“You wanted to know how I feel about you. How crazy I am about you.”
I tilt my head back and forth, acting like a brat. “You said I ‘make’ you crazy, actually.”
“Oh,” he muses, ignoring my comment. “You remember the moment in your room then.”
“Of course I do,” I spit out.
“Then. What. Do. You. Say?” he asks again, truly losing patience now. “Are you crazy about me, Calypso? Or do I just ‘make you crazy’?”
I bite my lip, unsure of what to say.
I know what Iwantto say and what Ishouldsay.
Deciding on the latter, I tell him, “I can’t give you what you want—I won’t.”
He walks closer until my back hits the counter and his arms cage me. He doesn’t touch me, though. Selfishly, I wish he would despite every cruel word I’ve thrown at him all night.
“What is it that you think I want?” he asks in a deadly voice. “A wedding? Kids and a picket fence?”
“I—yes,” I say, suddenly doubtful. I’ve seen him with Jake and Matty—hell, even Grady’s girls love him.
“You’re wrong,” he says simply. “What other assumptions have you made about me?”
I open my mouth but before I can respond, he adds, “Which we agreed not to do early on. But let’s hear them.”
Shame washes over me.
I hated when hejokedabout how I wouldn’t have listened to a certain type of music while I was in ballet. It was more than his assumption. It’s something I’ve dealt with my whole life, but still.
“You wouldn’t have asked someone to marry you if you didn’twantto,” I accuse. “So it’s easy to assume—”
He scoffs at the word, and I flush but push forward.
“—To assume that when your ex ‘changed her mind,’ it was about those things.”
He laughs, but it’s bitter and dark. “She did change her mind on those things.” I scowl but he continues, “When we first got together, we talked about living in the city, about our careers and what we wanted from life. Marriage was never on the table until Hannah wanted that. And I thought, ‘We’d be together anyway. So, sure, I can do this for her.’ It’s a normal thing to want that commitment.”
I’m vibrating with anticipation. We don’t talk about these things, and it’s solely my fault.
“A wedding turned into wanting to move to the suburbs instead of downtown. Hannah started mentioning which ones had good schools or accessible childcare. It was neverjusta wedding, Calypso. And you know what? I want Hannah to have all of those things. She recently got engaged to another man, and I’m happy for her. BecauseI wouldn’t give her those things.”
Not that he couldn’t—he wouldn’t.
He caught that.
“Oh… I didn’t—I thought you…” I say, grasping for words that are just out of reach.
“Don’t tell me what I want,” he says in a low tone. “And don’t assume you aren’teverythingI fucking need, honey.”
I close my eyes and hold back a whimper at the endearment. I don’t want to lose Liam.
I’m pushing and pushing and pushing, but it’s not what Iwant.
When I open my eyes, I look up at him. “Stefan wanted kids,” I say quietly.
He watches me. “And you didn’t.”
I shake my head. “I’ve never wanted children. Stefan said he was fine with that, but he lied. He lied about so many things.”
