“Saddle Dominion!” he roared as soon as he saw a stable boy. Gone was the control he was best known for. He was desperation personified. “Right now!”
Within minutes, he was pushed onto the back of his horse, a massive black stallion. He dug his heels hard into the beast’s flanks, commanding a speed that had them bursting out of the gates like a man possessed.
A madman.
Kenneth did not know where Madeline could have gone on foot. She would have asked for a carriage to visit her family. He would search all of London if he had to. His mind was already galloping toward the frightening possibility of her walking around dangerous streets all alone.
No, he would not let her face London on her own. So, he rode like the devil was galloping after him. His lungs burned as he tore through Mayfair’s fashionable streets. Was she wearing her bright colored frocks today, the ones that made her who she truly was? Or did she wear darker gowns that looked beautifulon her, but seemed sadder?
Kenneth continued to look at each lone female figure walking on cobblestones. Carriages had to swerve out of his path, with drivers shouting curses at him. He was reckless, and he did not care. All he could think of was finding her as soon as possible.
Please do not leave me.
The night before, he had said the exact opposite, and she might have taken him at his word. It was his pride that had gotten him into trouble in the first place. He saw it clearly now. He loved her, and he had been too much of a coward to say it. If she would only give him one more chance, he would never again shut her out or keep her in the dark.
Where have you gone, Madeline?
The Duke navigated every street, quiet or noisy. With each failure, his throat closed in on him as his panic rose higher.
Kenneth had been a man of control ever since he was a child. Right now, he was powerless. The only thing that kept him going was that he could not afford to return to Huntington without her by his side. It would be like being sentenced to the gallows.
As hope dwindled like shifting fog, he caught sight of a thick, purple coat and dark tresses. His breath caught. He pulled harder on his reins, Dominion letting out a neigh of complaint. His hooves skittered and balanced over wet cobblestones. Throwing all caution to the wind, he swung his leg over the saddle even as his stallion continued his rampage. His body dropped heavily on the pavement, the dismount shaking his joints.
“Madeline!”
Madeline startled at the sound of her name. She spun around, her eyes wide with apprehension, which quickly became shock.
Kenneth could only imagine what she was seeing at that moment. He must look completely discomposed with his dark hair unruly from the wild ride and the breeze. Strands stuck to his forehead, and his shirt had been torn open, exposing his throat. Mud splattered over his coat and trousers, proof of his punishing pace and total disregard for the paths he had taken.
“Kenneth?” she called out, stepping back from him. “What are you doing? Why are you—”
She was not able to finish the sentence because Kenneth had already closed the distance between them. His large hands grasped her shoulders, trying not to squeeze her too hard lest he frighten her even more. Yet, his body was still trembling from the chill and the fear that he had lost her.
“I did not do it,” he rasped, his voice cracking. His throat felt raw from the effort. “Madeline, please look at me. Listen. I did not do it. I never touched her, nor did I attempt to seduce her. I swear it to you on my life!”
“Kenneth, please keep your voice down. People are staring at us!”
“I do not care!” he cried. He knew that he did not. He leaned closer, watching every movement in her face for clues. Would she go home with him? “Two years ago, Roberta threw herself at me. It was exactly as I told everybody last night. She appeared naked in my private rooms. She offered herself, but I did not desire her, and I would never betray my brother even if I did. I had to send her away to protect Malcolm and the children. It was not to silence her for my sake!”
Madeline stared at him, and he could feel the intensity of her observation. With it, the bustling London street faded. She reached up for his cheek, her small hands caressing the stubble over his skin.
“You do not have to say all that, Kenneth,” Madeline murmured. “You know I believe you. I believed you last night, too. I never thought for even a moment that you could be capable of such a thing.”
Kenneth let out a shuddering gasp of relief. His head dropped, letting his forehead touch hers. His shoulders sagged as tension left him.
“If you believe me, then why did you leave?”
He still sounded tentative even to his ears.
“I needed some time to think. About us. About what this marriage is.” Madeline drew back enough to look at him, and Kenneth all but held his breath. “And I am not certain I can spend my life with a man who keeps so much of himself from me. His heart. His past. Even his pain. I have given you everything, Kenneth, and in return you have given me a locked door.”
“Madeline, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know you did not. But look at what it took for you to tell me the truth.” Her voice was gentle, which somehow made it worse. “If Roberta had not come and forced your hand, none of us would ever have known. You would have carried this secret to the end of our marriage and let me believe there was nothing wrong. And even after everything we have shared, your first instinct last night was still to send me away rather than let me see you suffer.”
Kenneth flinched. She was right, and he could not deny it.
“I know,” he said quietly. “And I cannot promise you that I will do everything right from now on. I have spent my whole life learning to hide, and I do not know how to unlearn it overnight. But I can promise you this. I will never again keep you in the dark. If you will have me, you will have all of me, even the parts I am ashamed of.”
