“How can I ever trust you again?”
Her words feel like shots to my heart.
“I want to be better,” I plead with a heavy chest. “And I’ll prove that you can trust me.”
Maya flicks her eyes between mine slowly for a moment. She slides her hand into her jacket pocket and retrieves her phone before looking at the screen and sighing. “I need to go.”
My entire body deflates. This wasn’t enough time.
“Wait.” The word sounds desperate and pathetic. “When will I see you again?”
“I don’t know, Finn,” she sniffles. “I don’t know if this is fixable.”
Then she stands from the chair and walks out of the café, leaving me sitting here, wondering how I fucked up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
CHAPTER 9
MAYA BROOKE
PRESENT-12TH OCTOBER 2025
“Skye, please,” I whisper beneath my tears as I rock her from side to side.
I don’t know who’s crying harder, but we’re both distressed, tired, and fed up.
“Sweetheart,” I coo to her softly as her little face twists and pinches as she cries out. The sound punctures my ears and makes all the muscles in my back tense. “Come on. Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
The crying goes on and on until I’m silently crying along with her because I have no energy to make a sound.
I knew doing this alone would be hard, but I didn’t think it would be this hard.
“What am I doing wrong?” I sniffle as I stare down at her reddening face. “I don’t know what you want. You’ve been changed, fed, and cuddled. I put you down, you cry, pick you up, you cry.”
Skye starts to cough from how hard she’s screaming, and I feel like the world’s worst mother. The entire universe is againstme, and nothing I do will be good enough. I know it. Skye most definitely knows it.
“Shh.” I kiss her forehead tenderly as my tears start to dry on my cheeks. “Come on. I know you’re tired. Go to sleep, sweetheart. Just close your eyes.”
There is a knock at the door that stirs me away. I close my eyes in defeat as Skye’s crying continues until my ears feel like they might burst. I walk to the front door and open it to find Jade and Alice on the other side.
“Hey, Maya,” Jade says with soft eyes. “Surprise.”
Then I start sobbing uncontrollably. Alice steps forward to take Skye from my arms, and it’s a relief. Why is that a relief? I shouldn’t need someone else to take care of my baby for me.
Jade wraps her arms around me and kicks the door shut at the same time. “It’s okay,” she whispers, rubbing my back. “We’re here. Okay?”
“I-I’m so tired,” I choke out. “And nothing I do is right. She hates me.”
“That’s not true.” She shakes her head. “You’re her mother; she loves you.”
My nose wrinkles. “No. She doesn’t.”
I pull away from her embrace and dig the heels of my palms into my eyes to try and relieve the pressure that’s building, but it’s no use. My eyes are swollen, and my breasts are sore, and I’m fucking falling apart.
Some days I feel positive, other days I feel like I wasn’t cut out for this.
“Hey.” Jade tugs at my wrist gently. “You’re doing great, okay? You are one powerful, badass mum, and you are doing everything you can.”
My eyes lower from how heavy they feel. “Then why do I feel so awful?”
