He's such a damn good dad."Which you should.She's your priority."
"She is, but I'm beginning to learn that I need to be my priority too.You don't know how much it kills me to think you might not have come to me when you needed help.Like what would have happened if you'd just gone home and not trusted me enough?"His touch is soft as he reaches forward to cup my jaw."All of this probably seems like not a big deal to you, but it is to me."
I don't know what to say to his words, but he keeps on.
"What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't have questioned it.You should've known."
"I did," I interrupt him."There was never any doubt in my mind where I needed to go in order to feel safe.No matter how standoffish you can appear to others, I've always known that you'd keep anyone who needed it, safe.I might have wanted to hide what happened to me from you, but I was never scared to come here."
What I've said seems to have made a difference for him, his eyes which had been shielded, and his mouth which had been pinched is now relaxed."Then maybe I'm not as closed off as I thought I was."
"Oh no," I laugh."You're definitely closed off, but I've learned a lot about you since we first met."
"You have huh?"
"Yeah, I don't think I ever would've imagined I'd be here with you right now if I based it on our fist meeting."
He throws his head back laughing."Yeah, it was not my finest moment."
"It wasn't mine either."I grin, thinking back to how we first met.I'd been sitting at the bar at The Lean To, wondering what in the hell I was doing there.To be honest, I'd been ready to pay my tab and leave, when I felt someone bump me from behind and wetness start trickling down my back.Darren had been bumped, and had hit me while holding his drink.
"The way you jumped up, turned around, and slapped me across the face surprised the hell out of me," he says, his eyes warming at the memory.
My smile wavers."I'm completely excited that the two of us met that way, because it's turned into this.What I'm annoyed about is..."I trail off.
"Tell me.Tell me what's going through your mind."
Admitting all of this to him feels awkward, and uncomfortable.However, if there's one thing I've learned in all of this, it's that I'm going to need to be uncomfortable to get what I want."Like you said, I jumped up, turned around, and slapped you without thought.I wasn't worried about my safety, wasn't scared that it would come back to haunt me, if you decided to throw hands back.Why didn't I do that with Gerald?Why didn't I fight?"My chin trembles.
"Because, when we're approached in the way you were, there are a few things that can happen.Two of those are fight or flight.I firmly believe we know almost immediately what type of situation we're in, and we'll react with our gut.That's why you didn't fight.Your first thought was more than likely flight.Instead of standing there and arguing with him, you were probably looking for a way out."He reaches forward, steadying my chin with his thumb.
"Maybe I was, but that didn't mean that I couldn't fight back."
The noise he makes in the back of his throat is one I want to hear all the time."I'm glad you didn't," he admits, running the thumb back and forth against my skin."If you had, it would have angered him more, and I'm afraid he would've hurt you worse.So while you were hurt, and I'm insanely angry and sorry about it, I'm glad he didn't hurt you any more than he did."
I swallow hard, trying to push the tightness in my throat back."I am too."And it's at this moment that I stop trying to fight what's been happening between the two of us for months.I don't tell him those words though, I say something else."Alright, let's go to my apartment and get what I need."
The smile that spread across his face is one of the best things I've ever seen.
Chapter12
Darren
It's quiet in my truck as we go from my house to her apartment.The sun has set, and darkness is enveloping us.The green glow from the dashboard lights adds an ambiance, and at the same time makes it feel as if we're alone, although the tension between us is a living thing all by itself.
"Thank you for taking me to my apartment to get my stuff."
I hate the fact that she keeps thanking me for every single thing.I wish we knew each other well enough that she'd just expect this from me."You don't have to thank me to do something I want to."
She reaches across the console, and grabs my fingers with hers."I'm still thankful for you.I appreciate you being there when I came to your house, for getting your family involved, and offering me a safe space.It's the thing that I needed, and it feels as if this has all been more than just a couple of days."
"Right?I feel like the past forty-eight hours have been a few weeks.Is this where I turn?"I've never been to her apartment before, but I was kind of aware of where she lives.I have followed her home before with her permission to make sure she got home with no issues.
"Yeah, and you can park in that spot," she says as she points to a numbered parking spot.
I get out of the truck and job around to the passenger side, opening the door for her."C'mon, let's get this over with.I know this is where you live, but there's something about this place that gives me the creeps."It's almost as if someone is watching us, and every single piece of my gut is telling me to get us out of here as quickly as possible.
"I'm up here."
