“Who’s to say if something bad happens in the future that I won’t return to drinking?”
“You won’t.” He shakes his head fiercely. “Because you’ve worked so hard to get where you are.”
“They deserve better.”
Silas’s eyes glaze over. “No. They deserve you, Finn. Healthy, alive, and the best version of yourself you can be.”
I snort. “I’ll never be that version. I’ll always be a mess.”
“Stop, man,” he pleads. “You’re letting yourself go.”
“What’s the point? Only delaying the inevitable.”
Silas stares at me for a long moment, and after a while, I push myself up from the ground and open my car door.
“Don’t do what I think you might do,” he says as he reaches out for me.
“I’m fine,” I murmur.
“Finn—”
I slide into the driver’s seat and slam the door shut. Silas stands right by the window, but I don’t look at him.
“Finn, think about this.”
My face scrunches up as I start the engine and drive off. I don’t remember how long I spent in my car before driving in the direction of home. But the second I walk through the door, Maya is there with an expression that reads confused and disappointed.
“Where have you been? I’ve called and texted you a thousand times. I thought something was wrong.”
I lower my heavy eyes and want nothing more than to fall face-first into bed.
“Finn?”
My chest quakes.
“What’s happened?”
“Just had a tough day. I’m sorry,” I murmur.
Maya’s eyes soften. “I didn’t mean to get mad. I worry about you.”
I scoff. “Because once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, right?”
She watches me with a concerned frown. “Finn…what’s going on?”
“I just need to sleep.”
Maya watches me as I head towards our bedroom. Skye is fast asleep, and I press a kiss to her forehead before shedding my clothes and slipping beneath the sheets. No matter how hard I try to push away Alfie’s words, they continue to buzz around my head without permission.
And I wallow because that’s all I know how to do.
CHAPTER 49
FINN THOMPSON
“Are you listening, Finn?”
I swallow back the razorblades in my throat and glance up at my therapist, Samuel, who adjusts his glasses. “Uh…” I force a nod. “Yeah.”
