I chuckle and fold my arms over my chest. Cain warned me about her and her insistence on feeding anyone who comes into her own. For some people, food is a love language. It’s how they show others they care. But I get the sense that for her, it’s also something to pass the time. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or offend her by refusing, but a heavy dose of sugar on top of the energy drink I consumed on the way over here probably isn’t the best idea.
“Onesmallslice,” I concede.
Being out and about gave me a boost of energy, but I can feel the fatigue slowly working its way back in. As soon as I stop moving, I won’t be able to keep my eyes open. The drills and equipment checks, I can manage. Hell, I don’t mind doing basic housekeeping chores around the station if it means keeping me awake. If luck is on my side, we will make it through the day without any major calls.
A few hours and calls for medical assistance later, I’m heating up a plate of grilled chicken, roasted vegetables, and rice in the station’s kitchen microwave when my phone rings.
Tessa.
My lips curve into a smile as the nickname I have her saved under flashes across the screen.
“Hey there, darlin’,” I rasp, then clear my throat.
“Hey, Lo. I just wanted to call and hear your voice. I know you didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“I’m hanging in there. Not the first time I’ve been tired on the job, won’t be the last. How’s our boy doing?”
She’s quiet for a moment. “He’s doing better. Living on the couch, watching movies. He still doesn’t have much of an appetite, but he hasn’t gotten sick again, and his fever seems to be staying away.”
“That’s good. I’d much rather be there with you two. Maybe I can take him to school tomorrow so you can sleep in a little before work.” It’s one of the things I’ve come to love about this job. Being away for twenty-four or longer periods of time is rough, but knowing that I’ll be home in time to have breakfast with them and take Jake to school gives me something to look forward to.
“I’m sure he would love that,” she says, the hint of a smile clear in her voice.
We end the call with an exchange of I love yous, and my heart has never been more full. My body rejoices when I finally lay down for the night in hopes of getting a few hours of solid sleep. I should know by now that it’s when you’re needing an easy shift the most that it won’t happen. My internal celebration is short lived, all hopes of sleep vanishing into thin air as the alarm sounds and bright light floods the room. I jolt out of bed, listening to the details of the alarm as I quickly throw on the necessary gear.
Who needs rest when there’s a fire demanding our attention?
Chapter forty-two
Tessa
“Canwegonow?”Jake whines, rocking back and forth on his heels with his backpack slung over his shoulders. He’s eager to get to school and see his friends, completely unaware of the turmoil clouding my mind.
Logan should’ve been here by now.
His twenty-four-hour shift was over at eight a.m., and we don’t live too far from the station. When no major calls come in during the night or early hours of the morning, he usually makes it here within fifteen minutes of getting off. Last night, when we spoke on the phone before bed, he was looking forward to joining us for breakfast and driving Jake to school. I’ve sent him a handful of text messages and tried calling, but they have all gone unanswered.
Something’s wrong.
I don’t know how else to describe the feeling swirling in the pit of my stomach.
If everything were fine, he would be here. I don’t want to let the dark thoughts intrude, but I don’t know how to shove them away when everything inside of me is screaming that this isn’t right. Logically, I know he’s probably just been pulled away for a fire or some other type ofemergency, but the fact that I haven’t heard from him is starting to get to me.
Jake doesn’t need to see that I’m worried, though.
“Yeah, let’s get going. Are you excited for school today?” I ask, trying to force any hint of unease away from my voice.
“Yeah, because my teacher said we get to play with Play-Doh today for building letters,” he says, the words tumbling out of him in a jumbled mess. He has been talking about making Play-Doh letters all morning. At the beginning of the school year, the teacher asked for donations of individual containers of the colorful molding dough and explained that students would use it for learning experiences in the classroom. I never would’ve thought to have Jake practice building letters out of the colorful clay. It sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun for the kids.
He continues to rattle on about the letters and sight words he thinks they’ll be building while we make the short drive to his school. In the drop-off line, he practically jumps out of the car and almost forgets his backpack due to his eagerness to get the school day started. A slight laugh bursts free as I reach behind the passenger seat and grab his bag, handing it to him. “I love you, buddy. I hope you have a great day.”
“I love you too, Momma!” he calls back, slamming the door before running off toward the kindergarten playground.
A smile crawls across my face as I watch him, but it quickly disappears when the nervous energy from unanswered calls and text messages slips back into focus.
The morning rush of customers at Lori’s Diner gives my brain a momentary reprieve, but it doesn’t keep me from checking my phone as often as possible. I sent Liv a text this morning letting her know I needed her, and thankfully, with The Stampede not being open this early, she’s on her way in to keep me company while I work and try to keep my mind from its downward spiral.
Tom Mercer stops in, as usual, and seeing him brings a momentary smile to my face. Jake spent twenty minutes on the phone last night, video chatting with Zack and telling him all about “Momma’s firefighter boyfriend.” My heart stings when I think of Zack and how he felt the need to move all the way across the country to Haven Beach, California to get away from our town and the heartache it holds. But if there’s anyone who understands what he’s been through, it’s me. As far as I know, Tom has never been anything but supportive of his children, though a little hard on them at times, and he seems happy with Zack’s decision. He and his girlfriend, Quinn, flew in for Jake’s fifth birthday, and we’ve been better about keeping in touch since. Ryan would have wanted Zack to be in our son’s life.
