“Nah. I’ve got the best boss, amiga. You still want to meet for drinks?”
I laughed, masking the tears that were slowly spilling down my face. I didn’t think he was dying, but something in my chest ached at the sight of him being put into the ambulance.
“I don’t think they’ll let you out that soon, bro. Get some rest. I’ll call Diana and have Joe ride with you. I’ve got to take care of stuff here, but then I’ll be right over, okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, V. I’m going to have one hell of a headache, huh?”
I chuckled and waved him off. “Oh, hell yeah.”
When the ambulance drove away, I rushed back inside to send everyone else home. I made sure to close up everything and make sure everything was secure.
When everyone left, I told Joe to go to the hospital with Nico and I’d call Nico’s wife to let her know what’s going on and offer to take her to the hospital if she needed a ride.
I was just about to call Nico’s wife when I heard a panicked voice behind me. “Vera.”
I looked up from my phone to see Cara heading toward me. She had left her suitcase at Eloise’s desk and looked as if she was heading out. “I heard the ambulance. Are you okay? What happened?”
“Yeah I’m fine.” I said looking back at my phone. “A steel beam wasn’t secured and it fell on Nico. They just took him to the hospital. I have to call his wife.”
“Oh my God. Is he okay? Is there something I can do to help?” She walked closer and reached out for me. I let her touch my arm, but I didn’t lean into the touch. My mind was racing from all the things I needed to do and should’ve done to prevent what happened. I couldn’t deal with anything else.
I shook my head, finally looking at her. “No. I’m fine. You should get going. I’ve got it handled.”
“Please, Vera. I want to help. Can I call someone for you? Take you to the hospital? Help you clean up here? Just let me know what I can do.”
She smiled and I hated how closed off I was being, but I couldn’t help it. This was my job. My company. My team. It was my responsibility and mine alone to handle the situation. I appreciated that she was being supportive, but I couldn’t deal with it. It wasn’t like helping me with a sick dog. This was a lot bigger.
“I’ll be fine. You need to get going. You’re going to miss your flight.”
She frowned at me, like she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t agreeing to her help. I wanted to, but my ego wouldn’t let me. I had to handle it on my own. It was my fault and I needed to be the only one to resolve it.
“I’ll take the next one. I want to stay and help. It can be a very stressful situation, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it alone. Here, let me see your phone. I can help?—”
“Just go, Cara! I don’t need your help. You’re only a publisher. You don’t know what it’s like to run an actual business where people get hurt. That’s probably the reason you only date femme’s, huh? Because you guys don’t get hurt on the job and you don’t have to worry about things like this. Well, I’m sorry, but that happens a lot in my job. People get hurt and I have to deal with it. Alone. Just go. You’ll miss your flight.”
I didn’t give her time to respond before I was heading down the stairs and out the building. I had a few phone calls to make on my way to the hospital, and I couldn’t get distracted by my conversation with Cara.
Chapter Forty-One
CARA
I got back from my trip two days ago, and I still hadn’t seen or talked to Vera. I thought about texting her so many times since our fight, but I got scared every time. I was afraid she’d yell at me again and I didn’t want to make her more upset. And honestly, I was angry too. I was just trying to help, and I get that she was stressed, but she still had no right to say those things.
Did she really mean what she said about my job? That publishing wasn’t a real job because I don’t do physical labor? Did she really think that was why I dated femmes? Because we didn’t get hurt? That didn’t even make sense. We got hurt just like everyone else. I hoped this time apart would be good for us, but I hated it.
I missed seeing her everyday and talking to her and touching her. I just missed her. I tried to forget about it and focus on work, but it was not a success. Every time I’d start working, I’d think “What’s the point? It’s not like it’s real work, anyway, according to Vera.”
I groaned, closing my laptop and covering my face with my hands. The tears hadn’t stopped since our fight. After my flight landed and I shut my hotel room door behind me, the tears just poured out. I pulled it together for the book convention I had to attend for one of my authors, but after that, I was right back in my room crying and cursing the empty room.
I didn’t know whether I wanted to be mad or sad about what happened. I think I was a little bit of both and I didn’t know how to process both of those emotions, so I just cried.
I was so in love with her and she treated me like I didn’t mean shit. I’d grown so much since having her in my life, and a few words brought me right back to the beginning. Is what she said really how she thinks of me? Was our whole relationship a lie?
“Knock knock. Are you okay?” I looked up to see Eloise at the door.
“Peachy.” I said softly. “I’ll be working from home for the rest of the day. You can go home too, if you want.” I stood up to start packing my bag. I’d try to get work done at home when I knew Vera wasn’t several feet away from my office.
It’d be so easy for her to just walk over to my office and apologize. It would also be easy for me to walk over to her and apologize, but the stubborn side of me refused. The anxious part of me didn’t want the rejection, either.
