I’m ready to yank the metaphorical dagger she and Max pushed into my heart and turn it around on her. The reason Baby is so depressed right now is because of them! But Ihold my tongue and say what I’ve been saying all week, “I’ll fix it. Promise.”
* **
That night, Baby is sitting at the window with her hazel eyes bright green and brimming with tears. “You been watching a sad film, Baby?” Itease, brushing my lips to hers through the open sill.
“Dad and Iwatched a new series tonight, Ibelieve it’s called ‘front door footage?’ Have you heard of it?”
I shake my head and search her eyes for her thoughts. “Oh, fuck. I’ve lived it. Shit. How did that go?” Jesus, she heard me promise Jewels grandbabies before we’ve even fucked. Part of me wants to crawl in a hole and die, but that ain’t my style.
“Was everyone really talking about me naked? At the radio station?”
I bust out a loud honk of a laugh. “That’s your big takeaway? Yes, darling, Idon’t lie, ya know!”
“You don’t?”
“Never!” Iwrap a long, black curl of hers around my finger and twirl absent-mindedly. Imean, Imightforgetto tell the truth sometimes. Shit.
“So when you said … telling me how long you’ve wanted me would be awkward, you meant … you’ve wanted me since we met at the Seventeen party?” How many times has she heard this confession, and yet she still looks stunned. The innocent look on her face takes my breath away.
“Ya couldn't tell? Ithought you knew and told me you didn't date so Iwould fuck off.” She shakes her head no but Iknow better. Ayear after she claimed she didn't date, she had the prettiest boy on her arm everywhere she went. Maddy and Tate, TMZ’s dream couple. Never brought him to my shows, though. How convenient. “I saw the blokes you dated, Mads. Iknew Icouldn't have you but Iwanted ya. Bad. And the want turned into a need that Icouldn't shake. People think I’m a slut, but in my mind, Iwas just trying to get over you! Ihad to use other people because Icouldn’t have you! Iknow that makes me an arsehole, I-I’m sorry, Baby. The well of need that Ihave for you is never-ending, there is no bottom. I’ve tried to stop needing you and wanting you more times than Ican count but there’s just no use! No one could ever stack up, never compare to you. You see that?”
She gives a small nod as a tear escapes her eye and Ikiss it away. “Dad said he’s not sure how we all missed this … but he seemed more open to the idea after our show was over.”
Relief washes over me. “And what did you think?”
She grabs the collar of my Rancid T-shirt, “it’s my new favorite show,” and her sweet lips take mine over like we’ve been doing this since the day we met.
* * *
Tonight, Ican’t sleep at all and Grey Goose is my only friend. Ifeel so insane worrying about convincing Max tomorrow, even though I’m sure it’s going to be fine. But part of me feels like he might want to bury me alive. Istick my head out the window and howl at the moon. Iram my fists into the heavy bag in my home gym until my wrists ache. Iknow exactly why Ifeel like crawling out of my own skin, and it’s not just about Max. Ihaven’t had my medication in a week, and it’s painfully obvious. Literally, pain in mydick, and surely my balls are the shade of indigo. My eyes go straight to the shoes by the door. I’d already be in them, down the road, in the bar, making eyes at someone fit, buying them drinks, preparing to take my meds.
I pace barefoot instead. Iyank on my hair and scream and text my mum that Ilove her and that I’m being areallygood boy, because ain’t that the damn truth. Ipull hard from the vodka bottle and find myself in the hallway staring at one of my favourite framed photos. The one all my partners, whether Iwas with them a week or a year, would always look at sideways. The day Imet Dad at the Rolling Stone offices. I’d spent my whole life thinking about the day I’d get to meet Max, and here Iam with his god damn daughter in my lap, looking at her like the universe made her just for me. The rock god is surrounded by his beautiful wife and two eldest children, and there Iam staking a claim on his youngest for myself without anyone batting an eye. Iknow why my exes glared at this one, just seeing the way Baby looks at me in it, like she can’t figure me the fuck out. No one in that whole family could, until now, and for the life of me, Ican’t tell if that’s a good thing or not.
Chapter 16
Jett
In the morning, Bryson pulls up with today’s special request. Abox of black lab puppies, he had somehow managed to snag from a breeder. Idon’t know why, but Ifeel like it’s important that when Ihave this conversation with Max, we’re covered in puppies like we were the first time that we met. They were my good luck charm then and hopefully now, too.
It feels equally lucky to have Baby open the door for me this time and escort me straight up the stairs to her dad’s office.
“This one’s mine,” she says and grins, kissing me on the cheek before scooping the runt out the box and heading down to the living room for a cuddle. Iwant to follow her so badly, but it's time to man the fuck up.
My exhausted, strung-out body starts to shake when Isee Max holding the door to his office for me. The one that’s all mahogany and leather and ancient weapons. He has an emerald-encrusted dagger he flips absent-mindedly in his hand as Ienter.
“What do you plan on doing with that, Max?”
“Oh, now don’t youMaxme!” He eyes the puppies. “Cheeky fucker, you know how to soften me, eh?” He takes the box and sets it on the floor between the leather chairs angled towards each other in front of his massive desk, handing a puppy to me and hugging another to his chest. “Take a seat, son. Yesterday, Iwatched my pride and joy, my darling youngest daughter, blubber like a baby watching footage of our front door. Now, why do you think that is?”
Is that a freaking trick question?
“Well, hopefully because she really fancies me, Max, and Isaid some pretty sweet shit that maybe got her emotional.”
“Pretty sweet shit,” he echoes, “indeed. Shit like you’ve always said, so you can get anyone with a pulse to shag you.”
“No.” Iprotest. “I’ve never said anything of the sort! I’ve never promised a girl’s family members monogamy and commitment like that, and certainly not offered grandchildren, for Christ's sake. Never!”
“That wasn’t just a line to get Jewels to agree to whatever the fuck this is you want me to agree to?”
