“Almost three.” I toy with my necklace for comfort.
Finn’s face pales a little. “Three months?”
“I didn’t know for two months because I didn’t always get regular periods with my IUD, and I didn’t think anything ofit. But then I started feeling sick, so I took a test and it was positive.” My eyes droop.
He rests his head against his hand, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry you didn’t feel safe to tell me as soon as it happened. I should never have got angry at you, or blamed you. It makes me sick to my stomach to even imagine it.”
“I sprung something on you, and I told you I was keeping her,” I exhale, not knowing why I’m suddenly defending him. “You didn’t have the same amount of time to digest it as I did.”
His face scrunches up. “That doesn’t excuse it, Maya. I should have done so many things differently, and it’s my fault.”
I purse my lips as silence washes over us for a few minutes.
Finn rolls a hand down his face. “What about finishing your degree?”
“I’m meant to be going back in the new year and do my final year part-time, but I don’t think it’s feasible right now.” I clear my throat.
He frowns at me. “Because you have no one to look after Skye?”
I lower my eyes, the words stuck in my throat.
“Then I’ll help,” he says without hesitation. “I’ll be here whenever you need me. You deserve to finish your degree, Maya. You can’t give that up.”
A small laugh escapes me. “I don’t have a choice. There is a nursery on campus, but I’m too scared to leave her there. Not until she can at least walk and talk. I don’t trust anyone.”
I had no idea how protective I could be until I had Skye, and she’s changed my perception of everything. All I want is to keep her safe, and the thought of dropping her off with a stranger makes my stomach sour. I’ll be worrying non-stop, and I definitely won’t get any work done. I’m not ready for that yet.
Finn shuffles closer, our legs almost brushing. “But I am willing to put in the work and look after Skye. Not just because you want to finish your degree, but because I want to.”
My throat clenches at his words. “But you need to finish your last year of university, too.”
He shrugs. “Then we work something out. This is the most important thing to me right now, and I don’t care how I do it, I will. I won’t let you down. Not again.”
I flick my eyes between his slowly as I search for the honesty in his expression and immediately find it. Nothing on his face is reserved; it’s out in the open for me to see.
“Maybe,” I say after a few moments.
“Whenever you need me. You can call me at whatever time, even if it’s in the middle of the night, I don’t care. I will be there, and that’s a promise,” he says with deep sincerity.
My lips part. “Okay.”
“What day was she born?”
“August 1st.”
“What time?”
“Three minutes past four in the afternoon.”
“What’s her full name?”
“Skye Hazel Brooke.”
Finn’s eyes strain as he swipes a hand over his jaw—if he was there, it would have been his surname on the birth certificate. “I wish I was there. I should have been there with you.”
I wrap my arms tighter around myself because I don’t know what to say. Those last few months of pregnancy were hell. I didn’t know how to be a mother, let alone do it by myself. I barely slept, I fretted and stressed over things I physically couldn’t change, as well as dealing with a broken heart and wondering why we weren’t enough.
“I wish I was sober when you told me,” he murmurs before throwing his head into his hands. “I wish I had my shit together.”
