My boyfriend gasps and mocks feigned horror with a hand over his mouth. “How dare you, Baby. This is the hottest Ihave ever looked, and you know it!”
“Are you dressed like Axl Rose?” Jett rolls his eyes at me, which is the hottest, brattiest thing he does other than that dumb tongue thing Ilike so much. He already dresses identically to how Axl did in the ‘80s. Idon’t need Google to know that. Ihave photo albums in my mum’s bonus office, which she callsthe alibi room, to prove it. Must have been the long, strawberry blonde wig, purple paisley headband, and aviators perched on his head like a rock ‘n roll halo that gave it away.
He kisses me on the jaw as he walks over to his travel wardrobe case and flicks it open. “Of course I’m Axl Rose, Baby, it’s bloodyHalloweekend!”
There’s a lot of things to love about my boyfriend, but what’s making it in the top five currently is the fact that he loves Halloween as much as me, and swore to never spend it in the UK again becauseBrits don’t get Halloweekend and the Americans know how to fuckin’ do it right!
Now he’s standing before me as a strawberry blonde, and Isnort. He ushers me to come join him to look over the costumes. “Clearly you don’t want to fuck me dressed as Axl?”
“Ew, he’s like an uncle to me! It’s not like I’mAce.” Igag.
His icy green eyes glimmer with amusement, but he takes the wig off immediately. “Right! Point taken. How about this? Do you think I’d look hot in it?”
“Hmm, signs point to yes. Better try it on to confirm.”
He’s holding up my costume for tomorrow night, the one that arrived magically a few nights ago, about an hour after one of Jett’s classic idea dumps. Itwent like this.
“So, on Halloween night, towards the end of the show, I’m going to start singingKill Me Maybe—”
“Aww! Ilove that song.”
“I know, Baby. That’s the point! You loving shit is the main reason Ido anything anymore. Iknow how much you loved getting chased around that castle, and Iwant to do something slasher-inspired like that! So, I’ll just have started singing and Iwant you to show up on stage wearing a fuckin’ skintight black body suit that stops at your delicious thighs, with leather garters, the ones with the little metal heart in the middle? And you’ve got these big knives, one stashed on each thigh, and a Ghostface mask, the one blinged out with little fake diamonds. And you start chasing me around the stage until Istart to scare you, and then Ichaseyouaround and capture you, slamming you onto the stage floor. Then the song ends with me on top of you, your knife in my hand, and the lights go black. You in?”
Honestly, if you can’t roll with Jett, you don’t deserve to be on his ride. So even though Idon’tparticularly wantmy Auntie, Uncle, Mum, Dad, brother and sister to see us acting out frankly a much tamer version of what we did last time we were in England, my response is simply, “If Iget to wear a long, purple wig, sure.”
Everyone’s seen my sex scenes in Palace of Lies, like what’s the difference?
He’s already tapping at his screen. “Curled at the ends, yeah?” Inod, and that’s the end of that.
He starts twirling a purple curl around his finger now. “Can’t wait to fuck you in this wig tomorrow night after the show,mystery Baby.”
“You won’t be able to pull my hair!”
“Then I’ll just have to spank your ass twice as hard.”
All my blood rushes south, not just from imagining extra spankings, but also because Jett wants me to be on stage on Halloween with him, doing what we did at Old Wardour to kick off his tour, which is hot as fuck. Plus, it vaguely teases our future collab which Icould not be more excited about. He tosses my wig on top of his Axl one and suddenly grabs me, lifting me onto the island in the center of the room covered with buckets of cold lager and British snacks, kissing my neck and invading my personal space the way Ilike.
“Ooh, did you order those spring-loaded knives with fake blood coating the tips?”
Jett does the big laugh with all his teeth. “Jesus, Baby. Ithought you wanted to fuck me, but it appears you really want to stab me instead.”
I laugh. “Oh, come on, when do Inotwant to fuck you? I’m just thrilled you want me on stage with you, ya sure your fangirls aren’t gonna boo me? How jealous am Igonna make them?” Itry to ignore social media, but it’s obvious many of his fans don’t like that I’m his girl and say he’s only with me because of who my dad is, blah blah, and it stings a little, but having a boyfriend this hot and talented softens the blow, for sure.
“Can you imagine if my fans started booingmy Mrs. Raven?They’d get a fuckin’ ear full from me and wouldn’t hear any more music till they stopped and screamed an apology. There’s only one person Itolerate brat behaviour from, and that’syou,Baby.”
“Is that my fuckin’ kids Ihear?”
The green room door swings open, and my heart bursts as my entire family piles inside, Dad and Mum first. Jett no longer gives a shit about being caught in a compromising position with me, so he just picks me up again and carries me over to my parents like I’m their Halloween present. They wrap both of us in a big hug as if they haven’t seen us in a year, when it’s beentwo days.
But it doesn’t stop there; it’s like a clown car pulled up, Iswear. Next, there’s Lola and herboyfriend, believe it or not, Kennedy. He’s nearly a decade older than her, and therefore the only person who’s been able to keep her and her raging bitch disorder in check. And she saysIhave daddy issues. The tattooed, long-haired metal singer that we absolutely adore has actually become Jett’s close mentor/friend/big brother he never had because mine’slameand it’s so cute. And then there’s Jude, no longer a ragingdickbecause he’s finally balanced out by his sweet, no-nonsense,way too good for him,dream girl, Penelope. She holds up an overstuffed wardrobe bag with my family’s costumes, and Igrin at her followed by a grateful air kiss.
Then, the uncle and auntie enter with their Princess Britta and, you guessed it, Gage Carter, who has been permanently plastered to her side for the past three months. Auntie and Uncle had to fly to the States just to see their own kid, so Iguess I’m a pretty incredible fucking matchmaker. That makes me smile because clearly, Gage is a relationship guy rather than arebound fling guy anyway, and I’m so happy for them. Finally, Mickie and Silas peek in like they’re not sure they’ll fit, but we’llalwaysmake room for them, obviously.
“Now it’s a fucking party!” Jett has sparks in his eyes as he runs around hugging everyone.
My dad tucks me under his arm and leans closer to my ear, “You’re bloody mental, Matilda.” He gestures to Gage, “You could’ve picked a normal fuckin’ guy, and now he’s gonna be my damn nephew instead, Ijust know it. The hell, Baby?”
I playfully jab his side and roll my eyes, but Jett is all Isee. Ican’t help but think about how I’m soover the moonglad he loves my family, as flawed as we are. And they love him despite his perfectly imperfect, well, everything, even when they joke about me picking the wrong guy.
