Through the flickering flames I can see Reign is lost in thought as she twirls her meltpuff around in the fire. Despite her looking right at it, it begins to run off the end, eventually slipping off to be swallowed by the flames.
Before I can think better of it, I’m standing over her asking if she’d like to join me for a walk. As if I had given her the permission she had been waiting for, she hands her stick to Amaya and steps over the log. Without having to turn around I can feel the pairs of eyes burning into our backs as we walk away from the group, making our way closer to the rising waves. My educated guess would be that they belong to Damien, Nio, and Amaya. No doubt the last one is grinning from ear to ear, thinking me pulling Reign is another sign of my affection for her.
In truth, I want to apologize for telling her to hide who she is. That’s not my call to make. It should be up to her. I’m just so used to being in control that sometimes I forget others should be allowed to make their own choices. But I want to do better. I want tobebetter, and that starts with her.
“Thanks,” she says, looking up at me. The moonlight illuminates her skin in a way that makes her appear drained of color, yet somehow more dazzling.
“For what?”
“Getting me out of my head.” She looks down and runs her bare foot through the sand, letting it cover her.
“I wanted to apologize, actually.”
Her head snaps up. “For what?”
“For telling you to hide that you’re a phoenix from them. It wasn’t my place and I have no right asking you to keep a secret. I want to learn from my mistakes, and I was wrong to ask that of you.”
She smiles at me like I said something funny. “I appreciate the sentiment, but you were right. I had already been thinking about it before you brought it up. The truth is, it’s not safe yet.” She pauses, looking back down at the smooth, black beach. “Besides, when I show people who I am, I want to be able to do it with confidence. I want to be able to show them what being a phoenix means, and right now I’m still trying to figure that out for myself.”
“So, you’re not bothered by the fact that you can’t transform right now like everyone else?”
She tilts her head up at me. “The only thing I’m upset about is not being able to fly like them.” Her eyes lift up to the dragons who are diving and shooting streams of fire into the air. “Even if I could transform, I wouldn’t be able to join them.” Her eyes drift back to mine. “Which is all the more reason to get back home.”
Hearing her call the Shadow Lands “home” thaws some part deep inside me.
“Then I guess we have a training session planned when we return.”
“Good because I’m ready to learn how to walk,” she says with a proud smile.
“Oh really? You think you’re ready for that, huh?” I tease, but I know she’s ready. She’s a quick learner and there’s nodoubt in my mind she’s been working overtime to gain control over her wings. She’s like me in that way, I suppose. Always needing to fight for control.
“Uh huh,” she declares with a nod. “Pretty soon you won’t be able to catch me.” She turns around and starts to sprint down the dark beach, but my shadows are already wrapping themselves around her. She stops and spins around, throwing her hands up in defeat. “Hey, that’s not fair!”
By now I tower over her, blocking the glow of the full moon. “You’ll never outrun my shadows, Princess.”
“Then I’ll just have to chase them away,” she purrs as a tornado of flames create a fiery barrier around her.
I immediately retract my shadows and she releases the inferno, allowing her flames to dissipate.
And that’s when it hits.
Standing here, watching her claim my shadows as her prey, I can no longer deny my feelings for her. At least not to myself. Because as much as I want to keep convincing myself that she’s just a pretty girl who needs saving, I know that’s not true. She’s far more than just a pretty girl and she doesn’t need me to save her. She’s been saving herself her whole life.
If anyone needs saving, it’s me.
Her claws are so deep in me now that there’s nothing more I can do. There’s no running from it—fromher.There’s no more telling myself I only care for her because of the promise I made to her father. No more making excuses for why my thoughts seem to always come back to her. No more trying to convince myself that I only feel a responsibility to her because of what my own father did to her.
How did I get here? How did I let this happen?
Even now, I seem to be in some sort of trance, watching her run along the water’s edge, retreating when the waves rush up.How naïve I was to think I could get close to her and not fall into her deadly trap.
The truth is, I never stood a chance against her. Not with those dangerously captivating eyes staring back at me or that heavenly scent that seems to trap me with memories of her.
I was always under her spell. I was just too blind to see it.
Still, knowing this… admitting it to myself, doesn’t change the fact that I will never be able to have her. Every part of me knows that if I was weak for just a moment too long, it would kill her. One sweet kiss and she would cease to exist.
That is my curse.
