"I've waited a long time to hear something like that."Her voice comes out thick against my shoulder."Thank you for loving my boy the way he deserves."
"Thank you for raising him into someone worth loving."I hug her back just as tight, feeling an understanding between us.it doesn't need much more explaining after this.
We pull apart after a minute, both of us wiping at our own eyes, and Kelsea laughs, a little watery but genuine."Look at us, crying over potatoes and onions like a couple of fools."
"I don't think it's the onions."I laugh too, grabbing a paper towel to dab under my eyes before my mascara ends up anywhere it shouldn't be.
"No, probably not."She goes back to the potatoes, tossing them into a pot of water on the stove, and I follow her lead, pulling out the green beans from the fridge to start trimming them."For what it's worth, Nick feels the same way I do.He doesn't say much, that husband of mine, but I've caught him watching you with Nicole a couple times now, and he gets this look on his face like he's finally allowed to relax about something he's been worried over for years."
"I didn't realize you both worried that much."Darren has always seemed like a responsible person that others shouldn’t be worrying about.
"Parents worry about their kids no matter how old they get, honey.Doesn't matter if that kid's thirty years old with a badge and a kid of his own.Nick and I have prayed for a long time that Darren would find someone who wouldn't just take from him, someone willing to give just as much back."She glances toward the back window again, where Darren and Nick are still out by the grill, steaks sizzling now from the smell drifting in through the screen door."Watching him with you the last couple weeks, watching how he looks at you when he thinks nobody's paying attention, I don't worry the same way anymore."
I follow her gaze out the window, catching Darren mid-laugh at something his dad said, tongs in one hand, relaxed in a way I don't think I fully appreciated until just now, hearing everything Kelsea's told me about the boy who used to hide how much he needed people.
"I'm going to spend every day making sure he never has to wonder if I'm gonna stick around."I mean every word of it, watching him through that window, already picturing years of kitchens just like this one, years of steaks on the grill and potatoes boiling on the stove and Nicole growing up surrounded by people who show up for her the way this family's shown up for each other.
"I believe you."Kelsea bumps her shoulder against mine.Then goes back to slicing vegetables like we didn't just have one of the most important conversations of my life standing over a cutting board."Now, hand me that garlic before I forget it entirely.Nick likes it heavy in the green beans, and I will hear about it all night if I skimp."
I laugh, passing her the garlic, and we finish out the rest of dinner prep together.This is the kind of thing I’ve wanted in my life for a long time.Through the window, Darren catches my eye and winks, like he already knows exactly what his mother and I have been talking about, and maybe he does.Maybe some things are just understood between people who love each other, without ever needing to be spoken out loud.
Whatever's still coming with Gerald, whatever it takes to finally put an end to him watching from the shadows, I know now, standing in this kitchen with Darren's mother beside me, that I've found exactly where I'm supposed to be.Not just with Darren, but with all of them, this whole messy, loving family that took in a scared boy and turned him into the kind of man who chases down monsters and still comes home gentle enough to slow-dance in the rain.
Chapter20
Darren
"You've got that look," Dad says as he takes a drink of his beer, looking at me over the top of it.
"What the fuck are you talking about?What kind of look?"
He grins, and I wait for him to keep talking.If there's one thing I know about my dad, it's that when he speaks you listen, because he doesn't talk that much."The look of a man who is finally happy with the life he has.The look of a man in love.You could say I recognize it."
There's no use in denying it.I love Macie, am falling in love with her."I've liked her since the day I met her, but having her here with me the last few weeks?It's solidified that she belongs in my life."
"I'm happy to see you happy.Lord knows you deserve it."
I don't want to get into what kind of marriage I had that made me believe that love no longer existed, so I turn it away from that."Maybe I was just waiting to meet her?Ya never know."
"Maybe you were."Dad claps me on the shoulder, and there's something in his eyes that tells me he means it more than he's letting on."Maybe some things just take their own time showing up."
"Steaks are almost done," I tell him, flipping the last one on the grill."Go tell Mom and Macie we're about ready out here."
He heads inside, and I stay out back another minute, letting what we talked about settle over me while I look through the kitchen window at Macie and Mom working side by side at the counter, both of them laughing about something I can't hear from out here.It hits me square in the chest, watching them like that, how easy it's all become, like Macie's been part of this family a lot longer than a few weeks.
I plate up the steaks and carry them inside, setting the tray down on the table where everyone's already gathering, Ella putting Nicole into her booster seat, Dad grabbing extra napkins from the paper towel holder on the counter.It’s all so fucking domestic, and something I wasn’t sure I’d ever have.
"This looks amazing."Macie eyes the spread once we're all seated, green beans and potatoes and steak fanned out across the table.I hope this becomes a tradition between all of us, and not just a one-time thing.
"Family recipe," Mom says, passing the potatoes down."Garlic's the secret.Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
We settle into eating, conversation flowing easy around the table.Nicole's picking at her green beans, more interested in playing with her food than actually eating it, the way she always does when she's more excited about the company than the food.
"Nic, eat a few bites for me, okay?"I tell her, nodding toward her plate.
She stabs a piece of steak with her fork, chewing it slow, her eyes on mine, like she's doing me a personal favor, then looks over at Macie, swinging her feet under the table."Mom, can I have juice instead of milk?"
The table goes dead quiet.
