“I just...fuck, Slick. Hell, I don’t know what to do. Like you said, this isn't the first person who’s warned you about me, and I guarantee it won't be the last. I know you're not ready, but I'm willing to take it slow. You need to trust me and not listen to the gossip. I have a feeling D might be wrong about who's going to get hurt.”
I shook my head, wondering if he had lost his mind at his preposterous statement.
“Talk to me, Faith. Please, tell me you trust me, or at least give me the benefit of the doubt until I earn it.”
“Kill, I need you to keep your word and take it slow with me. In my heart, I know one of two things are going to happen between us. One, you’ll be everything I need you to be, going all in and making this work. Two, you’ll disappoint the hell out of me. I'm not sure I'm ready for either of those scenarios right now. I don't want to be that girl. The one who gets out of one relationship and jumps right into another. I want to define myself, not let the person I'm with define me. I see the women around you, and I can't compare to half of them. I need to have some self-confidence in who I am before I dedicate myself to anyone, especially someone like you.”
It was his turn to stare at me like I’d just made the statement of the year at an idiot convention.
“You're right about one thing; you don’t compare to half of them. In fact, you don’t compare to any of them. You're so far out of their league; it's laughable. I know you don’t see yourself the way you should, but you're beautiful, intelligent, strong, and stubborn." He stroked his finger lightly down my cheek before reclaiming his hand. "I need to talk to D tomorrow and let him know how dedicated I am to you. I was wrong to think he had feelings for you other than the strong urge to protect you. He has been through so much; it makes sense he would want to be a hero to the people he loves.” Kill plopped down on my bed, the worry that had strained his face since I’d walked back into the room seemed to be disappearing. I pushed him down on the bed and straddled his waist, my hands covering his cheeks, as I needed to claim his full attention.
“You can’t talk to him tomorrow,” I said with a hysterical edge to my voice. He gave me a curious look while I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself so I could explain. “We just started this...whatever this is.” I motioned my finger back and forth between the two of us as his eyes started to harden. “You promised you would take this slow with me. I can't have people bombarding me with advice or warnings like I know they will. Honestly, I don't know if I'm strong enough to let their words of caution not influence me.”
He winced as if my words were tiny daggers pelting him with every syllable I spoke. I decided to employ a distraction technique to move away from the topic. Our conversation was diving too deep into my insecurities, and I couldn't handle the onslaught of feelings that would come up by delving into them further.
I leaned over, watching his eyes transition from hurt to lust the closer I moved. His pupils dilated until the blue around them was just a sliver surrounding the blackness of pure want. I pushed down slightly on his hips causing friction between us and making both of us gasp with pleasure.
I traced his lip with my tongue, sucking it in between my lips and trying to get my fill of his taste while knowing it would never be enough. His eyes were locked on mine, neither of us blinking, both wanting to stay in the moment. A burst of fear ran up my spine, and I wondered if I was going to be strong enough to get over my abandonment issues and give him a fair chance.
I pushed into him, and doubled my efforts at banishing my worry by kissing him more passionately. He rolled over so I was under him, pinning me down and pressing his erection into my core. Heat exploded through my senses, and with each thrust my worries shrank away as lust pushed everything else aside.
Someone went into the bathroom, and we moved away from each other immediately, both of us out of breath. I pressed my lips together to stop the tingling Kill's kisses created, but the movement made his taste flood into me, causing pleasure to rush inside of me again. My vagina was content I was no longer denying Kill, at least for tonight and left me to my own devices.
He kissed my forehead and scooted me up to the top of the bed, pulling the covers over both of us in the process. I shifted until my back was pressed into his chest, feeling secure in his arms. His erection pressed against my butt, and my body instinctively pushed into it. He growled into my ear, biting my lobe and causing more heat to rush between my legs.
“Stop that, Slick. You're going to kill me if you keep doing that.”
“Sorry,” I whispered back with a huge smile on my face, happy I’d caused such an intense reaction.
“No, you aren’t.”
I guess I wasn’t as convincing as I thought.
“I'm going to wreck you when your visitor leaves,” he responded, causing me to shiver.
It pained me to know the only thing keeping us from giving into each other was my body. “Promises, promises,” I replied, trying to sound like I didn’t care one way or the other.
He chuckled, feeling my body’s reaction to him contradict my words. “Go to sleep.”
I was about to tell him to stop giving me orders but ended up yawning instead. I snuggled deeper into his chest, and he tightened his hold. He kissed the top of my head as we let sleep take us under.
