The lack of information has been discouraging to say the least. Between that and no longer being able to train with the witches, I’ve been going through a bit of an identitycrisis. Luckily though, Henry has been kind enough to take me under his wing. Ever since the day of the bombings at the Sector, I have felt this innate need to learn more about healing. Back then, there was this natural pull to assist the injured and although I had some training back at the Sector, it’s nothing compared to the knowledge Henry has shared with me over the past eight weeks. The way his mind works is so different from the others. Just as I was born to be a phoenix, he was born to be a healer.
Working with him has almost created a bridge between my old life and my new one. Even if I’m not a witch, the magic The Mother has gifted each of us is all connected. The roots that were planted in me when I thought I was a witch are the same ones I use now. The results are just a little different.
“So, this is where you’ve been hiding?”
I nearly jump out of my skin when Amaya comes around one of the bookshelves I had tucked myself away in for the past few hours.
“Me? I was looking around for you earlier and you were nowhere to be found so I came here.” I pull her down to sit with me on the floor.
“I was with Cora working on something. You wanna see?”
I immediately nod with excitement, and she perks up, shifting to sit on her knees with her palm up. Within seconds, I’m staring back at myself through the reflection in some sort of magical rectangular mirror.
“Whoa! How did you do that?” I ask, peaking around it to look at Amaya.
“Something about manipulating light or something like that. I don’t really remember what she said, but isn’t it cool?”
“It’s amazing!” I praise, looking back at my reflection, noticing how lopsided my bun had gotten.
“Once I get the hang of it, I’ll be able to create bigger ones that I can use to disorient my opponents. They won’t know what’s real and what’s just a reflection. Cora even had one of the luminaries come and show me and I’m telling you, Reign, it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!” She lets the reflective magic fall away, and she’s absolutely beaming.
I love seeing her like this.
“I can’t wait to see it for myself once you master it! Which I’m sure won’t be long at the rate you’re going!”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” she offers bashfully.
“I do! Amaya, you’re one of the most advanced witches our age here. Ryder even said so himself,” I assure her.
“Ryder? You’re talking to him now?”
“Not really. Only when he pulls me aside during council meetings.”
“You know you’re only torturing yourself by avoiding them,” she lectures.
“Hey, you promised not to criticize my decision anymore.”
Our last night in the Infinite Sea Territories brought me the clarity I needed. There’s too much at stake right now to be distracted by my feelings. How can I focus on how I feel about Damien or Ryder when our people are still living under King Cimmerian’s rule? I can’t be selfish, which is why I can’t be around either of them. Because if I am, I’m afraid I’ll be consumed by the feelings burning inside of me.
“I know, I know. I just can’t help but notice the light in your eyes has dimmed since we got back. I mean if Zane were here right now, and I was steering clear of him, you’d have an opinion about it too,” she defends.
“It’s different and you know it.”
“Why? Because you think the only reason you’re here now is to save everyone? It doesn’t matter if you’re some gift fromThe Mother, Reign, that’s too much of a burden to put on any one person. You may have convinced yourself that’s your only purpose now but you’re wrong. Your friendship matters. Your love matters. Your thoughts on things other than the upcoming war—matter. You are so much more than just a weapon The Mother has sent. I just wish you could see that.”
I hate seeing her face filled with hurt, knowing I’m the cause of it. Whether or not I’ve meant for it to, our relationship has changed. She’s accused me of not being present when we’re together and I can’t say that she’s wrong. Between trying to figure out how to get to Kane, imagining what move the king is going to make next, trying to figure out what I am, trying to locate any information about the lost island that holds the scepter King Cimmerian is hellbent on finding, and locking away any feelings I may have for Damien and Ryder, I’ve had a lot on my plate.
Not to mention having the responsibility of having the second piece of the Verenite Stone. Ryder left it for me in my room once we got back and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t waste its magic on saving a single person. Whatever I use it for has to be worthy of such magic.
Things like family nights and drinking at the taverns just don’t seem like a priority these days and I seem to be the only one who understands that. While the others find comfort in disconnecting from the weight of the impending war, I find comfort in preparing for it.
Chapter 35
Ryder
“Come in.”
I don’t bother lifting my head to see who’s disrupting my alone time. Instead, I remain focused on the sprawled maps in front of me.
