I nudged the closet door with my hip and then threw myself at the crate where I'd shoved my meagre collection of belongings.I heaved open the lid, thrusting my hands inside.Two months ago, they'd have been shaking – but not now.I knew what I had to do.
In a way, it was fortunate that I'd never owned many things.It meant that it only took about a breath for my hands to fasten around my swords.Distantly, I was aware of the sound of footsteps approaching the closet door.I rose to my feet, yanking my blades free and pivoting.A short inhale slipped past my lips as my eyes blinked shut for a heartbeat.
Inside of me, there was a cage.I'd built it myself, bar by bar; I knew well its dimensions, its darkest corners, just as I knew the beast that lived inside.I'd been feeding the thing inside of me here on Sozamia Station, but in truth I'd probably been nurturing it in the years and years beforehand too.The moment expanded around me as I let the lock fall away with a gentle internal click.The leash in my hand, beaded with delicate pearls and edged in bloodied lace, gave a firm tug and I just let it go.
This was what the wolf was for.
The footsteps hesitated.I didn't.I surged forward, shouldered my way through the door and into the room beyond where Rodil was standing, looking irritated, their blaster held loosely in one hand.
And sure, you might think that in a fight between someone with swords and someone with a gun, no one with a couple of pretty blades is going to come out on top.Especiallyno one who had been known for doing not much more than dancing around with those swords, and who hadn't even used them except to cut some bushes in the Galactic Tournament of Superiority.But I wasn't the same Sashen who'd stumbled out onto those sands.
I was faster, I was stronger, and I wasmeaner.And right then and there, I wanted nothing so badly as to murder the abaya standing in front of me.I wanted it like a black hole wants to devour everything around it.I wanted it in every shadowy corner of my soul – and I would have it.
Rodil had enough time to blink once in surprise.The weight of the hilts in my hands felt like coming home.I leapt and swung one blade in a violent, upward arc.
I'd wondered idly before how hard I'd have to hit someone to cleave through bone.I found out.The blade caught Rodil's arm near the elbow, a gout of blood sputtering into the air as I slammed forward with the second blade, thrusting hard into the centre of their miserable chest and Itwisted.They barely had time to cry out before I yanked my blade backward, leaving a gaping hole punched through their sternum as they collapsed, silver blood soaking through the carpet underfoot.
A burst of concussive energy slammed into me from the back, then another, and I staggered, one hand convulsing, my blade falling to the ground.I whirled, clocked that it was Crozani standing in the door to the meeting room, her blaster drawn before another explosion of energy kicked off, my vision going white-hot as this hit caught me in the shoulder and knocked me backwards.I stumbled, half-collapsing against the edge of our bed as I fell to my knees.
Fuck.My eyes teared up at the crackle of energy ripping through my body, ears ringing and ringing and ringing.It was like my chest had been hit by a shuttle, and I gasped for air, breathless.The whine clarified into a thin voice."– a little menace, aren't you?Do not think you are so very special that I won't kill you, Sashen of Creche Thiel.I suspect you area great deal of bother."
I wheezed out a laugh – Iknewthat phrase – as my arm braced hard against the side of our bed, muscles twitching of their own accord while pain juddered through each of my nerve endings."Yeah, I know," I gasped."I'm a real pain in the ass.I'm probably not even worth it.Under-ripe fruit, right?But –" I wrenched my stare upwards, glaring at Crozani across the bedroom, "Ablaster, really?Not going to use your sword?Maybe you don't even knowhowto use it."Then, licking my lower lip, still wheezing and hoping against hope to throw her off-balance, I added, "Araxis certainly knows how to use his."
She let out a little hiss."Youarecrude, aren't you?You do not deserve the honour of death by blade, virra.You mistake your place."
I scoffed and shook my head, studying Crozani across the space of the bedroom I shared with Araxis, Rodil's corpse pooling out blood in a great silver gout.My hands had spasmed so hard from the blast that I'd dropped my other sword, but it was close, just near the stump of Rodil's flaccid arm.
Crozani saw me notice."Do not," she said, sounding almost bored.The muzzle of her blaster was trained directly on me, unflinching."Killing you like this would be a waste.You wish the child to be safe?Thendefer, virra.If I must kill you, I will proceed to the child next.They are worth nothing to me, and when your Araxis comes here to negotiate, I will kill him as well.Do you think he will weep when he sees your corpse?When he holds the child's?Would you like that horror to be what occupies his final moments, or would you wish for him to die knowing that histreasureis safe?"
And, look, I had to give her credit: it was an argument that should have worked, and she showed a lot more restraint than others would have in the same circumstance.It's just that she had discounted entirely that I wasn't here alone, despite what she thought.
I saw the flash of shadow in the meeting room and I let a cascade of words bubble up inside of me, desperate."Okay, okay, you're right, you win.I'm sorry, I'll defer – whatever you need me to say or do, Iwill,I promise.Please –"
I like to think that it was the pleasure of having me beg that distracted her in that final moment.I like to think it was her over-confidence that played against her as she watched me pleading, her features flushing with smug satisfaction.Because, with her dark eyes trained fully on me, her shoulders angled forward, her stare hungry, she didn't feel the shift in the air behind her or hear the soft step against the wood floor.She didn't notice anything at all until Elethenn surged up and in one vicious, confident motion, snapped Crozani's neck, her body falling limp to the floor in front of him.
I wheezed out a sound that might have been a grim laugh, even as my skin still crawled with the buzzing remnants of blaster fire, my chest aching.I pushed myself to my unsteady feet and staggered, my body still not fully under my control; distantly, I was aware that the muscles of my shoulder were pulsing with red and ragged pain, and I was pretty sure from the sharp ache in my side that I'd torn my stab wound open too – but I couldn't think too much about that.I didn't have time.
"Give me my wristband."I moved forward, skirting Rodil's corpse, stepping over Crozani's, my hand extended as Elethenn stared at the violence that had been done here."Elethenn," I said, sharpening my tone.
He gave his head a tiny shake, and then Elethenn pulled it from a pocket and placed it in my hand.I called Araxis immediately."Sashen –" he started the moment the call went through, his face hovering above my wrist, eyes pinched as a razor-sharp subvocal whined through the speakers of my wristband.
"I'm okay," I said, fast."I've got Talvi and I've –"
I hesitated, looking at Elethenn, who had stepped back firmly against the wall of our bedroom, hands folded behind his back, head tilted downward, his arms trembling.A submissive posture.
"I've got Elethenn," I finished."Rodil's dead and – fuck, Crozani of Creche Naival was here, and she's fucking dead too.But I got it all on audio.I recorded it all.Went full conglomerate on them.I thought – I thought we'd need that, right?"
"Sashen," repeated Araxis, firm."Beloved.Stay where you are.I will come to you with a transport.But it may take me a few minutes once I arrive in the ward.I do not trust the guards; I'm doing my best to avoid raising attention."
I nodded, threading through the meeting room and into the hallway toward the kitchen – I'd deal with Elethenn later – so I could check on Talvi, who I found happily eating some snacks Elethenn must have dug out."Is there anything I need to get while I'm here?"
"We can replace anything.And I am certain we can arrange for anything left behind to be sent to us in Xitera.What cannot be replaced isyou, Sashen.Be ready to move when I give word and then we'll determine what to do next."A ragged sound escaped his throat as he looked at me, the skin around his eyes tight."At some point, we will need to discuss your tendency to throw yourself into peril when I can'tgetto you."
I pulled up short, looking at the projection of his perfect face."You can scold me as much as you want once we're all back on our ship," I said, my chest warm in a way that had nothing to do with being shot a couple of times."But I'll always put myself on the line for you and the people I love."His expression softened, and I blew him a kiss and promised I'd see him soon before ending the call.
I paused long enough to pull Talvi into a tight hug until they squirmed, restless, against me, and then I kissed their forehead."You wait here," I said."I've got to talk to Elethenn before our Araxis comes and picks us up."
Talvi nodded sagely, wiggling out from under my hands."You smell like blood," they said, nostrils flaring.
