She left me alone in the living room.
I left her alone at the house.
I walked for 15 minutes to get to the town’s main street.Hands buried in my pockets.Jaw tight.My brain was asking questions.My anger wasn’t subsiding.I felt like screaming.Frustrated.Confused.Desperate.
I saw my destination on the horizon: CIC’s pink flowers covering the wall by the gate.
When I got there, I asked if Ella was around.But no one had seen her.
I stepped outside again.My thoughts kept looping back to the fight, to the things my mother didn’t say, to the way she walked away, to my stepfather standing there, delivering a different version of events.
I needed to talk to Ella.She would say something I probably needed to hear.She wouldn’t walk away.She wouldstay.
My leg bounced as I stood by the entrance, scanning the street like she might appear if I wanted it badly enough.
But she didn’t.
I wandered through the streets with no real direction.After a while, I passed the Village Oven and slowed down.I spotted Ella just as she was stepping outside, laughing as she waved goodbye to a group from our school, the ones she got along with but only ever spent time with during or between classes, never outside of them.The “popularones”, I heard a girl call them that the other day.The ones who thrived on being talked about, who seemed to enjoy the whispers and rumors that followed them, wearing them like a badge of importance.
She noticed me on the other side of the road a minute later.A brief smile spread across my face.Perhaps it was relief.
She crossed the street to join me.
“Miles, hey!What are you doing?”
“Just…” I looked around, not sure of what to say.Three seconds ago, I just wanted to find her.But now that I was standing in front of her, my lips were sealed, not certain if I wished to dive into it all.“Walking,” I ended up saying.
She tilted her head, trying to decipher me.
“Let’s go sit somewhere,” she said, with her sweet, endearing voice.And I followed her.
It was useless.
If I hadn’t wanted to be seen through, I couldn’t have come searching forher.
We sat on one of the wooden benches along the village’s main street, shaded by a tall tree, beside the church.
“My mom and I had a fight,” I told her, after a moment of silence and Ella’s empathetic eyes.“Ben, my mom’s last boyfriend, the one we lived with back in Wayneth, showed up at our house today.”
Ella looked confused.
“I don’t understand it either,” I said.Ella wasn’t expecting that.Neither was I.It felt like my anger was a liquid, always trembling on the edge of spilling over.“And it’s hopeless talking to my mother.Talkingisn’t even the right term, since she has barely said a word to me.”
“And your mom is still dating that Mr.Gaston?”she asked, and I nodded.“Do you think she ran away from your stepfather because of this man?”Ella wondered aloud, trying to make sense of the nonsense too.
I shook my head.It was more complex than that.“They were in love back then.She came to Evermere crushed.She didn’t meet Gaston until four months ago.”
“Hm…” Ella sat there next to me, reflecting on it or simply keeping me company.“What are you feeling?”she asked after a few moments.
I had never talked to her about Ben.She didn’t know much about how I felt about him.I’d told her it was hard for my mom to leave him, at least that was what I thought, but I never told Ella how hard it was forme.
Ella had already met Gaston.We exchanged glances while he bragged about his tailored high-quality blazer.She shared my opinion of him, though she expressed it a little less aggressively, she could never be aggressive toward or about anyone.A few weeks ago, my mom had made a comment about the three of us living together one day.I couldn’t swallow that idea.
“I think I feel frustrated.”
It was difficult seeing Ben drive away, knowing he wouldn’t return.It was frustrating to talk to my mom and watch her walk away.
“I’m sure your mom had her reasons,” she said, trying to lighten things.But this time, that didn’t calm me.Everything had already gotten on my nerves.“I didn’t know Ben, but maybe Gaston is more suitable for her,” she guessed.
