It’s not lost on me that this could go very, very badly. In fact, I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t. But I couldn’t sit by and do nothing. It just didn’t feel right. So, I’ll just hold my breath and pray to The Mother I haven’t made a colossal mistake.
“Now’s not a good time,” Ryder grunts under his breath.
“Sure, it is. It’s 10 o’clock at night. What else could you possibly need to be doing?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Planning potential attacks, training, assessing our arsenal.”
“You already have over fifty attack plans ready, you are quite literally the last person who needs more training, and you know our arsenal like the back of your hand.”
“Whatever,” he huffs, quickening his pace so he’s the one leading now.
“Slow down! You don’t even know where we’re going.”
He looks back at me, flaring his arms around. “We’re in the middle of the Shadow Lands. I'm sure I’ll see whatever it is you’re taking me to.”
I do my best to shove down my irritation, but he doesn’t make it easy. Maybe we should just turn back now before things get worse.
“See? I knew I’d stumble upon it, eventually.”
Great. There goes the idea to abort mission.
“Okay, so just hear me out—"
“What is this?” he asks, lifting the big one up.
“They’re lanterns,” I answer, avoiding eye contact.
“For what?” his voice is cold and cutting.
I slowly find the courage to look up at him. “A long time ago, they used to celebrate the dead by writing on the outside of them before sending them into the sky.” He doesn’t say anything. “I just…I thought that it would be nice to do it for—”
“He told you.”
“Yes, but—”
His shadows lash out as his black wings flare behind him. The ground quakes, sending dirt and small rocks into the air around us. I reflexively step back and when I do, he instantly calms his power. Something resembling sorrow or maybe shame, spreads across his face.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” He takes a step forward and I retreat with one of my own.
I wouldn’t say I’m scared, but it’s unsettling seeing him this way.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper before taking off the way we came. I do my best to walk as fast as possible, too embarrassed that I even thought this could be helpful. I don’t bother looking back. I just want to keep going and forget this ever happened.
“Wait.”
He appears in front of me so fast that he has to grab onto me to keep me from running into him.
“It’s fine. It was a stupid idea. Just forget about it.” I bat his arms away and slip around him. I don’t get far though because he grabs my hand and pulls me back around.
“No, it wasn’t a stupid idea. It was thoughtful and kind and I never should’ve reacted that way.” I don’t say anything, and he doesn’t let go. “Please, comeback and help me?”
The desperation in his eyes could split my heart in two. I want to run away from this. From him. But I can’t. So, I let him guide me back. It’s not until we’re standing at the lanterns again that he lets go of my hand. I can still feel the coolness of his skin linger on my fingertips. It’s what I would imagine touching a ghost to feel like.
“Okay. So, one for you and one for me, right?”
I should lie. I should just lie and say yes, he’s right.
“Actually, they’re both for you.” I pause, trying to read his face. “You lost two people that day.”
