For a moment, we’re little boys again. We’re lying in my bed, about to play on my Xbox or telling each other secrets in the dark.
“I knew it was you who orchestrated this,” I joke, jabbing my fingers into his side.
He chuckles, shoving my hand away. “Well, something had to be done. I couldn’t stand you looking so miserable.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, turning my attention back to the ceiling. “Thanks.”
“So?” Julian pushes. “How was it?”
“We argued,” I confess. “And then didn’t. And now I’m just waiting.”
“Waiting?”
“Yeah. He has some truths to give me. I think they may be hard ones, though, so he’s taking some time first.”
“And you’re not going to fuck him until he tells you, right?” Julian asks.
It’s kind of hilarious how we’re always on the same page. Two sides of the same coin, or some shit. But then his words truly register, and I grimace.
“I don’t, uh, I don’t fuck Nate,” I tell him, turning to see his expression.
Julian is grinning, wiggling his eyebrows at me. “Oh, yeah? Is that more ofhisdepartment?”
I roll my eyes, shoving at him again. Which, of course, just means he shoves my good arm, getting me right back.
“What, you telling me Atlas fucks you?” I tease, which makes Julian release a loud, cackling laugh.
“Could you imagine?! I think he’d kill me if I asked!”
“And you’re okay with that?” I press.
If Julian’s needs aren’t being met, then that’s a problem.
But he just sighs wistfully, dropping his head onto his arm against the bed. “Yep. I love everything about Atlas, even his permanent bottom mindset.”
We sit in a comfortable silence after that, listening to the sound of our hearts beating so close together in this quiet room, which is incredibly comforting.
“I’m happy we’re okay,” I whisper, keeping my eyes trained on the ceiling.
“Me too, Lan. I missed you so much.” His hand finds mine, and I squeeze it right back.
“Does Atlas know you’re down here? Or that we used to…” I would die if, right as I’m happy for the two of them, I were the cause behind their breakup.
But Julian nods. “Atlas knows everything. I haven’t been able to deny him an answer or an explanation from the moment we met.”
“You really love him, huh?”
“Of course,” he says. “So much so that he’s not even a bit concerned that I’m in here right now. Although, to be fair, I kind of did a huge gesture to prove myself to him.”
“A huge gesture?” Maybe I shouldn’t have been so distant because I really missed out on seeing that.
Julian sits up on the bed, his expression one of caution as he debates answering. And it feels shitty if I’m honest, because we’ve never really hidden things from each other.
Well, other than my gift and my depression.
The one perk of losing coercion is not having to hide it, I guess.
“Listen,” he starts, fiddling with the strings of his sweatpants. “I’m going to tell you parts of it, but it’s truly not my story to tell, so I can’t give you everything.”
