I groan, covering my face with my hands. “Me too. I don’t know how people do it. And what do you mean I just have to do it over and over and over again? What do you mean people don’t ever learn after all the times they have to do it?”
Jasper laughs again. Fuck. Dropping my hands, I stare at him. He’s so fucking gorgeous and all mine. “I miss you so much,” I breathe, my heart skipping a beat.
His smile fades into something softer and sweeter. “And I miss you too, baby boy. If you go to sleep, I’ll basically be there before you know it.”
Not true. “No. I’ll still miss you in my sleep.”
“Oh, someone is getting sappy tonight.”
I shrug. “Can’t help it. You’ve ruined me. What am I supposed to do? I’m all needy and codependent now.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be around your partner. I’m just glad you like spending time with me.”
I’m opening my mouth to speak when the tones drop. Jasper’s head jerks up. “Duty calls, baby boy. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He gives me a grin, blows me a kiss, and hangs up the phone.
Iwaketowarmth.A heavy arm is draped over my side, exhaled breaths ruffling my hair.
A sleepy grin stretches my lips as I roll over and press my face into Jasper’s chest. He brings a hand to my hair, tangling hisfingers in the strands. “Didn’t mean to wake you up, baby boy. Just missed you and wanted a little cuddle.”
I hum, rubbing my face back and forth. I don’t even care that he woke me up. I’m just glad he’s home. “Missed you too,” I say, my voice muffled against him.
“What’s the plan for today?”
I yawn, then reach between us to rub the sleep from my eyes. “Uh… Nora has a birthday party, and Salem is gonna go hang out at the farm with Hunter and Theo. They told me to just drop him off.”
Fingers dance along my scalp, and Jasper sighs. “That’ll be good for him, I think.”
I sure fucking hope so. “He’s been so testy lately,” I say, rolling onto my back so I can stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. Maybe it’s stupid of me, but I thought he would adjust easier.”
Wrapping his arm around my side, Jasper drags me back to him. Closer and closer until I’m smooshed into his side. “Was I not close enough for ya?”
“Nope. I just spent twenty-four hours without you for the first time in over a month.” He sighs, nuzzling my temple. “I don’t know what’s going on with him, either. I don’t know him the way you do, of course.”
That’s the problem, I think. I’m not even sure thatIknow him anymore. Not like I used to. I know he went through shit after I left. Shit that I used to protect him from—or at least shit I tried my best to protect him from.
I wish I knew what happened after I left. Part of me wants to ask him, but really, what will that help? Nothing but my own understanding. Rehashing all of that isn’t going to make Salem feel better. At least, not rehashing it with me. I hope he’s at least talking to his therapist about it.
“Did you know that sometimes you have to talk to multiple therapists before you find one you click with?” I ask, raising up on my elbows to look at Jasper.
He nods, his eyes warm and bright. “Yeah, it took me three tries to find one that worked for me after Sarah died.”
That surprises me, and I’m not sure why. “You saw a therapist after Sarah died?”
“Yeah, baby boy. I was sixteen and had just watched my sister die. I was pretty fucked up.”
“And did it help?”
He shrugs. “It helped about as much as you can expect. Therapists aren’t miracle workers. It helped me process my trauma, but it’s still always going to be there. Now it’s just something I live with. Not something that controls me. Hell, the first fire I worked where we lost someone? Sent me fucking spiraling. I had to go back to therapy then. It’s gotten easier, but sometimes things can trigger it.”
“Like me almost dying?”
“Yes.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Like you almost dying.”
“Do you think we should go to therapy?” I ask softly.
