“I should’ve told you about Columbia,” Jamie eventually said, along with a softsniff. “As soon as I accepted their offer, I should’ve told you. It just… Itwrecked me. To know that I’d made a choice that would disappoint you left mewrecked.” Jamie gave a sharp, hitching breath. “Columbia is amazing, yeah, but even if I hadn’t gotten in there—I still wouldn’t have gone to NYU.”
“What? Why not?”
Jamie looked over, his eyes soft and sad. A tiny little tear slipped down his cheek. “How could I live our dream without you there with me?”
The pressure in my throat tightened to the point that it choked me. I dropped my arms around my knees and leaned into Jamie, pressing my temple against his shoulder. He shifted immediately, stretching his arm around me and hugging me close.
“I wouldn’t want to be at NYU without you,” he went on. “I think it’d kill me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, a tear leaking out at the trembling breath Jamie drew in. It was as if someone reached into my chest and gripped hard, trying to make it pop. “Don’t be dramatic, James,” I muttered, letting out a strangled laugh.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, lowering his head to rest against the top of mine. “I’m sorry I blindsided you.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been so upset about it,” I reached up and scrubbed at my cheek, but another tear replaced the track. “I’m sorry for being the worst friend in the world, Jamie.”
“You’re not. Don’t even say that.”
Jamie’s palm slipped down my back in a soothing lull, and I closed my eyes at his touch. I wanted to lean in further, to press up firmer against him, to let his comforting warmth swallow us whole. With each pass of his palm, the emotion choked me further. I’d kept it all bottled up for so long that it hurt to let out.
The conversation had been long, long overdue, and I hated myself for being so upset for so long. From here on out, I vowed to always be excited for whatever Jamie wanted. I’d never let him feel this way again.
We were quiet for what felt like a long time, but it was a comfortable, healing sort of silence. I loved Nellie to pieces, but there was something about Jamie that was just… different. And maybe whatever it was had to do with me secretly drawing him as Kit. Jamie was steady, warm, and made me feel safe in a way I’d never felt before. It was one of the many reasons why I loved him.
Love.
I abruptly sat back, clearing my throat as I took the steering wheel in my mind and turned it sharply. “Why are you crying?” I asked him with a little snort, reachingover and laying my palm to his cheek, using my thumb to wipe his tear tracks.
Jamie just looked at me with the same sad brown eyes. “Because you are.”
Why are you crying?I’d asked him in a creaky voice after Dalton had broken up with me, startled by the shininess on his cheeks.
Jamie, kneeling beside Nellie’s bed, head propped against her nightstand as if he’d been there a long time, had watery eyes. The same eyes as now.Because you are.
I slowly passed my thumb along his cheek again, though there was no tear to wipe away.
He sat perfectly still as I traced his skin, until his fingers came up and braceleted my wrist. “We could still do it, you know,” he murmured, fingers soft on my pulse point. “We could still make a graphic novel together. You don’t need a college degree to write a book. Or, draw one, I guess.”
I swallowed hard again. I would’ve thought those words would’ve felt like a consolation prize, awell, you didn’t get into your dream school, but I guess we can still do that, but this was Jamie’s way of gripping onto a part of that dream with all his might. His way of gripping ontomewith all his might.
“I was supposed to get better in college,” I replied, lowering my hand. “I’m not talented enough to draw a graphic novel now.”
“Says who?” Jamie still hadn’t let go, and his thumb brushed over the delicate skin of my wrist. “I say you are.”
You don’t listen to me when I tell you that you’re themost talented artist I’ve ever met. The words now melted something inside me, but in an unfamiliar way. It started in my stomach, blooming as if something were trapped there. “I don’t know,” I began, sniffling, trying to add a note of teasing to my cracking voice. “You’ll be so busy soon with college, and?—”
“You’re always my priority, Daisy.”
Something physically ached within me at the words. The fluttering in my stomach spread, almost tickling, and I fought the urge to close my eyes. “I shouldn’t rank above college. Your parents would be upset.”
“But you do.”
Jamie’s fingers still brushed along my wrist, absentminded, but then his other hand lifted. Slowly, carefully, like he was giving me time to pull away, as if he was fighting some part of him that was telling him not to.
I didn’t move, and he didn’t stop.
His palm settled against my cheek, warm and steady, and my lungs forgot how to work as his thumb traced over the damp tracks there. The pressure was featherlight, and I held perfectly still, my body swaying into his touch as if magnetized.
Jamie, I wanted to say, barely breathing.Stop saying weird things. Stop doing weird things. Stop making it seem like you flipped the Romance Switch.
