She forced a laugh, infusing it with as much humour as she could, and sought for a way to hint to him that she required additional time before being able to commit herself. “Oh, I do not know that I could ask it of them. They are eager to find a new home. Netherfield Park is lovely, but I am confident they will find a situation more to their liking, one in which they will raise their children and spend their lives. Do you know that they met soon after Bingley let the estate? It was evident that they liked each other at once. They met at an assembly, and they danced twice!” She laughed again. “It was much talked of, and many people were convinced they would marry before they had known each other two months, my mother included. Events transpired that separated them for a time, but they were engaged soon after meeting again last September. As much as I know my sister was saddened during the time they were apart, on the whole, I think they are better off for it. I have always believed a couple should know each other at least half a year before committing themselves. It gives them an opportunity for sober reflection and for first impressions to be confirmed.”
His response was long in coming, and he spoke slowly, suggesting he was disappointed. “I believe I do, and that is wise of you, Miss Bennet.”
She slipped her arm around his. “Will you tell me more about the herb garden? I seem to recall you mentioning it was a special interest of your mother’s.”
He nodded, and as they continued to stroll, they talked of the garden, his late parents, and her interest in plants of allsorts. It was full dark before they returned to the house. Jane sent her a questioning look. Elizabeth did not expect either gentleman would recognise its import, but she knew her sister was silently asking whether Mr Grey had proposed. In reply, Elizabeth gave a quick shake of her head.
If he took her at her word, she had delayed a proposal until September, coincidentally a year after she had expected to receive one from a different gentleman.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Elizabeth experienced an odd assortment of sentiments upon entering Derbyshire. Since leaving Graystone, she had spent a great deal of time during the long carriage rides and quiet nights contemplating the two gentlemen fighting for space in her heart. She had almost determined that she could gladly marry Mr Grey.
“I might not feel the same overwhelming draw to him that I do—did—to Mr Darcy, but I could be happy with him, if I allowed myself,” she whispered to herself shortly before dawn on what would be their first full day in Derbyshire.
Jane and she had not talked of Mr Darcy since leaving London, but during their time at Graystone, Jane had asked what she felt for Mr Grey. Elizabeth suspected her brother and sister would be pleased if she married him, which added to her confusion, and she would only admit that she liked him.
To date, Bingley had said nothing of making a trip to Mr Darcy’s part of the county, and Elizabeth was relieved.
The silence ended when he announced at breakfast several days later that he had received word from his agent.
“He has discovered not one buttwoestates that sound like just what we are looking for! Do you want to know the best thing about them?” He continued without waiting for a response. “They are both within twenty miles of Pemberley! I wrote to Darcy and told him we would trespass on his kindness.”
Elizabeth’s eyes flew to Jane, who was staring at her, her expression mirroring the same alarm. Fortunately, in his happy mood, Bingley did not notice.
“He will not object. Indeed, he would be insulted if he learnt we were nearby and did not stay with him. You will love Pemberley, Jane. I know Lizzy does, and I certainly have always thought it one of the most marvellous estates I have ever visited. If we like one or both properties—and they both sound perfect for us—Darcy can give us his opinion. He knows a great deal more about estates than I do. How good it would be to settle near him!”
Elizabeth was horrified by the prospect of returning to Pemberley. Not only did Bingley expect her to go there, he expected her tostaythere, to sleep underhisroof! Desperately, she sought a way to avoid it, but there was none. She had no friend thereabouts she might claim a desire to visit, and how could she explain a sudden, urgent need to return to Hertfordshire? Bingley would never agree to her taking a public conveyance and would insist on driving her in his carriage, which would mean disrupting his and Jane’s tour and journey to Scarborough, and Elizabeth would not be responsible for such an outcome.
She left Jane to say all that was proper in answer to Bingley’s enthusiasm, though if her sister heard the details of theestates they were to visit any better than Elizabeth did, she would be shocked. Jane was pale, and her voice was weak when she spoke. It was astonishing that Bingley did not notice. Then again, thought Elizabeth, he had failed to recognise his friend’s love for her or how awkward they were towards each other all the months they were in town. Today, his enthusiasm must partly account for his overlooking what seemed glaringly obvious to her.
Later that same day, Bingley left the ladies at the inn while he went for a walk. No sooner was he gone than Jane took a seat next to Elizabeth. Their hands found each other’s, and they remained thus connected as they discussed his announcement.
“It is time to tell him the truth about you and Mr Darcy. Then he will understand why we cannot go to Pemberley,” Jane insisted.
Elizabeth was shaking her head before the last syllable of his name left her sister’s lips. “There is no need for it. Miss Darcy will have him refuse if she finds the notion too daunting, and unless Mr Darcy puts us off, I can manage a few days at his estate. He and I—all three of us, really—must accustom ourselves to sometimes being in company. Should we divulge the truth, I truly do believe that Bingley would sever his friendship with Mr Darcy. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I do not think that I am, and I would hate to be the cause of it.”
“You think too much of it! Bingley loves you, and he would choose your happiness and comfort over his friendship with Mr Darcy without a second’s hesitation. Yes, it has been significant to him, but he has different priorities now—me and our family, which you are a very important part of, as you surely know.”
Elizabeth embraced her. “I do, and it is because he is such agood man that I want to do this for him. It is just a few days—supposing Mr Darcy agrees to us staying, which I doubt he will. What harm could there be in it?”
Jane took a long moment to think, during which she kept her gaze fixed on Elizabeth. At length, she said, “If you are absolutely certain.”
Elizabeth nodded.
“Very well, I shall say nothing to Bingley. However, if at any time you change your mind, if you find it too difficult once we are there, you must promise to tell me. Bingley would be very angry if he discovered we remained there despite you being miserable. Worse, he would be hurt I did not tell him sooner.”
“I would hate to cause any strife between you, and I promise I shall tell you if I find it would be better for us to leave.”
Privately, Elizabeth desperately sought to understand why she despised the notion of Bingley knowing the extent of her history with his friend. Was it embarrassment? Or was it because, if he knew, she would surely see less of Mr Darcy? She refused to believe that a part of her longed to go to Pemberley and be near him again, but a persistent little voice in her head suggested that might be the case.
And if it is true, I am a horrible person.How could she think otherwise, knowing the visit would only cause Mr Darcy and her pain, to say nothing of Miss Darcy? And then there was Mr Grey to consider. If her feelings for Mr Darcy were still so strong, shemustask Bingley to write to Mr Grey to inform him that he should have no hope where she was concerned. To do otherwise would be unconscionable.
The post arrived in time for Darcy to peruse it at the breakfast table. He set aside two that were related to business affairs and one from the earl in favour of reading Bingley’s. His friend was making a slow journey to tour vacant estates and had sent previous letters in which he had expressed his disappointment in those he had viewed. Bingley’s passing mentions of Elizabeth, which were always sprinkled throughout his notes, were what made Darcy particularly anxious to receive his news. He was not surprised that Bingley had come to appreciate Elizabeth, and he was glad for her that she had such a caring brother.
The opening paragraph contained the usual sort of information—where they had been, that they were all healthy, and that he hoped Darcy and Georgiana were well and enjoying the summer. It was what followed that made Darcy softly gasp and gape at the paper, his vision clouded and heart thudding.
They were coming to Pemberley.Elizabethwas coming to Pemberley.
