“I’m so glad you could visit,” Lydia said.
“Edmund was keen to have a break from London, and I do miss you dearly,” Rose replied, squeezing Lydia’s arm. They were sitting in the garden. It was not as lush as the one she was used to at home, but there were leafy fronds and long hedges and beds filled with colorful flowers that spread a sweet aroma through the warm air. Birds chirped all around while servants went about their business near the house.
John was in his pram. Lydia was moving him back and forth gently.
“How is London?” Lydia asked. It was an innocuous question on the surface, but she meant something deeper by it.
“Same as always. Thetonkeeps moving. There are balls and galas and all kinds of events. And of course, people talk,” she said, her voice turning sober.
“I assume this matter is still on their minds.”
“For the moment, yes. I have tried to do what I can, but it seems as though people are keen to believe what they want.”
“As they always are. I never thought I would be subject to such scandal. I used to listen to all the talk and wonder how anyone got themselves into those kinds of situations. Now, I realize that it may not have been through any fault of their own. I feel guilty for blaming them. Thetonis to blame. If they would just listen to the truth…” Lydia felt herself starting to tremble again. Anger prowled in her stomach like a panther.
She turned towards John as looking at him always comforted her.
“When has thetonever been concerned with the truth? All they want is entertainment, and they’re happy to turn their backs on everyone. They do not care, as long as the scandal is happening to someone else.”
“It’s not fair,” Lydia said quietly.
“No, it isn’t, but the important people know the truth,” Rose assured, squeezing Lydia’s hand and offering a reassuring smile. “But let us not speak of London. How are things with the Duke? Has he at least been cordial?”
Lydia blushed and averted her gaze, thinking about the moments when they had been close. She was normallyunguarded with Rose, but even so, it was difficult to share these feelings that she did not quite understand herself.
“Things have not been as intolerable as I thought they might be,” she conceded. “He is a difficult man, but I suppose it was quite an adjustment for both of us. At first, he seemed distant and uninterested, but recently, he has shown more of an interest in John, and we have been able to discuss things openly.”
“That is wonderful to hear. I know you were upset about the way matters unfolded. Edmund does feel utterly dreadful that there was no other way, but this is much better than being in a nunnery, you must agree.”
“Perhaps,” Lydia sighed, “although I do not yet know what the future holds.”
Rose leaned in and lowered her voice. “Do you think there might be a chance for you and Victor to grow closer?”
Lydia blushed. “I’m not sure he is interested in such a thing. He does not hold much respect for romance.”
“And what about you? Are you interested?”
“I… I must confess that I do not know. Rose… I find myself troubled. I should hate Victor for the way this situation has unfolded and for ruining my chances of true love, but even so, there is something that makes me feel strange inside. There are moments when we have been close, and I find myself unable totear my gaze or my thoughts away from him. It is most terrible, and I can only think that it is a symptom of my fatigue.”
“It might well be a symptom of something else. Lydia, is it possible that you are falling for your husband?”
“Absolutely not,” Lydia said, aghast. Deep down she feared that Rose’s question might be pertinent, but she did not wish to accept that fact readily.
“Would it be such a grim fate? Victor is a… striking man.”
“That is certainly one way to put it. I admit he is handsome, but his attitude is brash and curt, and he always wants things done in a particular way. It has been heartwarming to see him take more of an interest in John, but I don’t think he was the type of man born to love someone. I’m not sure he understands it at all.”
Rose laughed at this although Lydia knew she did not mean this in a mocking way.
“I think that is true for us all. I never understood love before I met Edmund. And while I know that you consider yourself an expert because of all the books you’ve read, those are just books. Living it, feeling it, are entirely different things.”
Lydia nodded absently.
“Victor’s uncle, Theodore, expressed a similar attitude. Apparently, Victor was always the type of person to observe things rather than experience them.”
“Then that is something you have in common.”
“I have never been shy of facing new experiences,” Lydia recoiled.
