“I haven’t really found myself attracted to anybody else before.”
“But you’ve had intercourse with other women?”
“Two.And they were my age.”
“Okay, what made you decide to have sex with them?”
I sighed again.“You know all of this, Harv.”
“Humor me,” he said deadpanned.
“Fine.They offered.”
“Right.Were you not attracted to them?”
“They were hot.Pretty, I guess.I mean, I was out with Kai.We went bowling, he invited a girl he was interested in, she brought a friend.We went back to one of the girls’ apartments and it just seemed like that was what she was expecting.”
“That was the first woman?”
“Yeah.”
“And the second?”
“Group project in college.Only two of us showed up at the library to work on it.We stayed until it closed.It still wasn’t done, she said we could go back to her house to finish it.So we did, then we had sex.”
“So neither of those instances, you were actually attracted to the women?”
“Not really, I guess.”
“And you didn’t pursue them?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
“So, this is why it’s fucked up.This is whyI’mfucked up.The first woman I’m interested in … who I can’t stop thinking about … who I thought about the other night when I jerked it in the shower, is fucking older than me.And not by like two or three years.It’s eleven years, Harvey.There’s something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Lennox.Did you know her age immediately when you met?”
“No.”
“When did you find out her age?”
“Tonight.Like twenty minutes ago.”
“But you’ve been attracted to her, thinking about her, having sexual thoughts about her for a while now?”
I ran my hand down my face.“About a week, I guess.”
“So you started liking her because of her personality, not because of her age.Does she look thirty-seven?”
“No.I thought she might be thirty, thirty-two max.She also wears braided pigtails and overalls like some farmer woman.”
“Does she work on a farm?”
“She runs the winery and vineyard with her cousins.But she said she’s the handy person around there.Always fixing things.”
“Okay, so she’s not dressing herself that way ironically or to appear younger.”
