My glance at Cirrian’s smirk confirmed that he was thoroughly entertained. I glared; his smirk darkened. He shook his head and brought a finger to his lips.
As if I’d even consider letting the houses know they were providing an abundance of entertainment for an irritating shadow god. All the assistance he’d provided to get me to this point felt insufficient for the trade-off of having him glimmering in and out of my life.
Once she’d confirmed Darby’s return to the vehicle, Corrine turned to me. “I’m sorry, Kara. I’ve offered you a solution. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Someone change me to a vampire,” I blurted. The words fumbled out in such a rush they were barely intelligible. I repeated it more slowly, looking at each one of them, allowing my gaze to drift in Cirrian’s direction. He glared at me, running his hand through his hair so roughly I expected strands of it to flutter to the floor. Only able to send furtive looks at him, I got glimpses of his response. It seemed like he was ready to reveal his presence.
“I…” My voice faltered as I considered retracting my words. The weight of the situation threatened to crush me. The repercussions of such a decision rushed in, making the words stick. But Amelia’s face flashed in my mind, pale and still, and memories of her desperate pleas for her mom to save my lifewhen I was dying and the numerous times as a child she told her father I was her sister who lived in a different home, which led him to taking me into theirs. I had to do everything in my power to save her; I couldn’t live with the regret of ignoring any option.
“I want to be changed into a vampire,” I asserted without a hint of hesitation.
“Kara, dear.” William’s drawl was a full statement in itself. Vampires didn’t have magic. If I was turned, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to use the Syphr. Despite wanting to leave Amelia’s coven out of this, I’d have to involve it. At the very least, Rachel.
Amelia would live. Amelia would find a way for me to live—complete the oath and keep my life. It was still a foolish and irrational request, but it lingered in the ether for the vampires like a harbinger.
“Kara,” William repeated, sounding worried. Clearly, I must have seemed unwell and unreasonable. My panicked expression was veering between them and periodic glares at the wall.
Cirrian moved closer, I assumed to prevent me looking peculiar. When he sidled next to me, I had the difficult task of acting normal while his rough, irritated voice said, “After all this, you’ve conceded this easily. Well, at least you may save Amelia.”
Voicing what I suspected all along. He didn’t believe I was going to succeed. I started pacing the room, to get away from him and wait for their verdict.
Corrine and Belham seemed to be considering my request with varying degrees of shock and concern. William had migrated closer to the door. The silence stretched, thick and uncomfortable, until William finally broke it.
“Kara, you can’t be serious.” His tone was low and strained. “Becoming a vampire… It’s not a decision to be made so flippantly. You’d lose the abilities you do have, and life as you know it wouldn’t be the same. It’s an idyllic fallacy that love conquers all and true friendships are unbreakable.”
I’d forgotten that William was the more cynical of the duo. His words were a reminder of Amelia’s feelings about vampires. Often disguising her disdain with humor, it was still apparent she found vampires abhorrent.
“I know the risks,” I declared, my voice steadier and more assertive than I felt. “But I also know what’s at stake. Amelia’s life is worth it.”
Corrine stepped forward, regarding me through slitted eyes. “And what of your life? This job? You’d throw it all away on a gamble?”
There was absolutely no way I’d be able to keep my job as a liaison, and I’d be obligated to join the house of the one who turned me. Uncertainty settled in me. My knowledge of the houses made me an asset to the one who turned me and a liability to the other. Their concern felt dubious and foreboding, as if they knew there was a tragic ending at play.
I’d save Amelia and lose my humanity. Eventually, my life. I was convinced it was one decision they’d agree upon quickly.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Cirrian’s brew of incredulity and frustration rising. His presence served as a reminder of all I stood to lose.
William cleared his throat. “Even if we agreed to this madness, which of us would turn you? You are aware that creating a vampire forges a bond that can’t be easily broken.”
If my destiny was questionable before, the hint of warning in his voice and narrowed eyes confirmed my speculations. This situation was a mess. It was more than just a choice; it was me declaring a house preference.
A suffocating silence consumed the room, and the implications of his words sank in. Cirrian leaned in close, his breath tickling my ear as he whispered, “Choose wisely, Kara. It seems like you are positioning to win the battle, but the war will be lost.”
I wanted so desperately to remind him that he was losing his best chance to release the lycans as well. My expression must have betrayed my thought. Annoyance hardened his features, but it quickly settled into something more resigned.
Swallowing hard, my eyes darted between William and Corrine.
Corrine held her fierce look of condemnation, chastising me for rejecting her suggestion, which she believed was the soundest option. William’s eyes were intense as they looked at me. Sympathy softened them. He ran his hand over his jaw several times. I thought his affection for me would work in my favor, but I was wrong. He shook his head and walked toward the door.
“William?”
“Your humanity is what I adore the most about you, Kara. I can’t be the one to take it from you.” His declination was also an implied rejection from Belham.
“Please.”
He stopped, turned to look at me. Considering eyes stayed on me for a long time, but the change in his position never came. He lingered, I suspected, to hear Corrine’s answer. Corrine turned to face me, her expression unreadable. This was one of the rare occasions where her eyes were so expressive, no words needed to be spoken.
“Corrine, I need you,” I said, clasping her hand in mine.
