“I want you to stay,” he confesses. “I don’t want you to never speak to me again. We don’t have to get married. Fuck, we don’t even have todate. I’d be yours, and you’d be mine, that’s all.”
That’s all. Except it kind of sounds likeeverything.
For a moment, I’m dumbstruck by how familiar this moment feels to me. How, not that long ago, I was stuck in a bathroomand pleading with Julian to stay with me. That I would forget the comfort I need, if only he would stay.
“Do you want to date?” I press. “Do you want marriage?”
Nate cracks a small smile, his fingers pressing gently into the skin on either side of my neck. “I want all of you, any way I can have it. Even the annoying, grating parts.”
NowI’mgrinning, and I swear that even without his power of illusion working its magic, this entire room is that little pocket of the sky Nate has given to me. We’re somewhere private and beautiful, surrounded by warmth and light and everything that brings me comfort.
That darkness that lives inside of me begins to recede, as if it’s just now noticing Nate’s presence and is running in horror. My body feels lighter, my mind clearer.
“Is this a yes?” Nate asks as I raise a hand to rub over his jaw softly.
“No,” I whisper. And as his face falls into something devastating, I add, “But I’ll reconsider after you tell me what happened to you. Once I understand.”
A heavy sigh leaves his mouth, fanning my face as he nods once. “Alright, little Lanny. I’ll tell you everything. Just, uh, not right now, okay? Can we talk about this another time?”
It’s almost like he needs to prepare himself for it. He looks paranoid and tired, if not a bit frightened.
“Sure,” I reply. “But you aren’t fucking me until we do.”
Nate chuckles, and it’s such a relieved and beautiful sound I could cry listening to it. “That’s fine. I’m just… fuck, I’m so sorry about everything. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” I assure him. “And after you tell me what you’re hiding, I’ll feel it too.”
A knock sounds on the door I’m leaning against before Julian’s voice rings out. “Landon? I brought up most of the snacks. You coming?”
Bastard. I bet he planned this entire fucking thing after having that talk with me. It would definitely explain the weird reactions I was getting from Cameron and Atlas earlier.
“Uh, yeah. Coming,” I shout back.
Nate turns and grabs the platter he had been working on, passing it to me. “I’ll call you soon, alright?”
Nate has assured me that he’d call me so many times before, and yet I still feel comforted. Assured. I think hewillcall.
“Okay,” I murmur, reaching behind myself to grab the doorknob. “I’ll just… talk to you then.”
He nods, giving me one last smile as I slip out of the kitchen.
A few hours later, I’m lying on my back in the guestroom at Chastain Castle. We stayed up way later than I thought we would, with Atlas and Cameron becoming delirious with laughter and Atticus watching fondly. And of course, Julian was the source of all the laughter with his charming humor.
It was nice spending time with them. Much nicer than it was before I went to the kitchen, because suddenly, I didn’t feel as lonely.
Plus, I’m starting to really like Atlas. He’s sassy and genuine, if not a bit childish at times. The more I watch him and Julie together, the more I realize how perfect they are for each other.
Julian needs someone just as goofy and good-natured as he is—I never could have made him happy. I’m too standoffish, too aggressive and bratty.
And all of those things are quirks that Nate either adores or loves to hate, and I find both options very suitable if it means his hands return to me.
A soft rap sounds against the guestroom door, and for a moment, my heart rate picks up, anticipating Nate sneaking in despite my saying I wouldn’t sleep with him.
Instead, Julian is the one to push open the door, closing it behind himself gently before he falls onto his stomach next to me on the bed.
I never thought I’d see the day when Julian sneaks into a dark room to see me, and I’d be mildly disappointed.
“How did it go?” he asks, resting his head in his palm as he peers down at me.
