Gage and Britta are having an adorably heated debate with Mickie and Silas over who’s the better matchmaker, me or Jett, and Istart cracking open beers for everyone since we got burnt out on champagne. Kennedy picks Jett up and starts shaking him like he owes him money, while Auntie and Mum pull a bottle of wine from Idon’t even know where and start cackling about which of their babies is going to get married first. Idon’t touch that one with a ten-foot pole.
“Surprise!” My one and only Kel pops through the door with her assistant and an enormous trunk in tow. “Ready to get my best girlandher best guyandtheir crew Halloween-ready!”
Jett’s band materializes in the room, and yeah, the girls have their work cut out for them. Iknow they’ll need help, so Ibeg Lola and Penelope to get elbows deep in the makeup, too. Jett’s team advertised a two-day costume ball, but Istill say NYC doesn’t know what’s about to hit them.
I show Kel theBorn This Wayvideo for probably the hundredth time since we’ve been friends and say, “Make us look like Gaga and Zombie Boy, pleeeeaaase, Kel? I’ll love you forever.”
Kel shakes her head, knowing damn well Iwill anyway, and focuses on finishing up on my dad. She has been paintingFrankenstein’s Monster Greenfor so long that he fell asleep. “So, you want me to shave your boyfriend’s head and paint on a realistic brain cavity?”
Jett stops mid-sentence, he was throwing out movie plot ideas at Mickie warp-speed style while doing Dean’s eyeliner. He holds the pencil in midair as he slowly turns his head to gawk at us. As if we’re casually talking about chopping his dick off. His eyes zero in on Zombie Boy.
“That bloke was truly fuckin’ cool and it’s sad that he died but no one is shaving my head, all right?”
“I just meant the makeup. Chill!” This man and hishair,my heavens.
Jett takes a grounding breath and an equally grounding shot of whiskey Kennedy hands him to calm down. Silas has put on the Axl wig, and Isnort, since Mickie has decided to go with the theme and dress like Slash. Lola works diligently to transform Mum into the Bride of Frankenstein while Penelope turns my little cousin into the most incredible pin-up zombie the world’s ever seen.
“I need to be next.” Jett’s drummer, Lily, taps her foot at Kel and her assistant.
Lily starts behaving like an evil Annabelle doll long before her creepy makeup even gets applied, complete diva behavior, and Ican feel Jett losing patience with her. This isnotthe first time I’ve seen her throw a tantrum.
“Relax, you’re next.” He sighs.
Lily doesn’t let up. “You know Ineed to have a full hour to meditate before we go on.”
Jett downs the rest of the whiskey with a shake of his head. Icatch several of my family members rolling their eyes and giving a collective, under their breath groan. I’m proud of myself for not being jealous of her anymore, but Irealize at this moment that Iwould still cheer and throw a party if Jett fired her and swore off girl drummers for good.
Jett’s manager shows up and starts clapping her hands, likechop chop, but my family and Idon’t really mind getting put on the back burner so Jett and his band get done up first. Lily gets in the chair and starts dictating exactly how her makeup should be done and Imouth an apology to Kel. As if Iam in any way responsible for that brat.
“Jesus Christ, there’s a lot more talented drummers out there without afuckin’ attitude Jett could hire.” Dad barks out right after my boyfriend andhis band are ushered out to go do an interview before call time. Little Miss Priss won’t even get five minutes to meditate now.
Jett saysIcan’t agree to something unless it’s my idea, but we all know he’s the exact same way. Us telling him to fire her probably wouldn’t work because, yeah, like me, it has to be his ideaandhis decision. Iknow she has to cross him, and then it will be his idea, and she’ll be sent packing back to Portland or wherever she’s from, but that’s on him.
I ignore her bullshit, and when we are finally Halloween Eve-ready, Idistract my family with a fun little photoshoot because we look incredible.
After a super talented up-and-coming NYC singer is done opening for Jett, my family decides to do a full reveal on stage while the set is being changed behind the curtain. Clearly, I’m not the only attention whore in my family because the crowd goes insane seeing my dad, and he just eats it up along with the rest of them.
Frankenstein’s Monster and his bride get a standing ovation just for existing, and when Iblow kisses to the crowd in my black and white tux, long baby pink ponytail, and full skeleton makeup, his fans don’t boo and even seem to tolerate me. We have our own little mini front row near stage left that we head to, and as Isit, Ipromise myself not to zone out into a Jett-flavored La La Land this time.
The air in the garden is thick with anticipation, buzzing and pulsing with the fans’ desire to see Jett with his new look, new songs, new band, and new stage show. And yes, he was right, it feels so good to be able to see this fresh show and better-than-ever Jett and go on this crazy ridewiththem.
The curtain drops, and the crowd starts cheering; the set is so done up for Halloween that it puts everyone in the mood. Two twenty-foot skeletons flank both sides of the stage, and a giant Jack-o’-lantern with glowing red eyes hangs ominously over the drum kit with piña colada scented smoke,seriously,billowing out of its mouth.
Mum makes a snarky remark about hoping it doesn’t fall and crush Lily, and Ismack her, secretly enjoying her cuntiness as always. Right on cue, the band gets settled on stage, and the crowd chants for my man to come out. The only feeling that could possibly even compare to how incredible this is, is falling in love with Jett himself.
“Can you believe how they’re responding? Itblows my mind that he sold out MSG in less than a minute!Our Jett!” Lola looks flabbergasted, and it’s really cute how proud my sister is of him.
Kennedy, and my dad say in unison, “It was only a matter of time!”
It’s clear I’m not the only weirdo daughter that’s fallen for a younger version of Dad, and Mickie shakes her head like she’s reading our therapy bill. “This is freakingcrazy,Maddy!”
The chanting has turned to stomping and the whole stadium is vibrating. Ican relate to their antsy anticipation, and when Jett starts crawling onto the stage in full zombie mode, complete with a more metal version of Thriller’s coming from his band, the crowd goes as feral for him as Ido on the daily.
He makes it center stage and lies there in his full makeup, black fishnet shirt, and impossibly tight leather pants and lets everyone scream and go cuckoo bananas for him. Atrue Leo, he throws himself on his back, splays his arms out, and soaks up the crowd’s worship. The band starts playing the title track hit from his last album,Devil’s Daughter,and Kel vibrates like her inner teenager is trying to escape.
“Thought Iwanted to die, just wanted to be by your side. The devil’s daughter, the world has never seen anyone hotter. Torch me, eternallyyyyy!”
His scream echoes off the high ceiling, sending an aching jolt of desire straight through my soul. He was dating AnnaBella when he wrote this, but Istill like to pretend it’s about me because hey, what’s wrong with a little delulu?
