I take a deep breath because I’ve heard the same things from Qi. I know this is how the people closest to me feel, but they don’t know the whole story. That final door rattles its cage before I turn my back on it for now.
I force myself to relax and curl my lips into a smile. “You’re a bully, Cade,” I tease him, letting him think I’m calling him out for being nice to me when I just want to be mean to myself, rather than letting the conversation go any deeper.
Cade laughs, and a small smile spreads across his face, even though I can see a spark in his eyes that tells me I may not have actually fooled him all that much. He knows I’m avoiding the depth of what he said, but he’s like the last human who can call me out on it because if there was ever a king of avoidance, it’s this guy.
“And don’t ever fucking forget it, Qiang. And also, if that fucker comes after you and no one’s around, you’d better call me. I may not be pining after you, little pixie, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have a soft spot for you,” he says.
“Thank–” I start to say when Cade overrides me by standing back up.
“How about we talk about getting you home? Or did you want to go back to the party, maybe find your tall, dark, and handsome?”
“If you don’t stop interrupting me, I’m gonna smack that smile off your face,” I growl.
“I’d love to see it,” he quips right back, and I roll my eyes.
“Probably best for me to go home. I’m pretty sure he’s occupied by now,” I huff out.
He looks like he wants to argue, but he knows he has no more way of knowing what’s happened since we came up here than I do, so he shrugs it off.
“Then do you want to take the back way out and avoid the party altogether?”
“Yeah,” I nod and grab my phone to text Qi and let him know I caught a ride home. Between being pissed off at me and distracted by Tristan, he probably won’t even miss me tonight.
FRAT PARTY PART TWO
Marcus’s POV
I think it’s safe to say this is easily one of the worst nights I’ve ever had. I knew there was no way I wasn’t gonna get some sort of backlash from Qiang with Kingston suddenly showing up on campus. I was trying to tread lightly. Not so much to avoid that backlash, but because I really didn’t know what Qiang needed most from me. I was hoping that just stating that I was here for them would be enough for them to tell me if they needed anything from me.
I wasn’t surprised when they were ready to tell me to back off. That beautiful morning almost a week ago went from really feeling like I had a chance to knowing I was most likely gonna have to take a back seat for a while. It didn’t cross my mind that they’d go so far as telling me to fuckallthe way off, though, and there’s no pretending how much that hurt. It’s not like they haven’t said it before, but this time it felt like they meant it with their whole chest.
I spent a good chunk of time in the car on the way to the party thinking about things. At what point does it become too much? Not them, not at all. I’d happily sit on the sidelines while they figured everything out, but the question is, when doesmyobsession becometoo much forthem? At what point do they tell me to back off enough before I cross the line between ardent and just creepy?
The thoughts don’t come around to me being over Qiang by any means. I don’t think I can move on from them while they remain this close in my sphere, which, given who they are to Qi and who I am to Tristan, may very well mean I’ll never move on. But maybe it’s best that Qiang doesn’t know that.
I was never a relationship guy before Qiang came along. Maybe I need to slip back into that lifestyle to at least make Qiang feel like I’m letting this go.
But then comes the question of whether I’m the kind of guy who can sleep with someone while fully knowing I’m completely head over heels for someone else? If all parties are on the same page, maybe. But how long can I do that and still look at myself in the mirror? Fucking around with no strings attached, easy. Fucking around knowing there are strings now, regardless of how unrequited they are, I just don’t fucking know anymore.
It almost feels like the universe is working against me, though, because instead of really debating whether I want to step back into that life, or even thinking of a game if that’s where I’m headed, Imani makes her way straight to me the moment we walk in the door.
She’s absolutely gorgeous, strong, intelligent, the kind of girl anyone would be lucky to have, and having her attention on me eases the bruised ego slightly, but she wants more than just one night. I’ve made it clear that we’re just friends, but the flirty remarks and the come-hither eyes let me know she’s hopeful for more.
But tonight, I’m not in the mood for any of it. Even if I got it into my head to revert to my old ways, tonight would definitely not be the night to start. I wish Qiang hadn’t waited until right before we left to drop the gauntlet, so I’d at least have had time to come up with an adequate excuse not to come.
Instead, I’m stuck here trying desperately not to look at them, and being completely incapable of doing so. I mean, partly because they are absolutely stunning as always, but also because I don’t know how much of what they said tonight is due to me or to Kingston. But eventhen, am I even allowed or in a place to question it, or just take the reasons given and slink away?
The Zeta Tau Xi house is stifling with too many bodies. Even with all the windows and doors thrown open, it’s too much. This is usually my scene. I walk into a room like this, and I’m in my element. But not tonight. I’m fucking miserable. I just want to crawl into my bed and lick my wounds.
Instead, I’ve got Imani hanging off my arm as Cade upnods me before leaning down and whispering something in Qiang’s ear that sounded very suspiciously like ‘little pixie’.
I know Cade knew Qiang well enough to think Kingston was a dick for what he’d done to them, but I didn’t know they were close enough to have pet names for each other, and Ireallyfucking hate it.
I hate the nasty feeling that twists my gut. I hate the fact that I’m the kind of person who, despite how much I truly respect Cade, I want to detach his head from his body right now. But instead of doing anything that violent and drastic, I stand back and steadily focus on my breathing.
In and out, keeping control of myself and not stepping forward to bodily shove him away from Qiang. As immensely satisfying as it would be to step in and claim what’s mine, it’s the exact opposite of how Qiang feels, and I would be the sorest loser in that scenario. So I remind myself I have no right and to keep breathing in and out, focusing on how the air fills my chest with each breath.
Qiang’s hand finds its way into Cade’s, and it’s like the world tips on its axis. Something furious trembles through me. Imani says something to me; I’m not sure what it is, but when she tugs on my arm, I follow, not sure what else to do.
