Page 114 of Hide and Seek

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‘And how long have you known this friend of yours for?’ the doctor asked.

Mary pursed her lips, still trying to not give anything away. ‘For quite a while. Since I’ve moved to San Francisco, really.’

‘OK.’ Dr. Fox moved a hand up to her chin, as she pondered over something. ‘And did you, at any moment during the time that you’ve known this person, ever feel threatened or in danger while in this person’s presence?’

‘Not at all.’ Mary bit her bottom lip, as she shook her head. ‘Not ever. To be honest, this is probably the kindest and most understanding person I’ve ever met, after my husband. It makes no sense.’

‘It actually makes a lot of sense, Mary,’ Dr. Fox explained. ‘Contrary to popular belief, most serial murderers lead a very normal life. They have families… they have kids… they hold steady jobs… they are active in their communities… all the traits of an upstanding and common citizen. That’s the reason why so many of them operate for years before they are actually caught, if they’re ever caught. They look normal… they act normal… in fact, they are normal, except for this one thing that turns them into complete monsters. Some can flip that switch on and off whenever they want.’

Mary focused on her breathing. ‘I think that that’s the case here.’

‘You said that you never felt in danger in the presence of this friend,’ Dr. Fox continued. ‘Do you know of any of your mutual friends who have gone missing since you’ve known this person?’

Mary shook her head. ‘No. No one.’

Dr. Fox crossed one leg over the other. ‘As a psychologist,’ she finally explained, ‘what that tells me, is that neither you nor any of your mutual friends are either under threat, or in this person’s killing scope.’

Mary frowned. ‘I’m not sure I’m following you, Doc.’

‘Behind every serial killer’s murder there’s a “drive”,’ Dr. Fox clarified. ‘A reason why they do it. Something that pushes them to kill. It could be for sexual pleasure, or an uncontrollable urge that they can’t explain, or because the voices in their heads tell them to do it… it doesn’t matter, but there’s always something that drives them to kill… something more powerful than they are. But regardless of what that drive is, their victims are never picked at random, even when it seems that way.’

‘So how are they picked?’ Mary asked.

‘Usually because they match certain criteria,’ Dr. Fox explained. ‘Those criteria are specific to each killer, and it can be just about anything – a physical trait, a personality characteristic, the way the person dresses, or walks, or speaks, or acts… it doesn’t matter, but a victim is never really chosen at random. They are chosen because they trigger something in the killer.’

‘OK?’ Mary still sounded unsure.

‘The point I’m trying to make here, Mary,’ Dr. Fox continued, ‘is that since you’re close with your friend and you said that you never, not at any moment, felt threatened or in danger while in this person’s presence, it means that you do not fit his “victim” criteria. You and your friends do not trigger his killing urges.’ She paused Mary with a gesture. ‘The reason I’ve used “he” as a pronoun is because you’ve said that the wall inside this secret room was plastered with photos of women, right?’

Mary nodded.

‘Ninety-nine point nine percent of all serial offenders who target only women,’ Dr. Fox explained, ‘are male. So, it’s safe to assume that this friend of yours is male.’

Mary nodded.

‘And you really never felt threatened? Even a silly innuendo… an ill-timed joke that made you uncomfortable… something?’

‘No.’ Mary’s resolve left no room for argument. ‘Not ever.’

Dr. Fox went back into thinking mode. ‘You said that you don’t want to try to get back into this secret room to obtain photographic proof, right?’

‘No fucking way.’

‘Unfortunately,’ Dr. Fox told Mary, ‘I don’t think that you have too much of a choice. You said that your friend gave you no indication that he knows that you know about this secret room, right?’

‘He doesn’t,’ Mary confirmed.

‘And if I had to guess why that is,’ Dr. Fox carried on, ‘I’d say that’s because since you discovered this room, you haven’t acted any differently while in his company. And that’s exactly what you need to continue doing. If you start acting differently next time you and your friend get together, alarm bells will start ringing in his head.’

Mary brought a hand to her face and cupped it over her mouth.

‘A common trait, not only in serial offenders,’ the doctor said, ‘but in any criminal, is that they’re always in a high state of alert. They don’t want to get caught. Any changes to routines, moods, behaviors, or even the way a person looks at them, will be picked up by their alert radar, which is always on. You said you two are close, so if you start distancing yourself from him out of the blue, he’ll notice. If you act scared or apprehensive next time you see him, he’ll notice. If you, all of a sudden, start avoiding contact, he’ll notice. If you actanydifferently than you ever did when you two are together, he’ll notice. Can you see where I’m going with this?’

Mary closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

‘I won’t pretend to understand how difficult it will be for you to act normal next to someone who you now know is a monster, but if you behave any differently, Mary, assuming that you haven’t got this wrong, then the danger flips to you, regardless ofwhether you’re in his victim scope or not, because if he finds out you know, the “drive” becomes his survival… not an uncontrollable urge.’

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did I have to go in there?’