“Hell no! I’ve never even said that word aloud, Max, you gotta believe me!”
“I wanna,” he says, sighing, “but Idon’tgotta.Why Baby? Why now? Your life is about to absolutelyexplode,Jett.”
“Max, Iknew Baby was perfect for me the moment we met. It’s not my fault she wanted nothing to do with my kind. Idid the right thing. Ilet her be who she was. Ididn’t waste time convincing her to date me; Ithought she’d look at me like scum under her feet just for asking. And why wouldn’t Iwant to be with her now? Think about times in your life where your careerexploded.Who was by your side?”
He nods thoughtfully. “It wasn’t always Jewels. And things only went smoothly when it was. Icouldn’t handle my life, my career, anything before her. She’s the only thing that keeps me sane.”
“And Idon’t deserve that sanity, Max?”
His voice grows gruff, and he points the pup at me. “I didn’t say that! But you haven’t convinced me that your dick can stay in your pants, and since it sounds like you want more than a quick shag,thank fuck,you’re going to have to convince me that you can.” He drags his iPad from the corner of his desk and presents it to me. “Exhibit A. What would you do in this situation, Jett? Hmm?”
Max takes his tablet and turns it so that Ican see the screen, and Itry not to start laughing my arse off. Isilently curse Jude because he’s probably the one who taught him how to do this. Apicture of me wearing nothing but my pants has been pasted into the middle of his screen, where he has surrounded me with four of the world’s fittest supermodels. He’s used hisstylus to make a crudely drawn, red pen diagram of ‘supermodels plus Jett plus empty hotel room plus 3:00 in the morning equals cheating on Baby.’ In the corner he has pasted an actual picture of Baby crying from an episode of ‘Palace.’ You can’t make this shit up.
I give every last drop of my effort not to laugh at his creation. “Pops, you know how booze and sex are me self-medicating, so Idon’t need pills! Like, that sleeping pill they’re always telling me to take when Iget worked up! That’s what I’ve always done and—”
“I know all of this, Jett, even more reason for you to answer the fucking question. If sex is your medication, what the bloody hell would you do if you promised yourself to Baby but she’s on set somewhere and you’re here? You’re telling me you’d take the triazolam, kick the models out, andgo to sleep?”
“Yeah,” I say uselessly.
“Uh-huh.” He sighs. “Jett, give me a legit plan or I’m kicking your arse out of here right now!”
“I’d pawn them off on my single bandmates and go hang with the crew on their bus.”
“You really believe that?”
“Yeah, Ido, because Iam so sick of sleeping with strangers, Max! Iwant to be with someone Icare about, and that person is Baby, all right? If you just let me prove it to you—”
“You will. Now, Exhibit B. You’re filming a video with this bird and you’re hitting it off, she’s asking you to join her for a drink in her dressing room. Well? What do you do?”
He swipes to a shirtless me cut and pasted into a convertible with another supermodel, this time one Iknow. That Alessandra Olina, who has great legs, but couldn’t slam whiskey from a teacup the way my dreamgirl could. She’s fit, yeah, but can’t hold a damn candle to Baby.
“Could’ve shagged her years ago, wasn’t interested. If she invited me for a drink, I’d tell her my Baby can shoot whiskey better than she ever could.”
“Good answer. Now, have you had enough dick in your life yet?” Isnort as his finger hovers over a ridiculous Exhibit C which has me surrounded by the boy band of the moment, The Notorious Five, all shirtless and glistening.Idon't want to explain that I've already shagged two of them. Been there, done that. Too much drama. Not that Max would be shocked by that or anything Isay, which is why he's my best mate on the planet - the only one who truly understands me. Nothing can shock the man that bloody electrocuted himself on stage,on purpose.
“Those blokes don't interest me. I’ve had my fill of willies. Unless you're saying Baby has one?” This is so fucking funny, I'm proper proud of myself for not laughing yet. Max sighs.
“Everyone ‘round here has changed that one's nappies and can confirm she doesn't.”
I nod. “Then I'm done with ‘em.”
He shakes his head, swiping until he lands on a somewhat official-looking contract that is, of course, ’cause nothing is bloody normal ’round here, a literal blood oath compact. “Smart move, honestly, proud of you for playing the long game, waiting until it was her idea. She won’t do shit unless it’sherbloody idea.”
“Oh, I know.”
“Never thought you had that kind of patience, lad.”
The pup wiggles against my chest, but my eyes are saucer-sized looking at this looming document in front of me. “I’m a fuckin’ well of patience. Now, what the hell is this?”
“It’s a blood oath, what the fuck you think?”
My eyes scan the contract with ‘I solemnly swear not to have sexual relations of any kind with anyone except Matilda Rose Morningstar’ on it, seriously. There are plenty more promises on here, and honestly, Ican do them all. Treat her right, communicate daily, no matter where I’m at, spoil her, but don’t suffocate her. Easy. Ireach for his stylus and write my name with the wonky thing all over it while the dog falls back to sleep, blissfully unaware I’m signing my literal life away.
“Did you read the fine print, son?”
I squint my eyes and read it aloud, “breaking this contract in any way will lead to a crushed larynx and two broken femurs as a best-case scenario.Jesus, Max!”
He smirks at his handiwork. “Still want your name all over this?”
