I didn’t mean any of it, though. My thoughts were a tangle, tripping over themselves, torn between nervousness and something else. This moment reminded me too much of the night at Lydia’s party, after he’d lifted me onto the dresser, before everyone came rushing in. A foreign sort offeeling with Jamie, but one I wanted to lean into. And it scared me.
I closed my eyes now, world spinning at the rush. It was just Jamie, but in that moment, everything felt so strange. Even him. Even myself. And I still needed to talk about Dalton, about my sketchbook, but I didn’t know how to begin. “Don’t break up with me,” I whispered.
Jamie’s hand stilled against my cheek. “What?”
“Don’t break up with me.” My voice came out softer this time, more of a plea. I leaned my cheek into his hand the way he had the other day at the playground. Right before he’d turned his head to kiss my palm. “I don’t want our fake relationship to be over yet. I want to keep going.”
“Because it’s working?”
I don’t care, I nearly said. Not what Dalton thought, not what he felt, not any of it. The moment between us now consumed my thoughts, and instead of admitting the truth, though, I said, “Yes.”
I turned my face ever so slightly, the corner of my lips brushing the heel of Jamie’s hand. Warmth poured through me, enough to make me sway.Just a little further, I thought, keeping my eyes closed, afraid to see my best friend’s expression.I want to see if these butterflies are real. I need to know.
I wasn’t sure if I imagined it, but I could’ve sworn Jamie’s hand slid against my cheek, fingers curving toward the back of my head. I tilted my chin up, holding my breath.I need to know?—
My bedroom door slammed against the jamb, and if Ihadn’t locked it, the door would’ve shoved in. I jerked back as if doused with ice water, gasping.
“Daisy?” Theo’s little voice whispered from the hallway. “Are you up?” And then he rapped his little knuckles against the wood.
My heart jumped into my throat. I shot up from the bed, grabbing Jamie’s hand. “Hide in my closet,” I urged him, heart slamming so loud that I could barely hear myself.
“Daisy,” Jamie hissed, his own cheeks red. “It’s just Theo?—”
“If he sees you, he’ll never go to sleep, and his excited voice will wake everyone else.” Jamie tripped over his feet as I dragged him across the floor. I hauled my closet door open, wincing at the clothes I’d haphazardly shoved into it earlier, but there was no time. “I’ll—I’ll be back.”
Jamie’s eyes were wide. “Daze?—”
I shut the closet door between us.
I took a second to draw in two steadying breaths, but it didn’t help steady my shaking.What was that?I wondered with a mild sort of shock, feeling the ghost pressure of Jamie’s palm on my cheek. Against the corner of my lips.That… was definitely not fake.
Theo’s small knock came again. “Daisy?”
I hurried over to the door before his voice woke the girls, unlocked the knob, and hauled it open. He stood on the threshold, red hair tousled. “What are you doing awake?”
“I couldn’t fall asleep.”
Hehadfallen asleep, but Jamie falling through mywindow must’ve stirred him. Letting him nap after ice cream on Friday had been areallybad idea. But his eyes were sleepy, and it probably wouldn’t take long to knock him out completely. I grabbed his little hand. “Do you need one more story?”
Theo nodded.
“Should we call Jamie and see if he wants to read one for you?”
There was a soft noise of protest from my closet, one I covered with a cough. Theo, though, perked up a little. “Can we?”
“Only if you hurry into bed.”
Quickly, Theo listened, hopping off back toward his bedroom. I lingered in my bedroom long enough to grab my phone from my desk, watching as my closet door peeked open. Jamie’s face was barely visible in the dark. “Daisy?—”
“Make it a good one.” I gave Jamie an encouraging smile before disappearing into the hall.
The distance, though, was a good thing. If I’d stayed in my bedroom any longer, I was sure I’d have gone into cardiac arrest.Think about it later, I told myself, trying to settle so a calm energy would wash over Theo.
He was already waiting in his small twin bed when I got to his room, and I stretched out beside him on it, pulled my phone from my pocket and pressedcall. It rang once, and I could’ve sworn I could hear Jamie’s ringtone through the walls—I hadn’t thoughtthatthrough—before he answered. “H-Hi.” His voice was a whisper.
“Hi, Jamie,” I murmured with a chuckle. “Theo wants a unique bedtime story. You got a good one for him?”
Jamie sighed, and the sound was clear as day—resignation. “Let me… think.”
