“Okay.” I adjust my bag on my shoulder and hesitate before walking to the front door. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Yeah,” he whispers before turning back to our daughter.
The second I leave, I’m flooded with guilt for bringing up the past when he’s trying his hardest in recovery. It might have been terrible timing, but it doesn’t change the way I feel about the situation.
Just because Finn has been showing up doesn’t mean my fears have suddenly gone away. If anything, it’s shown me how amazing it is to have him here, and how easily it can be taken away from me.
What if he walks away again? He did it once when I thought I was his world.
Recovering from alcohol abuse can’t be easy, I understand that, but neither of us knows what the future holds.
“What’s wrong with you?”Alice asks as we head into our lecture.
I sigh, not wanting to talk about it because it’ll just upset me. “Nothing.”
“It’s written all over your face, Maya.” She frowns. “What’s happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Did Finn do something?”
I pause for a moment and sit down in silence.
“Oh fuck, he did. Didn’t he?”
My head twists towards her as fury bursts across her face. “No,” I murmur. “He didn’t do anything.”
“Then what?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek. “We had sex.”
“When?”
“This morning.”
“Holy shit,” she gasps. “And what…it didn’t end well?”
I avert my gaze and remove my notebook from my bag. “He wants to be in a relationship, but I still need time to make sure that he won’t leave us again.”
Alice slides an arm over my shoulder and hugs me. “Your feelings are completely valid, Maya. You were in pieces. Hell, I never want to see you like that again, so I understand where you’re coming from.”
“There might be a future for us,” I acknowledge. “But right now, I just wanna focus on Skye. Together. As parents. Not as anything more.”
“Of course, it’s just tough because it’s obvious you both still care about each other deeply.”
“Yeah, we always will.”
“If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to make sure it’s right.”
“I don’t want Finn to spiral.” I press my hand to my forehead and smooth over the ache building. “He wasn’t good when I left earlier.”
Alice gives me a sympathetic look. “He’ll be okay. If he wants to prove to you that he’s changed, he will. I’ve seen the way he looks at you two, and how much he wants to put things right.”
“Yeah…” I trail off.
I dig out my phone before the lecture starts and shoot him a text.
Maya:
