My mother huffs as if this conversation is an inconvenience to her. “I don’t hate you, Maya. Don’t be so ridiculous.”
“Then why don’t you care?”
“Like you said, you’re an adult. Why should you drag me down with your poorly made decisions?”
My jaw ticks as I shake my head in disbelief. “If you’re going to treat your kids like this, maybe you shouldn’t have had any at all.”
She stares at me for a moment, and when I think she’s going to give some witty response, she says, “Goodbye, Maya.”
I watch as she leaves and tears burn in my eyes. My entire body slumps forward, and I feel too many sets of eyes on me because no doubt they heard every single word of that horrific conversation.
I inhale a slow breath and attempt to calm down as I place down Skye’s bottle when she’s finished and start to pat her back.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Christmas is only a few weeks away…the most wonderful time of the year. The most miserable time of the year, more like.
Despite spending most of Christmases with my mum’s new boyfriend and Nina, I know that’s not a choice this year. I’d rather gouge my eyes out than sit across the table with my mother, knowing she doesn’t want me or Skye there.
I take my phone out of my bag and call my dad.
“Hey, sweet pea. How are you doing?”
My shoulders droop at his voice. “Hey, Dad. I’m—” I pause. “I’m okay.”
“Yeah? How’s Skye?”
“She’s great,” I murmur. “She’s doing well.”
“Ah, pleased to hear it.”
“Hey, uh…” I trail off. “Big question. Can I spend Christmas with you and Julie this year?”
There’s a long pause that fills me with dread. “Maya, we’re going to Mexico for Christmas with Alec and Jemima.”
I blink at his words.His wife’s kids.“Oh—” I feel my eyes begin to build with pressure. “Okay.”
“But we’ll be back before New Year’s,” he states. “Maybe we could see each other then?”
My nose begins to tingle as I try to hold it together. Ever since he got remarried and took on Julie’s younger children, it’s like there is no time for me. He calls me occasionally, but I’m usually the one chasing him because he’s too busy with his new life.
“I just feel like you’ve forgotten about me,” I say with a sad laugh.
“What? No. I could never forget about you, sweet pea.”
“I feel so alone,” I utter pathetically. “And you rarely call. It’s like you forget I exist since you have a new family now.”
My father exhales a sigh. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Maya. I never want you to feel like that. I should have told you. You’re not spending Christmas with your mum?”
I choke out another laugh. “No, I’d rather be alone than spend it with her.”
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “And you’re right, I’ve been a little distracted, and I admit that. I need to be better. I just thought now you have Skye, you’ve got everything figured out.”
Figured out? Everything feels like it’s falling apart.
“No, I don’t.”
“I’ll make more of an effort, Maya. I promise. I hate that you’re feeling like this.”
