Araxis actually turned around and set the tray down on the counter again.He was flushed so pink he'd practically gone red."I need a moment," he said, staring emptily at the fridge.
I chortled, pleased, because at least if I had to sit through another meeting, I'd have this conversation to think about.I'd have the image of Araxis's pink cock pressing into my body."Sorry," I said to the back of Araxis's head, not sorry at all."Probably should have saved this conversation until after our meeting."
"I started it," Araxis said seriously, the colour starting to fade from his cheeks."I cannot seem to control myself around you."
"I don't know, you did a pretty good job waiting for me to be ready," I said, moving to touch the expanse between his shoulder blades, my hand sliding beneath his braid."You were very patient."
His chin dipped down."I was not certain you would ever forgive me.I still don't think I deserve your generosity of spirit.I do not wish for you to think I was… biding my time, Sashen.I wished to show you, each day, that I would comport myself differently."
"You did," I murmured, pressing a kiss to his temple.I almost added that he'd certainly comported himself differently in the hygiene room while I was sleeping, but I didn't think he'd survive another round of blushing.
* * *
That night, when Araxis and I came back from sword-dancing practice – I'd gotten the best of him three times and he'd looked so stunned and delighted that I'd had to kiss him against the wall a little – flushed with exertion and desire, we found Elethenn waiting in the front room.He stood as we tumbled in and cleared his throat."I wonder if we could speak?"he asked Araxis.
Araxis straightened at once, and I pulled my hands back from where they'd been skating up under his shirt."Of course," he said, and I didn't miss the faint hum of distress that sounded beneath his words before he caught the subvocal and swallowed it back."Did you wish to sit in the meeting room, or –"
"I thought I could make tea."
So we followed Elethenn to the kitchen, where he went through the familiar motions of preparing a tray."Did you want me here for this?"I asked, hesitating in the doorway.Araxis had settled down at the table, certain at least of his place."Or is this private?"
"I wish to speak with your Araxis," said Elethenn, his back toward me."But you are welcome as well, Sashen."
There was something in the air of the kitchen, like the shift in pressure before an airlock vents into the void of space, that made my skin prickle uncomfortably, all warmth and ease from our earlier training replaced with an unpleasant kind of anticipation.So I sat down next to Araxis, folding my forearms around my knees as I watched Elethenn.
Elethenn sat down on the side adjacent to Araxis, after placing the tray with its teapot and three cups on the table."If it is alright," he started, "I would like to start now, even though the tea hasn't been poured.I – I don't wish to lose my nerve."
"We do not stand on formality," said Araxis, head tilted as he studied Elethenn.My stomach twisted into a tight knot.Was heleaving?
I'd feared it right after the meeting with Nizanin.Why would he make that decision now, when we were so close to leaving for Xitera?When everything had been going well?
"I travelled with Inmadra to Core Ward today," said Elethenn, studying the table."She had a former creche-mate she wished to see before we depart Sozamia.As she was speaking with her… friend, I was approached and given a message for you.The Unbound will meet you at the ship in three days' time.I was told specifically that Nizanin expects to speak with you, Araxis.Here, the details."He unzipped a pocket of his jumpsuit and pulled out a scrap of paper, placing it on the table before Araxis.
My chest tightened as I stared at the paper.I'd almost forgotten that we would have to deal with them again.
"Did they treat you appropriately?" asked Araxis, watching Elethenn and ignoring the note.Elethenn pointedly said nothing, and the sharp sound that left Araxis's throat when he realizedthatwas the answer made my pulse jump."Then you have my most sincere apologies.I had anticipated they would speak with me directly."
"Of course they didn't," I said, strained."They'dwantto rattle Elethenn.It's another way of – I don't know, exerting pressure.They know we want Elethenn to be safe, to bewith us, so if they can get to him it's a reminder that we should cooperate."
Elethenn smiled, a sad expression."You are, as always, perceptive."
I shook my head, eyes suddenly stinging."I'mreallynot."
"Hm, I don't know.With antali training, you might have been a competent ward guard.I know you aspire to such authority.You have a great deal of respect and affection for guards."
I stared at him, perplexed, and then Elethenn ducked his head, almost shy.
It was ajoke.And, look, it was a weird time for Elethenn, of all people, to make a joke, but I knew from experience that sometimes humour was the best way to move away from a shitty feeling you didn't want to have.So I swiped at my eyes and laughed, because it was what he needed, and Elethenn looked almost pleased.
"You wished to speak with me.Was it only to share this information?I assume, because there is tea, that there is more conversation to be had," said Araxis, and all at once, Elethenn sobered.
"Yes.I – I understand that a writ has been settled with the Unbound, and I would not wish to demand that you impugn our creche's honour.But –" He hesitated, seemingly fetched up on social convention.
"You are arkathi," said Araxis, firm."It is part of your role to offer your thoughts, even if they differ from my own.Especiallyif they do."
Still, Elethenn seemed to struggle, so Araxis added, tone softer, "I will not be upset if you disagree with me, Elethenn.Creche Thiel is not Creche Hanalthi.I am not your former head of branch."
A soft exhale drifted from Elethenn, almost a resigned sigh, or maybe it was relief.It was hard to tell."Then – Araxis.Surely, aiding the Unbound in whatever it is they seek to do ismoredishonourable than failing to fulfill the writ."His jaw worked for a moment, tense, before he continued."I understand that they have information that could harm you.Isn't there another way through?"
