I swallow thickly, taking a deep breath as I say, “A little warm. But it’s not a big deal; I’m used to overheating. Actually—” A small chuckle leaves me. “I haven’t had a reprieve from this heat since my eighteenth birthday. Other than that brief period of time where I thought I was cured, but it was actuallyyouwho cleaned me up and forced the demon away.”
Julian watches me with slightly furrowed brows, his head cocked slightly. “You… you thought you were cured?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “When I woke up, I was clean. That never happens. And for some reason, I was finally cool, and physical touch wasn’t as intense for me anymore. So, I just thought…”
I don’t finish. Remembering that small moment of joy hurts my heart, and I’d rather not relive the disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“Don’t be. How could you have known?”
Julian makes a sound of agreement before he angles his body toward me. “Do you think I helped in some way? That I genuinely forced the incubus to leave you alone that night, and in doing so, it offered you some relief?”
“Ah, I don’t know. I mean, it could have just been startled and vanished,” I supply. “And it didn’t get to, uh,finish. So that might be why I was so physically relieved the next day.
“Hm,” Julian hums. “Well, we’ll figure it out.”
He hasn’t touched me again, and as he angles his body back toward the cliffside, something hot and achy burns inside of my chest.
Was he really that turned off by learning he was my first kiss? Does he regret sleeping with me, and now he’s helping out of pity and twisted obligation?
I might vomit.
“Julian,” I start, dropping my gaze to the dead grass below us. “Did you… Were you upset by what I said in the altar room two days ago?
“Which part?” he asks casually.
I freeze. “Uh, the kissing part. How you… you were my first kiss.”
Julian makes a small, amused sound. When my eyes meet his, I can see the twinkle of joy and admiration in them. He’s grinning softly.
“No, Young Master Atlas. I was not upset,” he tells me. “In fact, if saying this isn’t too weird, it pleased some possessive part of me in a sick way.”
Anewkind of hot ache fills my body at his words, at his piercing gaze.
“Right. Okay,” is all I can manage.
Anything more, and I might ask him to take me again, right here and right now. Julian’s grin widens.
“Okay,” he repeats.
He takes a step toward me. I take a step back.
If he puts his hands on me, I think an embarrassing noise might slip out in view of anyone who could be creeping from the windows behind us.
“I should go in,” I say. “Will you come to the altar room tonight?”
Julian nods, his smile faltering for a singular moment before he turns his attention to the Pacific once more.
“Sure. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Tonight, then,” I confirm.
I flee before I can change my mind. Before I can’t stop myself from falling to my knees in front of him or pleading with him to scratch the itch lying deep beneath my skin.
Slipping back inside of Chastain Castle, I hang my coat on the rack and head towards the main staircase.
Maybe I should masturbate—would that help tame my urgent need to taste him? To feel him?
