Rodil had chosen the path of being difficult and non-compliant, and while I support everyone's right to be prickly, did it have to be when I needed to deal with deep tissue bruising and some ribs I'd maybe accidentally cracked?Their unwillingness to fix everything I’d fucked up made the meeting with Creche Bathel particularly miserable because I had to sit prettily and make sure I didn't wince when I shifted, all while the representatives chortled with delight any time I said anything, as if I were a dog who'd been taught a particularly impressive trick.The meeting had been a net gain, at least: Araxis and Inmadra managed to talk them around toanothermeeting with their head of house once we reached Xitera, as well as a tour of one of their mines on a planet pretty close to Thelessia.
As Araxis and I stepped into our bedroom after the meeting, he carefully cleared his throat, tucking his hands behind his back – which meant he was winding up for something.I shot him a pointed look over my shoulder as I tugged off the tight underlayer I'd had in place.
"Don't," I said at his little intake of breath when he saw the array of bruises blossoming over my torso."I pay a lot for these bruises."
"Sashen –" he started, eyes pinched.
"Iknow," I continued, "it looks scary if you're not fully accustomed to human physiology, but Tam used to train with humans all the time when he was a pit fighter.I'm fine; it just looks dramatic."I stepped out of the rest of my clothes and tugged on a robe, the silken fabric cool against my skin.
Araxis's mouth flattened as he followed me toward the hygiene room.I was going to sit in someveryhot water until everything stopped aching so much."You were in pain for the entire meeting," Araxis tried."That is notfine, Sashen."
I shrugged, one shoulder of the robe slipping free."Well, maybe you could tell Rodil to stop being so abayan about treating my injuries, otherwise I'll have to find a clinic where they'll inject me with as many chemicals as I'd like."
I wrenched on the tap of the bath, Araxis silent behind me.Finally, he said, "Yes, I will speak with them.But – perhaps we should hold off on resuming sword-dancing for the time being."
Something panged in my chest, a sudden ache.I glanced back at Araxis, who was standing carefully in the doorway and radiating uncertainty despite the way he'd squared his shoulders and folded his hands behind him.I'd been looking forward to sword-dancing.
Besides, I wasfine.The last thing I needed, or wanted, was for Araxis to decide he knew what was best for me.
In fact, hadn't that been the whole problem?
"Trust me to know my own limits," I said, cranking the water hotter.A panel on the wall chimed in warning, but it wasn't set for human bodies; I'd learned that after my first tepid bath, which had felt so incredibly wasteful – to use that much water and then drain it away?– that I'd sat in lukewarm water for so long I'd started to shiver.
"I do," Araxis insisted, although he didn't.At least he believed it, even if I knew better."Then – tomorrow morning, as we'd planned?I can walk the children to school with you.The space I've reserved is nearby."
I nodded.Araxis went to leave but, maybe because I was feeling a little raw and tender and defensive about it all, I added, "It reallyishelpful, what I'm doing.We went over everything that happened in the alleyway, beat by beat.We ran through it again and again and again, so I'd know what to do differently.So I could do better.I think – I think if it happened again, I could have handled it on my own."
When Araxis looked back at me, his eyes were like liquid ink, a gleaming abyss."Hm."
"You can ask Elethenn," I continued, steam pluming up from the bath behind me, my heart pattering a little unsteadily in my throat for a reason I didn't understand."If you don't believe me."
"I do not need to ask Elethenn.I'm only glad you find your training helpful."Araxis watched me for another moment, weighing something, and then ducked his head."I'll leave you to it.I – I'm meeting Vivith elsewhere on station.I'm not certain how long I will be."
I trailed my fingers through the water, which was hot enough that I knew slipping in would hurt – but in a good way."Just let me know," I said, looking away."I can always meet you at the museum if you're running late."
He nodded, and left me on my own to soak away the last of the aches and pains, pretending that it was the residual hurt from training that had left my chest so tight and uncomfortable.
* * *
He was running late.
That was fine: it wasn't like I couldn't handle a museum exhibit opening on my own.I finished fussing with my appearance in the mirror – I knew broadcasters would be there, so I'd tried to borrow a thing or two I'd learned from the Tournament about how to look good on camera – and then shrugged on the final, gauzy layer of the top I'd picked up in Radiant Ward, fussing with the additional fabric that rippled down the front and assuring that the collar I slipped on covered my bare neck before heading to the front door.
Where Thodin was waiting.At my look, he ducked his head."Our Araxis asked if I would walk with you," he murmured, shoulders tight as if flinching from a blow he expected to come.
Fuck, what did abayadoto skoshas?
I couldn't stand to see him so miserable, so I turned on my sunniest smile and beamed at him."Great," I said."I'd like the company."
I heard the tumble of little bodies in one of the reception rooms, the smaller one the children had claimed and where they liked to spend their evenings watching some of the documentaries I'd compiled for them.The panel door wrenched open as Talvi rushed out, coming to a screeching halt at my side."Sashen," they said seriously."Our Araxis said you're going to a party."
I looked up from where I was crouched, lacing up the pale boots Val had sent me –not for fighting on the sands, she stipulated,but for occasions that require fancy boots!– that did, in fact, match my new top beautifully.They were even nicer than Rodil's.I finished looping off the last tie as Talvi blinked at me expectantly.Oh, they were waiting on a response.
"Yup," I said, straightening."My friend Zirric of Creche Athal is going to be there.And our Thodin is walking with me."
"And our Araxis will be there?"Talvi shoved their hands into the pocket on the front of their sweater, which snapped shut although the snap was never, any time I'd seen them in it, actually closed.
"He will be," I said, watching as they fished around in their pocket.I'd seen them pull all sorts of things from that pouch: from candies to pencils to once, memorably, a live insect with a thousand little legs that they'd merrily pronounced they were saving for a snack while it had scuttled about on their hand.
