Julian considers my question for a moment, his dark eyes tracing the lines of my face. Then he pushes his thumb to my lips, breaching the seam and pressing its tip to my tongue, the length of his body shuddering.
“I’m finding that I’m willing to face just about anything to get my hands on you, sweet boy,” he says.
Julian
16
ABIGAIL FIDDLES WITH HERnew dollhouse; her favorite doll is taking afternoon tea in the drawing room, just as Abigail herself frequently does in therealChastain Castle.
I sit on her bed, watching idly as she plays—though my eyes consistently stray. Without my permission, they inevitably return to the stuffed, brown bunny that sits on her dresser. The one that looks so much like Atlas to me that I find it amusing.
Little bunny.
It’s strange to me how easy it is to read Atlas now that I’m at least a little certain of what his condition is. Or, rather, hiscurse.
Such a soft, sweet boy with a vicious appetite—and for some reason, a tremendous amount of guilt surrounding his own desires.
On one hand, I want to coddle him and show him exactly why heshouldn’tbe afraid of his needs. Yet, on the other hand, I crave being the first person to teach him how to love softly. To take him one slow second at a time as he comes over andover again.
I haven’t seen him all day—not since last night when I lay over his body and all but begged him to let me help.
I know it’s risky, that I’m going against all my own warning signs. But I can’t just sit idly by while he suffers, and this thing—the incubus, I believe Atlas called it—is affecting me, too.
So, I guess in that moment—with him naked and hot beneath me, so clearly flushed and used—I decided that Iamwilling to risk my employment, my proximity to Atlas, and my own safety just to help rid both of us of this monster.
Thinking back now that I’ve slept, it may have been a rash decision. But I don’t regret it; in fact, I’m kind of sick with excitement every time I think about encountering him again and figuring out what our first move will be.
I said I would help him… I’m just not surehowyet.
And fuck—I should have kissed him. I regretthat, out of all the things I said or did last night. Instead of playing it safe and getting up, heading to my own room, and falling into a fitful sleep, I should have planted my lips firmly to his and replaced the taste of that incubus.
“Julie, should we eat lunch?” Abigail asks, and I startle, my eyes shooting to where she’s sitting on the floor, gazing up at me.
“Are you hungry, Missus Abigail?”
“A little. What are you thinking of so seriously?” Her proper tone and piercing green eyes are kind of suffocating as she questions me.
Taking a deep breath, I smile. “Nothing, really. Let’s eat, yeah?”
Standing, I take her small hand in mine, and we begin the walk to Hall E1.
Her long blonde hair brushes my forearm as it sways in loose waves, and I can’t help but relish the small pocket of peace that I am given when I’m with the little girl I’m meant to be watching.
Her affection and innocent demeanor make me feel like the big brother I’ve always wanted to be—even if it’s contractual.
“You know, I’m really happy you’re here, Julie,” Abigail suddenly says, as if reading my mind, just as we’re crossing the main foyer. “You’ll be here for a long time, right? You won’t leave us?”
Something sour twists in my gut at her soft, hopeful words. I intend to be here for a long while, sure. But if I start helping Atlas, and Abraham or Atticus finds out and decides I need to go—that’s that.
I’m just now realizing that I’m not only risking my father’s and my income and my own safety, but Abigail’s happiness as well.
“Of course, my friend,” I say softly. “I plan on being around for as long as I’m allowed to be.”
She beams, her cheeks rosy and her eyes bright as she squeezes my hand.
Entering the kitchen, we find Barfred puttering around the stove and adjoining counters. He’s preparing a meal consisting of different sandwiches, fruits, salad, and what appears to be baked asparagus.
“Barfred!” Abigail shouts in greeting, and the man turns to give her a gentle smile.
