“What? I know I didn’t cause a genetic condition with your eyes.”
“I mean that you’re not responsible for fixing me, either,” he explained.
Right. I needed to let him handle his own problems. I nodded in agreement and he continued.
“What I was saying before, which I don’t think you heard, was that I’ve been talking to the Woodsmen about my future there.”
That was something I’d also given a lot of consideration. A lot of his job depended on his sight: he had to watch the players’ film, view them in action, and read their stats and measurements.How would he do that if his vision deteriorated? “What did you talk about?” I asked.
“They’re looking for a new quality control coach for next year. That’s the lowest level, or near there, on the coaching staff. It doesn’t pay well compared to what the other guys make, but it would be a raise and a move up the ladder for me. It’s a step toward being a position coach.” He explained that the job involved a lot of that film study, preparing reports, developing databases, and other scut work. Things not related to actual contact/coaching of the players, in other words, and all things that involved using his eyes a lot!
“Wow,” I said, concerned. But I had just told him, literally minutes before, that I would take my behavioral cues from him. He was happy so I adjusted my tone. “Wow! That’s a great promotion!”
“I know,” he agreed, smiling. “They said they’ve been happy with my scouting and they think I’d fit in great with the rest of the coaching staff. I’d be on the coaching staff.” His smile grew.
I was still concerned, though. “Are they going to make accommodations—”
“I didn’t ask for any accommodations,” he told me. “I don’t need them.”
I wasn’t going to be cued into something ridiculous. “You do need them,” I stated. “Like, you can’t drive at night at all. I looked up the rules for a Michigan license and even during the daytime, there are definite requirements about your field of vision.”
“I’m not going to let anything hold me back,” Shane said. “I have the opportunity to move onto the coaching staff of the Woodsmen and I can’t jeopardize that.”
“But…” I had just decided that I would let him handle things. It was his life, right? I couldn’t stop myself. “But what if you need help? People do, you know?”
“When did you ever ask for help?”
“I’m living in your house right now,” I pointed out.
“You’re my roommate and you pay rent. That’s a huge help to me, not the other way around. And if you move into your own place, you won’t need me at all.” He held aside another branch. “Let’s keep going. It’s a beautiful day.”
He was correct that it was lovely weather, but he was wrong about other things. Like not needing help? He did! Everyone did, sometimes. He was wrong when he’d said that I was just his roommate, because I was also his friend. And about me not needing him at all…
I trudged along and nearly slid to my death, and he caught me—an example right there of how I required help and companionship. But more specifically, I needed Shane. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he needed me, too.
Chapter 11
“Are you sure that you don’t mind?”
“What?” I pulled my head from beneath the kitchen sink, where I had been scrubbing. “Did you say something?”
“I asked, are you sure you don’t mind? Also, I don’t think that anyone is going to look under there,” Shane told me. “You don’t have to clean it.”
I scooted up to sit, coughing slightly because this cleaning spray was the same one I had used in the bathrooms at Walter’s Café. It was extremely strong and possibly poisonous, but this shit worked. I had always been diligent about doing the bathrooms, tables, floors, and other areas at the restaurant because it was required, like homework, but I hadn’t actually cared very much about the outcome. It had to get done so I did it, without minding how it looked or if others would have been impressed.
Today, I was quite wrapped up in those things. “I don’t expect your mom and dad to stick their heads under our sink,” I assuredhim. But just in case anyone did, we were prepared. I knew how much they worried about him, because we did spend a lot of time together and I saw how much they called and texted. If they knew that our house was neat and clean, they would think, “Wow, he’s doing fine. Everything is so well-kept! We can settle down and stop bothering him so much, because every time we do, we force him to think about his problems and worry. We’re making everything worse although we don’t even realize it.”
Would swiping Q-tips in the grooves of the refrigerator door seal actually help them to see the issues with their behavior? Maybe not, but I had Q-tipped anyway. And it certainly felt good that I was accomplishing things and striking problems off my list. The refrigerator seal was practically sparkling and on top of that, I had also recently removed another concern from my mind and my life: I had decided to stop worrying about my entire family, and it was a real load off my shoulders. Yes sir, I was feeling great! I was no longer concerning myself with any of them, which had been a great choice. Everything was much better now.
Shane held out his hands and pulled me to my feet. “You really don’t have to wash off the p-trap, and I don’t think this is a great time for my parents to visit,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re miserable right now, sad all the time. I should have suggested a different weekend.”
“Are you kidding? This is the only couple of days that you’ve been free in forever. And I’m fine!” I also shook my head, but a lot more vehemently than he had. “I’m not miserable at all. I feel wonderful and I would love to meet your parents, immediately.” I wanted to secretly strategize with them about his life andfuture, if I could manage to get them alone for any length of time.
“Yeah, they’re excited to meet you, too,” he said. “I think you’ll all get along great.”
Later that morning, his mom and dad arrived and I learned that either he was an overconfident optimist or a flat-out liar. No, they didn’t like me at all, not a sliver of liking. I saw it after he picked them up at the airport and drove them back here to show them his home before they went to their hotel.
I had suggested that I could give up my room for their use. “You live here,” he had reminded me. “Of course you don’t have to get out.”
