“You are, Copeland.You’re just as much a part of this as I am, and you can cuss her, say whatever you’re feeling.”
Her words crack something open in my chest.I swallow, my throat tight.If I don’t choose my words carefully, they’ll come out too big, too raw to survive the air between us.
“I feel love, Ells.So much love for you, and for our baby.”My voice shakes, and I don’t bother trying to steady it.I splay my hand across her abdomen.It’s warm and solid beneath my palm, impossibly real.She’s not showing, but there’s a piece of me—a piece of us—and our love growing inside her.“I feel like I can breathe for the first time in years.”
It’s strange, realizing how long I’ve been living on standby.Through the pain of missing her, of not having her in my life.Being with her now is a gift, one I’ve wanted for so damn long but had thought our time had passed.
“I’m terrified,” I admit quietly, because if we’re doing this honestly, then all of it deserves to be said.“Of messing it up.Of not being enough.Of losing you again.Both of you.But even that fear feels like a promise.It doesn’t crush me.It just reminds me how much I care.It reminds me of how much more I have to lose this time around.I got my family, you and our baby, and I can’t lose that.I won’t survive it.”
I let out a soft laugh.“I feel like I’m finally standing exactly where I’m supposed to be.I longed for you for so long, and started to wonder if I made it all up in my head, and then I came back to town, and one look at you, and every feeling, every moment I remember was real.”
I lean closer, my forehead resting against her thigh.Being close to her grounds me.Finally, I look up, meeting her blue eyes.“I’m here,” I say, meaning it in every way possible.“With you.With our babies.You and our kids will never go a day without knowing what you mean to me.”
“Babies?Copeland James, are you trying to wish twins on me?”she asks, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
I smile, the heaviness of the moment lifting.“I could get behind some twins, but yeah, whether we have them one at a time or multiple at a time, I see babies in our future, Ells.”
“I want that, too.”Her smile is watery.
I stand to my full height and offer her my hand.She takes it and allows me to help her to her feet.“Let’s go.We don’t want to be late for our appointment.”
“Technically, it’smyappointment,” she teases, grabbing her phone from her desk and dropping it into her purse.
“And you’re my wife, and that’s my baby in your belly, so it’sourappointment.”
“Is that how it works?”she asks, blue eyes bright as she smiles up at me.
“That’s how it works with us.If other men don’t know how good they have it, and don’t think that way, I feel sorry for them.”
“You’re one of a kind, Copeland James.”
“Right back at ya, Mrs.James.”
“Not yet,” she singsongs, stepping out of her office and leaving me to trail behind her.
“Close enough,” I say, catching up with her and entwining our fingers.
“Let’s go out the back.I didn’t tell my sisters.”
“Are we going to tell people?”I ask her, as I push the door open for us, leading her to the truck.
“Let’s see what the doctor says.There’s a part of me that wants to wait.They say twelve weeks, and I don’t know how far along I am yet.I think they’ll do bloodwork today to confirm.”
“We know when it happened.I remember that day vividly,” I tell her.
She blushes.“I know, but let’s just take it one step at a time.”
“You got it, babe.”I kiss her before opening the truck door and making sure she’s buckled in.I’m ready for whatever life tosses at us, as long as at the end of every day, this woman is sleeping in my arms.
Ellison is sitting on the exam table in her white gown, and her legs are bouncing.The rough paper of the gown makes a swishing sound in the room with each jostle of her legs.I’m sitting, so I stand and go to her, offering her my hand, and she instantly calms.
“Why are you so nervous?”
“What if the tests we took were wrong?”
“Then we keep trying.”
“What if something’s wrong?”
