Quarters clink against the metal, falling in a rush, and Hazel squeals with delight. It’s only after the fifth consecutive time she wins that she twists her neck to look up at me, her light brown eyes narrowed. “Flynn Fletcher did you rig this machine?” she whispers.
I go for the innocent look, raising my eyebrows. “That depends, when does the statute of limitations run out for crimes committed as a minor?”
Hazel’s jaw drops and my lips twitch in amusement. She’s so damn cute when she’s outraged.
“I’m not taking that money,” she declares, pointing at the tray filled with quarters.
“Fine.” I roll my eyes and scoop the cash into our tub. I turn to the nearest kid and pass him the money.
“Woah, thanks man!”
When I turn back to Hazel, she’s looking at me in a way I can’t quite decipher, the barest hint of a smile on her lips. “What?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Nothing.”
Part of me, the part that wants to see inside her mind and know absolutely everything there is to know about my Little Lilac, doesn’t want to let it go. But she looks happy and relaxed, and I don’t want to ruin that, so I decide to let her keep her thoughts for now.
I take her to the food stand and order a side of fries and two milkshakes then I lead her onto the outside section of the pier, slipping us around the corner and out of sight. I stop us by a ladder and pass the fries and my milkshake over to Hazel. “Hold these for a second?”
“Why?” Hazel asks, wariness drawing out the word. But she takes my cup and I balance the fries on top. Then I turn around and climb the ladder.
“Flynn,” Hazel hisses which just makes me smile.
I finish climbing up onto the lower section of the roof then get onto my stomach and reach down. “Pass me the food.”
Hazel glares up at me, checking either side to make sure no one’s watching before holding up the fries. I take the food and drinks and place them on the higher section of the roof before looking back down at Hazel.
“You coming?”
“Up there?”
I smile wider and Hazel just huffs as she climbs the ladder. Once she’s made it up, I give her a boost onto the top section of the roof and then launch myself up.
I dust my hands off and when I look up, Hazel’s caught in wonder, gazing out at the sea.
“Hope used to call it the best view in the city. Better than even the space needle.”
Hazel nods, still a little dazed at the way the sun catches off the Ferris wheel, sparkling rays arching out over the sea like rainbows. “She was right.”
I bring our food over and we sit down, our legs hanging off the edge of the roof. The breeze catches Hazel’s hair and for the first time since Hope died my fingers itch for my camera.
We eat in quiet for a while, our hands brushing when we reach for the fries. It’s so calm and easy, Hazel admiring the view and me just enjoying the feeling of knowing I’m somewhere Ishouldn’t be. It’s always been like that for me, breaking rules just provides this release that makes it easier to breathe.
Once we’ve finished the fries, Hazel peers at me over her milkshake. “Did Hope know that you’re… different?”
I don’t think you don’t feel things, Flynny. I just think sometimes your emotions are harder to reach.
“Yes. She was the only person who really understood how my mind works.”
“How does it work?”
I put down my shake and lean back on my hands, trying to find the words to describe it. “Some emotions come easy. Anger, happiness. I feel them but fleetingly. It’s the social emotions that are a little trickier. Guilt, empathy, shame.”
Hazel fiddles with her straw, eyes downcast on her shake. “What about love?”
Electricity zaps through my body. I take the cup out of her hands and pull her legs over mine. “It may look a little different, but yes, Lilac, I can love.”
She rests her head on my shoulder, and a shudder rolls down my spine.
