“Hi,” I replied softly. For some reason, I couldn’t find my voice.
“Hola. Now sit, mija.”
Her grandmother was already sitting back at the table and Vera turned to her. I still hadn’t taken my eyes off her.
“Abuela, I don’t?—”
“Ahora!”
“Si, abuela.”
Vera took the seat in front of me and cleared her throat. “It’s good to see you, Cara.”
“Cara? Is that my name now?” I asked, not wanting to admit how much that hurt. I’d grown to love the nickname she gave me, and to be called anything else, felt like a stab in the gut.
The look she gave me was one of sadness and apology. “I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate being called princesa. I’m not sure?—-“
“I’m glad both of my girls are here, now we can eat. Oh, you know what? I think I forgot something upstairs. Let me go get it.” Her grandmother cut her off and stood up.
“Do you need help, abuela?” Vera asked.
Well at least I knew how she felt about me being here. She didn’t even want to be in the same room as me.
I stood up. “I’ll help you. Then, I think it’s better if I go and let you two enjoy your family dinner.”
Vera stood up and frowned. “No, Cara. You don’t have to leave. Please, I?—”
“Nonsense. You both sit down. No one is leaving. I’m perfectly capable of getting around on my own. I won’t be long. Sit down and enjoy your dinner.”
Without another word, she was gone, and we were both in our seats again. Vera started eating and avoided all eye contact with me. I wanted to leave. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to cry and hold her and make all the pain go away. I wanted everything I didn’t have the courage to do.
After a few minutes of not really eating, just playing around with her food, she put her fork down and cursed under her breath. She finally looked at me and my heart stuttered before starting up again. I opened my mouth to say… something, when she beat me to it.
“I’m so sorry, Cara. I was an idiota.”
I sat there, waiting for her to continue. She looked at me as if she expected me to argue with that statement. “If you were expecting me to disagree with that, you’ll be sorely disappointed.”
“I wasn’t. This is hard for me, okay? I was so stupid and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of what I said.”
“No? Then why did you say them? It sure sounded like you meant them.”
“I was panicking and stressed about Nico, and you were being your perfect self just trying to help. Nico and Miguel’s words just kept playing in my head and I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m sorry.”
I frowned. “Their words? What did they say?” What had they said about me? I thought her brother liked me? Had I gotten everything wrong?
“They were basically saying how we didn’t fit together and how our jobs and lives are so different and for some reason, all of that came to my head when Nico got hurt and I wondered if they were right. We are just so different and you’ve even said time and time again that I’m not your type so it just made me think you were all right.”
My face was blank, but I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut. I nodded slowly. “Maybe.”
I stood up, ready to leave. Clearly she was breaking up with me and I didn’t need to wait for her abuela to come back and see my tears. They had already started pooling underneath my eyes.
She grabbed my hand and stopped me before I could walk away from the table. She stood up and rounded the table so we were face to face.
“But I think they’re wrong.”
“What?”
“We do have different lives and different jobs, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. You said I wasn’t your type, but you gaveme a chance anyway and we fell in love. I don’t care if you’re a publisher, a bus driver, or a stripper.”
