"You are."
It takes everything in me to be that vulnerable and admit the truth.When we first met at the Lean To, I thought he was hot, that he looked like he needed a good time, and maybe we'd have a good time that night.I didn't think that here a few weeks later, we'd be searching each other out when things got rough.
He runs a hand through my hair, making a noise in the back of his throat."See to it that I stay that guy, Mace.I don't like to share."
"I don't either."
Our eyes meet in the steam of the bathroom, and my heart pounds within my chest.There's always been a ton of chemistry between us, and although this night has been one of the worst of my life, I appreciate that it brought me to him.
"Get dressed," he whispers.
And I realize he wrapped me in this towel, but he never looked at anything else.His eyes stayed above board, and I didn't even have a chance to feel uncomfortable about any of it.Quickly I grab the edges of the material, and hold it around my chest.The clothes that his mom brought are over on the counter.I walk over to it, and sift through the comfortable looking pants and a couple of shirts."Do you know who these belong to?"I ask off-handed as I pick out an outfit to wear.Underneath everything, I find a brand new package of underwear.I don't know how she knew my size, but I appreciate it more than I can ever tell her.Getting dressed makes me feel a little better, and more like myself.
"If I had to guess, probably my sister, or one of her friends.They were always at the house.Sometimes still are."
I nod, swallowing around my swollen throat.More than anything, I want to cry.Because this man didn't have to open his door for me, he didn't have to make sure that his mom came over and helped me, or the rest of his family.My hands start shaking, and my teeth start chattering.
"Macie, are you okay?"He gets up, and walks over.He turns me so that we're facing one another."C'mon, you're here with me.Things are going to be okay."
"Are they?"I ask, letting some tears fall.
He picks me up, putting me on the edge of the sink.He taps my knees, and I spread so that he can settle in between them.Running his hands up my thighs, the sides of my stomach, and then stopping on either side of my neck.
“They are,” he runs his thumbs up and down the column of my throat.
“I want to believe you,” I whisper, hooking my legs around his waist, and holding on tight.
"You don't have to believe me.I believe enough for the both of us.What I can tell you with certainty is that it's always darkest before light."He leans in so that our foreheads touch."This just happened to you.Of course it feels hard right now.The hospital was a place where you felt safe, and that safety has been tested.We'll get you through it."
"How?"I hate questioning everything, it's not who I am.I've always known my own mind, been highly motivated, and thought good things come to those who are good people.This has rocked my entire world.
"I'm going to be right here with you."
"You can't be with me all the time," I argue, sliding my arms around his waist, and falling into the hug.
He holds me tight, and drops a kiss to the top of my head."I'm going to be there with you when you need me."
I swallow roughly."You have a daughter, a life, and so much that you're dealing with, Darren."
He clears his throat, pulls back, and cups my face in his hands."You're right.I've got a lot going on.None of that's going to change any time soon.I'm busy, and I have a daughter, and a job, and if someone were to ask me before tonight, I would've said I don't really have time for anything else," he says the words low and slow, making sure I pay attention."But then you showed up on my doorstep and you needed my help, and all those feelings I thought I'd left behind with my ex-wife, rushed to my chest.I realized that in the past few months while we've been meeting at the Lean To, I've come to care about you."
Those whispered words make me want to cry."I care about you, too.I'm not asking for something you're not willing to give."
"I know, I'm offering, Mace.You need me?I'm gonna move heaven and earth to be there."
"I won't hold you to it, Darren, but I'm going to appreciate whatever you can do."I'm exhausted, and I yawn as I close my eyes.
"Tired?"
"Yeah, I'm coming down from the adrenaline.Exhausted is more like it."
He grabs me up off the sink, palming my ass."C'mon, let's go to bed."
I hold onto him, burying my face in his neck."Where am I sleeping?"I'm not sure what this looks like with his daughter.
"With me.I want you in my arms.Wanna make sure you're okay."
I want that too, so I nod, and hold on for dear life.While this night started out horrible, it's ending more peaceful than I ever could've imagined.
