"Yes, I agree."He reached and pinched the bridge of his nose between two long fingers."We will need to accelerate our timeline.We could leave in…" I watched him make the mental calculations, "Three days time, I believe.The ship is finished.We only need to transfer the remainder of the cargo.It is in our warehouse in Ballast Ward, but if we were to bring the ship here –"
"Okay, but wait," I said."Just – There are Creche Naival people who have permission to try andkillyou?What about everyone else?"
"A writ of propitiation is for the head of house only," said Vivith."Although if Araxis were to be killed and there was not another suitable head of house available –"
"It would be the end of Creche Thiel," murmured Araxis, every line of his body drawn tight."I should not be so surprised it has come to this.The Concord has been trying to ruin us since we first submitted our petition.The media coverage and the gossip, the claims about the manor –"
"Yes," intoned Vivith, "and we have not been aided by certain choices."
I bit the inside of my cheek, dropping my stare as my heart thudded against my chest.They were right.If I'd realized – If I'd known –
I had come here to help, but in the end, I'd just made everything worse.
"Vivith," Araxis said, voice low.
"Yes, Iknow," snapped Vivith."And Istillbelieve that there is information about Creche Thiel that is in circulation in a suspect manner.I know you believe that they are unfounded rumours, but I would continue to suggest that either you are under surveillance of the highest possible calibre or there is sensitive information being shared from within the creche."
I fought to keep my face perfectly blank.Therewasinformation coming from inside of the creche, but what I was sharing with Valerie wasn't anything dangerous or bad; it was just homework and some meeting notes.I certainly wasn't at the source of the rumours about my relationship with Araxis.
Araxis sat very still, but a little pulse of tension in his jaw pulled my attention directly to him."Hm.And do these rumours say that I forced Sashen to declare for me, or is that something only the Unbound whisper about?I wonder: how many others have you told, Vivith, in what I must presume is a play for control?"
It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.Even I felt unsteady, hearing it put so plainly, like one of my lungs had been punctured.
"I'll pour the tea," Araxis said, seemingly unbothered.He stretched out and poured elegantly into the three waiting cups, setting one in front of me first before sliding one across the table to Vivith, who had gone bone white and washed out, the contrast made all the more stark given the oil-dark smudge of their crest.
"There is no evidence to support the claim," Vivith said finally, their voice raspy."And giving them somethingtrueand ultimatelyuselesswas beneficial to our – toyourcause.I made certain there was no evidence, Araxis.It was gone before the Tournament began; it had to be.You know this."
He blinked placidly."I know what you have told me, yes."
"Say what you will about my headstrong nature," Vivith continued, "but you cannot fault my dedication to seeing this creche reach its rightful station once again.This information would harm all of us.It is why Nizanin accepted it in exchange for applying pressure in the Assembly.You asked for me to test the waters; I did, and I found them agreeable.I did exactly as you asked.I –Araxis, I am not playing for control.I am doing as you have directed me to do.I am doing what I must for the creche."
"And what of your dedication to me?It is yourplace, Vivith, to defer to my judgment.It is yourplaceto cede to my leadership.It isnotyour place to make unilateral decisions that seem to only ever compromisemyintegrity,myposition,myhonour.This would not harm Creche Thiel; it would harmonly me.Do not think I fail to grasp the politics, Vivith."
"You do fail to grasp them!You're being afool, Araxis!And we cannot afford yourfoolishness!It is your ego, yet again–"
At which point the argument slipped into abayan that was so heated and fast-paced that I didn't stand a chance of keeping up.I pulled my cup closer, lifting it to take a sip.It was over-steeped, but it gave me something to focus on while the cascade of furious rapid-fire abayan washed over me, each syllable like a needle jabbed into deep tissue.
Araxis slammed his hands on the table, the teapot clattering and I flinched despite myself.Vivith fell to silence, their body curled forward as they leaned partway across the table, hand hovering in mid-air where they'd been about to snap their sharp talons at Araxis, as if he were a child.Vivith blinked, looking at their own hand, and they yanked it back to their lap while Araxis heaved in a hard, deep breath; I could hear the flex of his crest next to me, although it was braided.
He wasfurious, and he needed to be in control.He needed torememberthat he was in control.I let my fingers tap idly on the surface of the table, pointedly, and his stare immediately dropped down, caught on my fingers as they drummed against the lustrous surface where I'd fucked him, in this room where he had real power.Where he hadme– eager, willing, all his.
Araxis blinked once, slow.I watched him as he visibly steadied himself.One hand fell to mine, and he squeezed my fingers hard within his grip, hard enough to hurt – but he could grasp my hand all night if that's what he needed."You made a petition, Vivith," he said, tone even but brittle, like a shard of glass."You have not completed your atonement.You have not demonstrated the change required in order for you to retain your position within the creche.Tell me in your own words, then: why are you here?I believe I understand, but I would hear it from you."
I watched Vivith inhale and hold that breath.I watched them exhale it.They were struggling for composure too.
Finally, Vivith said, “I am here so that I might help.If you were killed, Araxis, Creche Thiel would be finished; this is not – I am notanglingto remove you from your position.I am desperately trying to assure we stillexist.I understand that I am not yet...comporting myself in the way that our head of house expects.I am willing to suffer the indignity of being crechelesswithina creche in order to serve Creche Thiel.You have a soft soul, Araxis; you have readily accepted new creche-mates without proper vetting.Allow me to look into them before we bring them with us to Xitera.Allow me to do what it is that I do best.I can find any misdeeds or hidden affiliations.I can find their secret weaknesses so that you might fully understand what it is that you bring into our home.What if one of them awaits the order from Creche Naival?What if they strike where you are most vulnerable?What if – if they have already tried?”
Again, their dark stare flicked to me for a bare moment, our eyes locking.I felt something curdle deep in my stomach, unpleasant and sour.
"You think one of our creche-mates arranged the attack on Sashen," Araxis said, low."They were not yet our creche-mates, Vivith."
"Either that or – or they may be affiliated with the Unbound or any other faction from Xitera," Vivith tried."Regardless, we cannot know, but you are better served by having meinthe creche than away from it.Araxis, you know this: I have many skills that would be useful, even in the interim.You might send me away again once we are in Xitera so that I can atone properly.But it would be foolish to send me away now."
Araxis shifted his hand, just slightly, his thumb moving against my skin.“And what do you think, Sashen?”he asked, turning so that he was facing me directly.It was a way to cut Vivith out of the conversation, and I could see, out of the corner of my eye, the simmering resentment on their stiff features.
Did I think it would be a great idea for Vivith to start rooting around in everyone’s past, looking for, what, spies?Informants?Secret assassins?Given what they might turn up about me, not particularly, but there was a problem that struck me as more profound.
"I don't like how they spoke to Elethenn," I said carefully."And Thodin's sensitive too.They're here, all of our new creche-mates, because Creche Thiel offers them a home – and if Vivith starts digging around in their past and isn't… mindful about what they've been through…"
