Doctor Levi approaches me to thank me for being here, and I can’t even explain to her how many hours I’ve spent studying her words, how closely I’ve followed her work.We get carried away in a conversation I can hardly believe I’m having with such a brilliant mind.Doctor Levi has played a major role in research on the vagus nerve — a crucial component of the parasympathetic nervous system — and we’re both deeply interested in its role in mental health, inflammation, and the brain–gut connection.
Isn’t it interesting that you can activate the vagus nerve to help reduce stress and improve overall health without relying on medication?
After a while, I start saying my goodbyes to the last people who I carry conversations with.The girl in the coatroom smiles at me as she offers me my coat, I take it, and leave through the hotel’s revolving door, not knowing what I’ll be doing for the rest of the evening.I just feel proud of myself.There’s a relief in how today unfolded, a happiness in being here, even a touch of euphoria.I grab my phone, and now my whole self agrees to call Miles.
I don’t know where he went, I don’t know if he’s busy, I don’t know how his life is, really.And yet, here I am, with my phone pressed against my ear, still calling his number in hope.
“Hey!”He answers on the third ring, his familiar voice warm and smooth.I can instantly sense his smile in it.And I decide it, right then and there: That’s what I’ll be doing for the rest of the evening.Enjoying the coincidence of crossing paths with this dear old friend.Sharing this happiness with him.
We agreed to meet at a Christmas Market around 9 p.m., as Miles had a deadline to meet for an unfinished job.It gave me some time to update everyone on how today went.I called my dad right away, and my sister after him, who was at our mom’s house and put my call on speaker for the whole family to hear.
Then, I called Miss Amara.It was late for her, but she picked up.I had asked nurse Raquel to show her the live-stream of the conference, and Miss Amara did watch it.Her words were slow, but she repetitively said she was proud of me.I told her I found Miles in New York and that we both terribly miss her.She sounded relieved and emotional when she said: “That makes me so happy.”
Bill was my fourth call, but it rang and rang and no one answered on the other end.He’s probably having a busy day too.I try not to think too much about it and text my girls Philia and Cara a simple:Loving New York city!Today went great!Can’t wait to tell you girls.
Their replies distract me until I hear Miles’s voice.
“Smiling at your phone?”he teases me.And I could tell him that it’s just my best friends’ group chat, but that it actually could be myfiancé, indeed.But I don’t know why, I don’t.I don’t tell him.I don’t even react.I freeze, thinking how to say it to him.
“I’m just messing with you,” he adds carelessly.“Are you hungry?”
“I… am…” I say absentmindedly, still caught up in my thoughts.
“You do seem to need food,” he states.“I finished earlier, all ready to send to the director tomorrow!”He’s cheerful.“C’mon, I can’t wait to show you the giant Christmas sandwiches they sell here!”
I can’t help but smile in reaction to his upbeat mood.
He points at a stall inside the market.“Let’s go, you’ll love it.”
I hadn’t had this much fun in a while.
We ate giant melting ham and cheese sandwiches.We drank delicious hot chocolate with cookie straws (super creative and super messy).Santa Claus talked to us, and we were invited to play a game where you had to use baskets to catch sticks falling from the stall’s ceiling, everything happening way too fast.We were terrible at it, neither of us won a prize.
The night is falling, though the center of New York isn’t really a place to see it getting dark.
We walk away from the Christmas market avenue.Our next stop is a food truck to get crêpes, the perfect dessert for the day.
“Thank you!”I say to my warm crêpe, holding it with the tips of my fingers peeking out from my blue fingerless gloves, and a million napkins.“This has been so much fun.”
“This was such a crazy coincidence!”he says, as if only now realizing what had happened.
Is it possible that we are as comfortable and at ease with each other as we were nine years ago?
“So crazy!”he emphasizes.
I laugh.
We laugh.
Laughter.A mending of closeness.
Chapter 44
Miles
December 28th, 2008
Sunday
