“Cade, I…” I start to say, but Cade tsks at me before I can finish.
“If you’re about to apologize, then you might as well save it. I offered closer. I didn’t think you’d take itthatclose, but it feels odd to be angry about getting something from you that I once fought so hard to get,” he says with amusement.
I swallow again at the memories of the night we shared. As soon as Cade realized kissing was off the table, his competitiveness to always get what he wants surfaced, and while I never gave in to him, it doesn’t change the fact that he spent most of that night trying for it. If anyone other than the one Iwantto kiss most was going to get my kiss, then I’m okay with it being Cade. At least I can trust Cade not to make anything more out of it than what it was.
“I still shouldn’t have–” I start to apologize again, but the fucker cuts me off…again.
“Maybe not with someone else, but you have no idea how much satisfaction I got out of that dickhead’s expression when you kissed me. I almost wish you’d have let me carry you up the stairs and let that fucker watch me eat your lips the whole way up.”
My initial bristling at being interrupted twice in a row is overshadowed by actual anger when he starts gloating about how much we hurt Marcus and his desire to hurt him even more. I don’t know why Cade would have anything against Marcus at all, but it suddenly makes everything so much worse. The room starts spinning even though I haven’t had a drop to drink.
“Whoa, little pixie, let’s sit down before we fall,” he says as he steers me to the foot of his bed to sit on.
The kind gesture wars so hard against the acid in my stomach that I’ve just hurt Marcus with someone whowantsto hurt him.
“What do you have against Marcus?” I almost whisper, and even I can hear the despair in the question, so there’s no way Cade doesn’t catch it. The lift of his brow only further proves that.
“Marcus?” he asks, confusion evident in his tone, until his lips quirk up and a knowing smile spreads across his face. “Oh-ho, well, this just gotsomuch more interesting,” he says with enjoyment in his voice.
Fucker is way too much of a gossip whore, and I somehow just accidentally walked right into a trap. One that doesn’t need to be entertained now that I’ve firmly shut these doors.
“It’s not… no,” I so eloquently say in response.
Cade laughs. “Oh, but itsois,” he almost crows with delight. “He’s so ridiculously possessive over you; I honestly thought the only reason you weren’t together yet was becauseyoudidn’t want him. But evidently that summation is wrong.”
I shake my head at that. There’s no way to know Marcus and not want him. I hate it so much that I could have him, and that I absolutelycan’thave him at the same time.
“It’s just better if we don’t, you know. Neither of us are relationshippeople; we’d probably torpedo that shit in a week,” I say, shooting for nonchalance.
Cade snorts and rolls his eyes. It’s such an un-Cade-like expression that it jars me for a second. “Or you’re letting that stupid shit, Kingston Adair, have far more control over your decisions than you should.”
The observation pulls me up short, and I frown at him. “How do you know about that?” I ask, but when Cade simply raises a brow at me, it hits me.
Of course, he’d know. This is Cade Murphy we’re talking about; the things hedoesn’tknow are far less than the things hedoesknow.
“Qiang, darling, that guy doesn’t even deserve you recognizing him after all these years, let alone your continued reluctance to give in to the first person you’ve wanted in who knows how long. You are amazing. That guy is shit under my shoe,” he says so point-blank that all I can do is blink at him for a second.
And then the realization hits that his tone is personal; it’s not just knowing what Kingston did to me, there’s more to his dislike for the guy than that.
“What doyouhave against Kingston?”
“Aside from being an overall dickbag-ish human for what he did to you, he’s also…chummywith someone I’d rather him not be chummy with,” he says evasively, his lips curling unpleasantly at the word chummy.
I raise an eyebrow at the unexpectedly simple answer. “That’s it?” I ask.
I get the hostility against someone getting chummy with someone I’d rather them not get chummy with, like my dislike of Imani getting close to Marcus, even while knowing I have no stones nor the right towantthe stones to throw into that. And while I’ve envisioned clawing her arms off of Marcus, I would never actually want any real harm or pain to come to her.
Cade takes my expression in before nodding. “Inthiscase, that’s enough,” he says resolutely.
“Fair enough.” It’s not like I have any desire to sit here and argueabout the fairness to Kingston Cade’s impression of him is. Kingston’s a douche canoe, even if Cade’s reason doesn’t wholly make sense; it’s still not necessarily an incorrect evaluation of Kingston’s character.
“A bit of advice, if I might offer it,” Cade says quietly, his eyes searching mine until I nod slowly that I’ll hear him out. “There are two men downstairs, one who deserves all of your attention and one who deserves none of it. The fact that you are up here with me speaks volumes to your avoidance of both of them.”
I let out a sigh at that because he makes it sound so simple. I can almost see myself running down the stairs and taking Marcus home. My chest expands at the idea, but I shut it down. Because with me there’s pain, there’s baggage, there’s…no. Everything is already too much without having to openthatdoor, too.
“You don’t understand, I’m really the worst thing that could happen to Marcus.”
Cade shakes his head. “Can’t imagine any reason why you’d be a questionable choice for Marcus, let alone the worst thing that could ever happen to him. There are countless reasons to like you, Qiang, and honestly, I can’t think of a single one not to like you. So maybe you need to examine where that nonsense is coming from because it’s neither necessary nor accurate. And honestly, with the hurt on his face from earlier, it has absolutely no business being here at all.”
