I had a very bad feeling it was going to be a very long day.
Chapter Forty-Two
“Suspicious - openly distrustful and unwilling to confide.”
Piper
Dex was being very quiet. Since we got in the car and headed back toward Fairbanks, he’d barely spoken two words. When I tried to talk he would just nod his head or turn up the radio. It’s like he couldn’t even look at me.
Normally his silence wouldn’t bother me. Dex wasn’t really a talkative kind of guy. He didn’t talk just to talk, but this time his silence was different. It was sort of charged and uncomfortable.
“Almost drowning was pretty scary, huh?” I said, not looking at him, keeping my eyes on the road. The way he acted earlier at the hospital, thinking I would be mad at him and mumbling his responses when I spoke, he probably thought I blamed him. What a horrible experience it was, and I think I got lucky. Lucky because I passed out; I couldn’t remember everything. But him… He was awake the whole time. He lived the entire horror of it.
“It wasn’t fun,” he said, his voice low.
I was shocked he actually replied at all so I wanted to keep the conversation going.
“I told you I don’t blame you. You believe me, right?”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice almost sad. “Yeah, I believe you.” He still didn’t look at me when he spoke.
I drove on in silence, not sure what else to say. If he knew I didn’t blame him and he knew that we were both okay, then why was he still acting so broody?
My thoughts were swirling so much I almost didn’t hear what he said next. “Maybe you should.”
I looked over at him. “What?”
“Forget it.” He shook his head and stared out his window.
“I won’t forget it. Why would you think I should blame you for something you had no control over?”
“Because you almost died!” he yelled, his voice echoing through the quiet car.
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. Was that what this was about? Was he this upset that I almost died?
“But I didn’t,” I said quietly.
“I thought you had. When we were on the mountain, I thought…”
I felt a rush of emotion. I don’t know if it was from him or from me or a combination of us both, but it was intense and it filled the tiny space of the car and pressed in on me. Impulsively, I pulled the car over to the side of the highway, putting it in park but leaving the engine on.
He didn’t react to the fact we were sitting along the road; he didn’t even look at me.
I took a chance, turning toward him and reaching out, laying my hand on his arm. “Dex?” I whispered.
He flinched.
I pulled my hand away.
“I didn’t die,” I said again. “I’m still here.”
And then he was turning, his arms reaching, and I was pulled against him. He tucked my cheek in the crook of his neck and one arm wound around my back while the other pressed my head into his shoulder. I could hear the thundering of his heart; it sounded like a herd of wild horses running through an open field.
“When the doctor said… when he said you were across the hall… I realized you weren’t dead and I… God help me, I was so relieved.”
His chest rose and fell with his breath and with his emotion. He almost sounded ashamed that he felt relief.
“It’s okay,” I told him, my voice muffled against his neck.
