I take her to the dressing table before changing her nappy. Once she’s cuddled back to my chest, her cries start to quieten.
My eyes burn as I look at the little baby we created and how badly I don’t want her to have parents who end up in a bad relationship. I’m scarred from being hurt before, and it’s not justmyheart that’s in the game this time.
CHAPTER 31
MAYA BROOKE
Finn still hasn’t moved from the doorway, and when I turn back to look at him, his face is filled with apprehension. I swallow the lump growing in my throat and suddenly realise what we’ve done. We were intimate, and now I’m falling apart.
“Maya—”
“We can’t do that again, Finn.” I blink back the tears in my eyes.
His brows furrow. “Because of Skye?”
“Yes, because of Skye.”
Finn runs his tongue along his bottom lip as he releases a tight sigh. “You still don’t trust me.”
“I—” I pause for a moment.
A part of me does trust him. Another part of me is petrified.
The hurt that crosses Finn’s eyes nearly cuts me in half. “Will I always be the alcoholic asshole to you?”
“That’s not fair. We said this wouldn’t change anything.”
“Change anything?” He laughs hoarsely. “We literally just made love to each other, Maya.”
I blink in surprise at his choice of words. “We have history, it’s always going to be special. But this is bigger than us.”
“Bigger than my feelings for you? Or the fact I just want to be with my girls.”
My mouth trembles as I attempt to hold in my tears. “What if we don’t work out?”
“What if we do?” Finn takes a step forward.
I glance away, my breathing becoming difficult. I place Skye back in her cot and walk out of the bedroom before we disturb her peace because I can’t handle all of this at once.
“Why are you fighting this?” he says as he follows me into the living room.
“Because I’m scared!” I shout, turning around to face him. “I’m scared of being all alone again. I’m scared of Skye growing up with parents who can’t be around each other. I’m scared of going through that heartbreak because I can’t do it again, Finn.I can’t do it.It nearly killed me.”
Finn’s chest vibrates as he watches me with glassy eyes. “You know I’m never going to be that person again.”
“I want to support you throughout your recovery, but I’m terrified of losing you again if things get tough,” I whisper as I wipe my eyes. “Skye is my priority.”
“She’s my priority, too, and so are you.”
I purse my lips and lower my head. “I just can’t push past the feeling I felt when you left. When you didn’t choose us. I had no one around me apart from the girls, and it fucking hurt because all people seem to do is abandon me. It haunts me, Finn, and I’m scared.”
“I was off my face, Maya,” he heaves. “It’s no excuse, but I am not him anymore. I don’t want anything to do with that version of me because he’snotwho I am.”
My head raises slowly as we lock eyes with one another. “What if you don’t choose us again?”
“I choose you both every single time,” Finn says as he blinks, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Until I fucking die. Nothing will come between us like that again.”
I suck in a breath as it makes my heart ache.
