“Definitely.”
“Go get showered, and I’ll see you next week.”
On the way to the locker room, I make a mental note to stop off at the local bakery and grab some of Maya’s favourite sweet treats along with a bunch of flowers.
Her period pains this morning were out of control. I wanted to stay home and look after her, but she encouraged me to go to my classes and my first football session back. So I want her to know I’ve been thinking about her all day.
As I leave the locker room and draw my phone from my pocket, my body collides with something hard. I’m muttering an apology as I glance up and freeze when I’m met with Alfie.
I stare at him for a long moment as his eyes glaze over with irritation.
Taking a large breath, I step around him, but before I can get past, he grabs onto my wrist and tugs me backwards. I scrunch up my face and snatch myself from his grip.
“What the fuck?” I blurt. “Get off me.”
Alfie’s tongue pokes into the corner of his mouth as he sizes me up, but I’m taller than him. “You are not good enough for Maya,” he states.
I blink at him in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he snarls, stepping closer so I can smell his minty breath from his chewing gum. “I know men like you and what they think they can offer, but they can’t.”
My jaw clicks as I watch his eyes flick between mine. “You know nothing about me.”
“I know that you’re an alcoholic,” Alfie snaps back with a tilt of his head. “And that you abandoned your child and your girlfriend so you could go get shitfaced. That’s sick.”
There’s a heaviness in my heart that grows when I think about how badly I messed up, but I’ve been working on gettingthrough it. Proving to Maya that I am different and that I don’t want that life anymore.
“Why are you so obsessed with my girlfriend, huh?” I step into him as he clenches his jaw. “She told me you asked her out. That you’ve basically been harassing her. Why don’t you get the message that she doesn’t want you? Leave her alone.”
I attempt to move again, but this time he shoves me back into the wall, and I resist the urge to shove him in return. But we’re on campus, and I don’t need to get suspended months before graduating.
Breathe, Finn. Breathe.
“My father used to say he’d get sober after spending days on end drunk out of his mind, spending all of our money, and taking his anger out on us.” Alfie exhales harshly as he looks up at me with blazing eyes. “I know what it’s like to be around an alcoholic, and no matter how many times they say that they’ll change, they never do. You’re going to end up bringing both of them down, and you won’t just ruin Maya’s life, you’ll ruin your daughter’s life, too.”
My fists clench at my sides. “I’m sorry your dad was such an asshole, but I am not the same as him. I’d never hurt my girls. I’ve already paid the ultimate price, and I’d never go back to drinking after that.”
Alfie laughs in response. “You think you have a choice? You’re sick. Alcoholism is an illness, and one day you’ll give in because you’ll have a bad day, or you can’t cope and have no self-control. Then you’ll put your family in danger, and they’ll end up as broken as you are.”
I grit my teeth so tightly my jaw feels like it’s about to crack. “Your lived experience isn’t mine, Alfie. Back the fuck off.”
He snorts and looks at me with vacant eyes. “It’s only a matter of time, Finn. You got yourself into this situation. Do you think that makes you a good man? It makes you weak andstupid. How are you meant to live the rest of your life knowing you fucked over those two girls? Surely it just lives in the back of your head at all times. Festering. Reminding you what you did and why you did it. That you’re a shit fucking dad and nothing will change that.”
My heart thumps so heavily in my chest as nausea creeps up through my sternum. I can’t take it anymore. I shove him as hard as I can. I don’t want anyone getting inside my head and trying to force me to think of all the bad times instead of all the progress I’ve made.
Remind yourself of what your therapist says. We can’t live in the past. We have to move forward. We have to forgive. We have to do better.
Alfie’s eyes widen with joy as if he got exactly what he wanted. “Oop, there he is. The aggressiveness is coming out.”
“I am not aggressive,” I say through my teeth. “And never have been.”
His brows raise to his hairline. “I beg to differ.”
“Stay away from my girlfriend,” I seethe.
“I’ll never understand how she could give you a second chance.” He tuts and folds his arms over his chest. “I just hope you don’t hurt them in the way my father hurt me, but once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.”
I bite my tongue as my chest starts to rise and fall rapidly.
