A shiver of coolness raced through my body as Ash’s fingers traced the letters against my back. I was surprised when his hands met my skin. His touch felt intimate in a way we’d never been before, but I didn’t mind it at all. If anything, I prayed his fingers would linger.
When he pulled away from me, I lowered my shirt and turned back to face him. His breath stuttered, barely noticeable, but I noticed. I noticed every big and little movement that Ash made when he was around me.
A flicker of disbelief flashed across his eyes. “Your favorite, too?”
I nodded. “My favorite, too.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “It’s funny, you know?”
“What’s that?”
“I never believed in destiny until I met you.”
My cheeks colored as I smiled his way. The feeling was very mutual.
After we finished in his bedroom, we walked into the hallway once more.
There was a room across from his. “What room is this?” I asked as I placed my hand on the doorknob.
“No!” Ash shouted. His hand fell against mine, and he pulled me back.
I raised an eyebrow.
He dropped his hold on me as his expression shifted. “Sorry,” he murmured, looking down at the floor.
I knew exactly what had happened.
“Rian’s room?” I asked softly.
“Yes,” he nodded. “Rian’s room.”
I placed a reassuring touch against his arm. “How about we go downstairs and order some food to eat and find a movie to watch?” I offered.
Ash’s whole body relaxed as he brought his stare back to me. His heavy sorrow began to dissipate as he nodded. “Yeah, that’s great.” He paused and gave me a small smile. “Thanks for understanding, Karla. It’s just...”
“Hard,” I agreed. “I get it. Grief is always hard.”
“And heavy,” he added. “It’s so fucking heavy.”
I took his hand into mine and gave it a slight squeeze for comfort. “Come on. Let’s go back downstairs.”
His stare fell to my hand in his for a moment. “It gets a little easier when you do things like that. Your touches make it a little easier to breathe.”
I smiled at him. He was slowly letting me back into his world.
We shared a meal together and picked out a comedy to watch to ease up the tension of the night. Rolls made sure that he received every cuddle possible as he climbed into my lap for the remainder of the film. Then Ash and I proceeded to keep the conversation light and effortless. I knew he needed easy that night, and I also knew how big a deal it was for him to invite me into his home.
When it was time for me to leave, he walked me to my car and opened the driver’s door for me. His eyes crinkled softly at the corners, filled with warmth as he wrapped me in a hug. “Thanks for coming over tonight, Karla. This meant a lot to me.”
I grinned as I stayed comfortably in his arms. “Thank you for inviting me in.”
***
Even though I loved laughing with Ash, my favorite moments were when we shared intimate and deep conversations. Ash wasn’t one to talk about hard stuff often, so when he did, it felt as if he was letting me into a secret, exclusive club. I always wanted to stay there as long as he allowed it, because I wanted to know the secrets that lived in his brain. Especially the ones that he struggled to talk about.
One night we sat on my rooftop with a bottle of whiskey between us. Ash had had a hard day at work, but he never really talked about the hard days. I could just see the sadness in his eyes when he’d come over after his long shifts.
I never pushed him to talk. I figured he would when he was ready to open up.
