Chapter Thirty-Seven
CARA
After my conversation with Blair, I replayed all the events to Drea, who only laughed. “Oh, sweetie, we could tell from the first time we saw you two together that it wasn’t fake.”
I felt better, like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but it was still there. That’s why I was going to tell the rest of my friends today. They were all going to be at the bookstore, so it was perfect. I’d asked Drea and Blair not to tell them because I wanted them to hear it from me first.
“Hi, Cara!” Kaia greeted me as I walked in. She was at the counter talking to Fallon and Mackenzie. Her fiancée, Daisy, was sitting in her usual spot with her computer and tablet surrounding her. Kaia walked over to her and signed something before Daisy looked up at me and smiled, waving hello. I waved back and headed toward the cash register.
“Cara, what a lovely surprise. What brings you in today?” Fallon asked. She was holding a few parenting books while Mackenzie was paying for them.
“I’m glad I caught you before you left. Do you guys have a minute to talk?”
Mackenzie turned to me and smiled. “Of course.” She peered around me, as if looking for something. Or someone.
“It’s just me today, Vera isn’t here. Kaia, do you and Daisy have a second? There’s something I wanted to talk to all of you about.”
She turned back to Daisy and started signing something. I needed to make more of an effort to learn sign language. Daisytaught a class at the bookstore once a month, and everyone went, but I was always working. I’d make myself go more often in the future.
After a brief back and forth, Kaia turned back to me, but she still had her hands up to sign at the same time. “Of course. Let’s go set in the corner by Daisy. It’s quieter over there.”
I nodded and followed her over to Daisy, who stood up and gave me a hug. She slowly signed, “Hi Cara. It’s nice to see you,” and mouthed the words for me. I really appreciated that she took that step to make me understand better.
I waved hello and we all gathered around together. Anxiety started to creep its way in, but I tried to take a deep breath. I had already told Drea and Blair, and they were who I was more nervous to tell, so I could do this.
“What did you want to talk to us about?” Fallon asked.
I cleared my throat. “Right. Well, it’s about Vera.”
“Listen, although she still scares me, I like her. You two are so cute together, and you look really happy.” Mackenzie smiled and rubbed my arm.
My chest ached at the sincerity of her tone. “Thank you. And she likes you… now. Anyway that’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you guys about. You know how we’ve been dating since before the wedding?” They all nodded and smiled together.
I didn’t know why it was so hard for me to get these words out. I guess I was a little embarrassed, if I was being completely honest with myself. I didn’t want my friends to judge me for being so pathetic I needed someone to pretend to be my girlfriend for my best friend’s wedding.
“Well, it’s a really funny story. We weren’t actually dating. We met at the masquerade ball and sort of… You don’t need to know the details. Anyway, when we saw each other again, I’d been really against us being together, then she overheardme talking about needing a date to the wedding because I’d panicked and already told Blair I had one.”
They were all silent as they sat there and listened to my story. Kaia was interpreting for Daisy and they had a blank expression.
I continued. “I was going to say no when she offered to be my date. I had said no, but Blair saw us together and sort of assumed we were dating. Against my better judgment, I let her believe we were and it sort of exploded from there, as you all know. I’m rambling. What I’m trying to say is that while it did start out fake and based on a lie, it didn’t end that way. I realized the feelings I was trying to get rid of or pretend they didn’t exist, were just growing stronger the longer I spent time with her. Long story short, we were faking it until the wedding when it wasn’t so fake anymore and I’m really sorry I lied to everyone.”
I took a long breath. I’d said so much and there were still no facial expressions from anyone. I wanted to keep rambling, feeling like I needed to defend myself, but there was nothing else I could’ve said. I just had to wait for someone, anyone, to say something.
Finally, after what felt like hours, I sagged in relief when smiles spread across my friends faces. “We’re happy for you, Cara. Really.” Mackenzie spoke first.
“Yeah, seriously. You two are polar opposites, but it somehow works beautifully. We’re sorry you felt like you had to lie to us. We wouldn’t have judged you. You know that, right?” Kaia spoke next while also signing for Daisy.
“I know. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I don’t know either, Car. You could’ve taken that to your grave and we would’ve never known it was a lie, honestly. With the way you two look at each other every second of the day, it was obvious how in love you two were from the beginning.”
I scoffed. “What are you talking about, Fallon? How did we look at each other?”
She glared at me. “Sweetie. You two look at each other like those two are looking at each other right now.” She tilted her head toward Kaia and Daisy, who were looking at one another with stars in their eyes.
I smiled and turned back to Fallon. “Cara, we aren’t blind, okay? Vera looks at you like your eyes hold the answer to every question she could ever have about life. And you? You look at her…” Her smile softened and her voice grew quieter. “Like you’re in love with her and don’t want to be anywhere else.”
I swallowed. She wasn’t wrong. Iwasin love with Vera. How could I not be? I was stupid not to see it before now. The way she talked to me. The way she took care of me. The way she made me feel. It had been what I’d been searching for for so long. I’d been waiting for someone like Vera to come into my life and rescue me, I was just looking in the wrong places.
