The young servant gave her a quick bow before scrambling out of her way, so eager to escape. However, the tension seemed to have spread through every inch of the grand house.
She did not doubt her husband. Still, something about it all nagged at her. Yes, he was innocent, but he married her months ago. He had made love to her—or so she thought—but he had not once mentioned the event that destroyed Malcolm’s family.
He never told me anything.
The realization hurt more than she could imagine. It meant that she had been living in a daydream for the past few weeks. In their bedchambers, there were just the two of them. She had given him her body, heart, and soul completely. Her defenses were down, and she had let herself be consumed.
What had Kenneth given her in return? He had given her his name and wealth, and for that, she would be eternally grateful. Though her family was content with living in genteel poverty, there was at least no threat to their security.
Kenneth protected her. He defended her against Lady Rose. He had given her his body, freely and passionately. Just the thought of him being vulnerable in front of her every time he reached his peak made her feel warm all over. There was trust in that vulnerability.
And yet...
He still could not share the secrets that mattered with her. He kept the truth about what happened with Roberta or his father. How could she continue being with someone who guarded his heart so fiercely against her? If he guarded his heart so much, how could he ever love her?
“I need to take some air,” she muttered to herself.
Without summoning anyone, Madeline grabbed a thick coat to wear before leaving the house and stepping into the biting air of a chilly day.
Perhaps a walk will help me clear my mind.
Chapter 29
The study had become suffocating, its walls the only thing Kenneth thought he needed. Yet, he was still there, hiding. Hiding from everyone. His walls had gone down. So, he needed real walls to block everyone out.
The isolation was getting too loud, though. Once, these four walls had been a comfort to him. He had spent years retreating into rooms like this one, where no one could reach him. But he was not that man anymore. Madeline had changed him. Now the silence only pressed on him until he could hardly breathe, and the solitude he had always guarded felt like a punishment.
The thought of Madeline made his heart ache.
He groaned at the thought of telling her to leave. His words now sounded cruel to his ears. While his brother’s words had sounded hateful, he was no better. Madeline had offered to stay behind to comfort him, but he sent her away.
I am such a fool.
And the truth was, he needed her. He needed to see her smile to remind himself of the one pure thing left in his obliteratedworld.
Kenneth flung open the study doors and walked into the hallway. His boots sounded frantic on the floorboards as he called, “Thomas!” His voice sounded hoarse from hours of silence and dehydration.
The young footman who was guarding the doors almost hopped in front of him. His face was pale, but he managed to give a bow. Undoubtedly, the young man was still thinking about his earlier threat.
“Y-your Grace?”
“Where is my wife?” Kenneth demanded, as his breathing became more labored. “Do inform her that I require her in the drawing room at once.”
Thomas would not meet his eyes, swallowing hard. His eyes darted toward the grand entrance doors. Something shifted inside Kenneth at the movement.
“I... Her Grace is not at home, Your Grace. She left some time ago. She went on foot without calling her maid or requesting a carriage.”
Kenneth stilled. He could hear the roaring of blood in his ears. His body felt like ice as the world seemed to stretch far from him. So, this was what real terror felt like.
She left me.
Kenneth could not even blame her. No one should have had to witness what happened last night, least of all his own wife. She had married into a family rotting from the inside, and a husband who had buried it all under lock and key rather than speak a word of it. She had given everything to him, while he had kepthis heart closed and his secrets to himself. Why would she stay?
It was too late when he realized just how wrong it was to keep such a huge secret from his wife. With love or not, a spouse was a partner one should work with and not hide things from.
“Your Grace?” Thomas whispered, uncertainty all over his face.
Kenneth did not respond. Instead, he turned on his heel and flew through the hallway. He did not bother to grab a hat. He burst through the servant’s entrance, which led to a shorter path toward the stables. His lungs burned as he emerged into the chilly outdoors.
